Monday, April 23, 2007

I want this fat suit off!

This is me at various times in my life. Me, by the waterfall, on our honeymoon at about 150lbs. The black sweater is me at 201 back in December last year and the one pic in white is me at the start wt at about 245, I would guess. It couldn't find hardly any photos from 2005. I am a master at avoiding the camera.

Some of these photos you have seen and some you haven't. I'm trying to use these pics for my motivation to lose more weight as I have been slacking the last few months and can't find the drive to continue on the wt loss journey. I want this fat suit off! Yeah, it is better than it was but it is starting to creep back on and I don't want this to be the beginning of the end. I was going to put up another pic of me at 125lbs but I couldn't get it to scan correctly. I don't think I can get down do that wt again but this pic above at 150, I believe I can get there. That is my goal. Of course, it sucks that I will be an older version but there is really nothing that can be done about ageing unless I spend tons on plastic surgery. Ha!

So, what do for motivation? Have you used the picture technique? Or does that just make you feel bad to see the heavy you? I'm trying to use this to see my progress and realize, yes, I am making some strides and I need to keep on doing it or I will blimp back all the way back up!! I am feeling a little lost at the moment and am entertaining the idea of Nutrisystem or Jenny Craing to get back on track and eating smaller portions. Weight watchers is good though, it's just that it's all up to you to track points and I don't want to seem to do it anymore. I have been trying to just eat healthy on my own and that works for a while and then the crap has come back into my diet. Sugar is the enemy lately. If I eat something laced with sugar, it just makes me want more! It's like the devil is back on my shoulder and yelling for "more, more, more food!" The angel is on the other shoulder whispering, "you can do this, you can get the healthy body you want!" Damn devil has a fricken loud voice!

Doing the last scuba post and remembering my past has made me want to try again. I'm not happy in the body that I'm in so I fricken better do something about it. I have the friggen triathalon in August and I am not even ready. The fat suit is holding me back and making everything I want to accomplish so much harder! Ok, enough venting for now! I can envision myself at a healthy weight, why am I holding myself back? I need a concrete plan of action and I am going to work on writing that down.

In other news, the weekend was pretty good. Friday, I took my son to the spring fair and he enjoyed the rides and looking at the animals. We had to break down and buy some cinnamon/sugar elephant ears. I love those things. Saturday and Sunday we went down to my dad's and uncles cabin to help out my parents. It was cleaning weekend and get the cabin ready. We cleaned up fallen trees and branches for hours, moved the lawn, cleaned the cabin, cleaned the shed, had a bug man spray, burned the excess branches, cleaned the dock off. I'm sore today! I'm sure it's a sign I'm getting really out of shape again! It is early to clean the cabin but since my uncle has cancer he has asked us to take on more of the upkeep of this small cabin. We usually do the opening of it on memorial day but some people are going to be living there for a short while as my uncle wants them to build a big covering for some trailers we will put outside the cabin. As the family grows, it seems we need trailers too. I will take some pics this summer and post them of the money pit/errrrr, I mean the cabin. It is a nice place to get away and it is only about 1 1/2 hrs from us. The cabin is old and crappy but it is on the lake and we will move my dad's boat up there soon. The kids love it for the swimming and boating, of course. My mom just see's more work and cleaning and I hope she doesn't want to sell it!

Hope you are having a good week and are making progress in your wt loss journeys!


FatMom said...

You can do it, AngelFish! You can, you can!!! Just keep your eye on the future, but focus on your improved health now. I'm still trying to find my motivation...but I believe it's simply better health! I've felt literally "sick" for so long, and I'm beginning to feel healthy again...that's my motivation. At least for now it is!

Terri said...

Flipping through my pictures is what sometimes keep me from giving up. There is no way I want to end up back at 258Lbs.

Now I bounce around between 215 - 219. Exteremely annoying. BUT I am working on a plan. Like exercising more. I think I could do better in that dept.

Kim said...

Hi Patty! I know just how you feel right now. It's hard when you know you have made enough progress to be better off from where you started, yet still finding it hard to keep the motivation in tact. I am in the same place.

Maybe trying to switch the focus onto working out instead of the food would help. I went out walking twice today, and I enjoyed the second round so much that I am already plotting as to when I can get back out there.

Just keep searching for something that will make it work for you. Giving up is NOT an option! :)

Chris H said...

I loath seeing fat photos of myself, but they serve as a reminder of where I never want to be again! HOwever they work for you, use them! Put one on the fridge.. the pantry.... the freezer... anywhere to stop ya eating what ya shouldn't! Have a fantastic day... I am and I don't even know why!

Living to Feel Good said...

It sounds like you are already thinking about doing another plan. I say if you haven't been motivated by WW or watching your portions then go for Jenny Craig. I don't know much about it, but I see as you have on the commercials that you can still eat chocolate cake! I also believe they do all the thinking for you which sounds like something you could use for now. I believe it would be a good motivator to have something fresh in your life, and without thought. After a while if you get sick of that, you can start thinking for yourself, but I think trying Jenny sounds like a fantastic change! I don't want to sound down...but you have seemed so down on yourself the past few months, I think you deserve the change which ever you decided to get yourself motivated again. Believe in yourself, and give yourself a chance. Go for it!! What do you have to lose? Just where you are now right??!! GO FOR IT!!!!!! :D

San said...

i so know how you are feeling, that was me a few weeks ago.

the only reason i can afford JC is because i had a life membership and don't do the program as such, i have my own dinners and some lunches. it's about 40-45 per week and i work an extra shift on Wed nights to cover it now. we're madly savign for our house here.

i know how you feel, i don't do the photo thing, it's too depressing both ways. wow i looked good, shit i looked terrible! so i just go on the here and now.

good luck with whatever you do, i'm reading and sorry i can't always comment.

Wanna_B_slim said...

I seriously dont know what to say to help you get back on track. I know how hard it is and how easy it is to fall back into bad eating habits! Plz just seriously think about what you are putting in your mouth. Start to disipline yourself as you would a naughty child. Maybe that will help! I know you used to be right into your exercise, time to get back into it! You can do it, you have come so far already. Plz dont undo all that good.

angelfish24 said...

Thanks everyone for the comments. It has been a rough couple of months of me not wanting to diet. I can't quit, I will keep trying, just need to try something different. Maybe a fat farm? Ha ha if we only had the time or the luxury.

christie said...

You can do it, we both can! Sometimes pictures make me motivated and other times they make me feel bad, I guess it depends on my mindset. When I'm feeling positive, it's definitely motivation. However, I don't have any "thin pictres" to try and get back to. I'm pretty much looking back at being heavier than now and wanting to make sure I don't go back there.

Thanks for sharing all your stories about diving and living in the caymans and maui - that was awesome to learn that about you!

Spider63 said...

You look great. Even at 200+, your face looks oval, and you are very pretty. Many people get a round pumpkin head (like me) when they get heavy. If you can get to 150, you will be awesome!