A bit better

Feeling a bit better today about things. I had 2 medical tests today, the PFC (or breathing/lung test thing) and a stress test. The tests seemed to go well. I still need to see the pulmonary doctor next week but the heart doc said the stress test was A-ok. They put all these sticky round things on you and hook up the wires. They put you on a treadmill for 10 minutes, first at an easy pace and then continually harder till your running. It was a little hard at the end as I haven't jogged in so long but I knew it would be over soon. They checked my heart and blood pressure and it seemed to be in the normal ranges though a little high at the beginning. I was happy that the doc said that she wouldn't refer me for more tests. If I have more chest pain then she said I might want to get an echo test to look at the how the valves in my heart are working. I did have a heart murmur as a child so that would be something to look at if my symptoms come back. But, I am still having some upper back pain and arm pain but I haven't had the chest pain all weekend! That's good news and gives me hope that this is was just a very stressful period in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that stress would cause me to have bad chest pain. They haven't said it's stress but I suppose it could be.

The weekend was a bit difficult going to my uncle's funeral. There was a lot of crying going on but it was a nice rememberance of him and his son talked and other folks and had a nice slide show of pictures. They put on a great after party and tons of food. Their community/church really comes together in their small town. We then went to my Aunt's house and talked with all the family and other close friends. Some people (his son, my cousin) took the after get together as an excuse to get obliterated with alcohol. I know it's a tough time for him, especially today, but I see the alchoholic tendencies in him that night and other times. Our family has a history of alcoholism. All the way from my Grandpa to my dad to my uncle. The good news is that my dad and my uncle had overcome their demons and were alcohol free after years of abusing it. So, a lot of us are worrying about my cousin. I hope he can contol it. I know the feeling though, he probably just wanted the alcohol to numb him from feeling anything. It was good to see a lot of extended family, even my grandma's brother who I haven't seen in ages. He reminds me so much of my grandma who died 12 years ago. My son had a blast with the cousins as there were so many kids to play with.

I feel like I've lost a lot of ground in regards to fitness. I was on that treadmill test and thinking, 'wow, this is hard'. Why have I let myself slack so much. I think I was just scared when I had the chest pain and quit working out except for some walking. I feel like I have come a long way from the high of doing the triathalon and now feeling kinda low. And, I have to admit to the HALL OF SHAME. The hall of eating shame! When all these medical issues came up and all this sadness this past month I have been having a field day with food. Let's see I've been favoring those little debbie cakes, kind of like chocolate ho-ho's. And I'm a good customer of Taco Time and their Chicken soft taco and mexi-fries. And I've been bad about having ice cream, ya know the hot fudge sundaes! Yikes. It's like all that I have been depriving myself of I just let loose and had them. Kind of like self-medicating with food. Some of you know what I'm talking about. I used to self medicate with exercise and have to find a way to do that again.

But, school is really busy and I have tons of reading to do all the time and have 2 tests in radiology tomorrow. So, I'll take it one day at a time for now. How do you all handle stress? I really need to find more ways to do that as it looks now that it can affect my health. Maybe a massage is in order. Hope you all are having a good week!