Sunday, April 13, 2008

I have a vision

I have a vision of myself. I see her going around the track at the gym. She is fit, slender and really really healthy. I see this vision in my mind. Of what I could be, of what I used to be, of what I want to be. Sometimes I am on my way to becoming this other woman but then I sideline myself. Why do I do that? I've thought of this often and I don't know why. How can we want something so much but fail to achieve it? Hard question to answer. I guess I think of this every time I'm at the gym and seeing all the fit people running,

Just feeling like I want to so much and can't achieve it as far as getting to a healthy weight. I seem to be more concentrated on my career/schooling at the moment. I did get in some exercise at the gym yesterday so that's something, I guess. I'm really tired of thinking about my body size and all that it's not. Exhausting to be constantly on my mind. Seems it would be enough to get me to achieve my goals? Guess not, or we all would be thin.

I have a vacation at xmas time and I want to be a lot fitter by then. Wrote a post the other day below. Just feeling a little out of sorts today and off to study the facial bones, postions for xrays and my physics. yuck. Not what I want to do today but I goofed off yesterday as it was our first sunny day in a long time and felt like spring for once.

3 comments:

Half Man said...

I have had that same vision, well sort of...I mean I dreamed of a fit, skinny, me...not you...anyhow. I think it's easy to dream of something we want, but hard to dream about the long, hard, demanding, arduous path to reach that goal, and then maintaining that goal. I know you can do it though!

Spider63 said...

You are not that heavy. Your vision of yourself is within your grasp. You just have to be patient and stick to it. I know you can do it!!

Chris H said...

In answer to your question: I have anemia due to adnormally heavy blood loss every 3 weeks, with spotting inbetween, so losing too much too often (due in part to having fibroids in-uetero). I am on the URGENT waiting list for a hysterectomy.... probably a few months off yet though. JOYS of being a menopausal woman!