Thursday, September 27, 2007

gloom and doom

Can't help but feel a sense of gloom and doom. I had a call from the nurse and I can't even remember the exact wording but they think they might see something on my chest xray but it's indeterminable. Whatever the heck that means. And my cholesterol is a bit high but not sky high. Now the nurse says the doc wants me to go ahead with the stress test/ekg thing which I was going to do anyway next week but now wants me to see a pulmonologist or something to rule out problems with the lungs. I'm really confused by this. I'm not sure if they might see something in the lungs or what. It doesn't make sense for me to see two diff. specialists when I haven't even had all the heart tests. My symptoms have been heart related not breathing related.

As you can tell I'm not a happy camper at the moment. I'm trying to stay up and positive but it's impossible these days. I ended up cancelling on my outing with my friends due to school stress and the health stuff. And for some reason when the nurse left a message to call her I knew it wasn't all good news. Sometimes I think I have too much intuition.

I didn't weigh in today, I am on a hiatus but I bet I'm up some. It's taking a back seat for now. But I vow to eat healthy today and to get in a walk. I can't do heavy cardio now as I'm not feeling my best but I can still walk. School is going pretty good but they are tough on us and had our first test the 1st week. It seemed to go well but I'm already behind on the reading. I have 4 classes and they give us about 2 huge chapters per class per week so I'm not sure when I'm gonna get it all done. I usually would take a weekend day and go to the library but we are going down to my aunt's house for my uncle's funeral or as she is calling it the 'life celebration'. So it will be extremely hard but it will be good to spend some time with that side of the family. My cousins (3 of them) all have small children so my son will enjoy seeing them. So, gotta do the family thing and they want us to spend the night on Saturday. I'm just having trouble due to the school demands versus family wishes. I can't let them down so I will find a way.

I will try to do a more uplifting post sometime or diet/wt related eventually but I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water. Hope everyone out in blogland is doing good and I will visit your sites soon.

14 comments:

jodi said...

sorry to hear about your bad news - is there any way to get more details? i hate when doctors/nurses are cryptic - it's like, just tell me because i'm going to find out anyway...

just take one day at a time and do what you can... get outside once a day for some fresh air, that might help... :o)

Christine said...

Keep your head up - we are thinking about you.

Marshmallow said...

I'm with Jodi - I think you should try to find more details, since it sounds like you're worrying end over end about what's going on (and truth be told, I am too!)

And I think you should try and reschedule that meeting with your friends. I think you need as many friends around you as you can at this time. It's times like this that I wish there wasn't this digital barrier between us so that I could be more of a friend to you physically {{{HUGZ}}}

Kim said...

Hey Patty,
I've got you in my prayers that everything is A-Okay. Think good thoughts. :)

Anonymous said...

San here

hey Patty - sorry to hear about your uncle and what is going on with you.

stay strong and be healthy. don't worry about the scales just make good choices and try not to stress.

will be reading!
x

B said...

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I hope the weekend is okay for you and try not to stress too much. Thinking of you anyway,
Bri

Natalie said...

Hey there... delurking to say I hope you feel better soon.

I know dieting is tough, especially since life is always throwing spanners in the work, but you'll be alright. We're always alright.

And if you get stuck for someone to talk to, I'm sure any of us on here would be willing to lend an ear :)

I hope you feel better soon - and good luck with your weigh-in next week xxx

Lori said...

Don't worry about the scale; that's not the primary concern. I'm going to chime in with everyone else in the advice to go get some more details. Maybe they can do another x-ray to make sure it wasn't a smudge or something (this is not uncommon at all).

The only reason your lungs could be involved is if they are damaged, they can make your heart work harder than necessary. At least, that's how they explained my father's symptoms (but he's really old, hx of smoking, working with dust, etc.).

I'm sorry about your uncle too. Don't worry about being uplifting, etc. etc. Just take care of yourself.

TrixieBelden said...

i'm so sorry to hear you have bad/uncertain news about your health. i agree with marshmallow that you should think about rescheduling your outing with friends. i think you should be around people who make you happy and can give you an all important hug! :)

Wanna_B_slim said...

Hi ya Patty.... I am sorry to hear that things arent so positive at the moment... take care of yourself and please let us know more when you find out...
Health issues are always worrying...

Lady Rose said...

I had my first stress test and ekg and all that stuff last spring and the results were inconclusive -- so had to have a cardiac catherization. So far all is well - and I've lost 90 lbs and the cardiologist is very happy.

I know it can be a stressful time - but try to keep positive and know that eating healthy and exercise (with doctors approval of course) can really help with almost all heart related issues.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer.

Meow Meow said...

Know that you ahve some blogger friends cheering for you !
I understand the overwhelming stress you are feeling, I really do.
I am working full time, and going to grad school and fighting health problems. I too feel like shit!
I'll always have an ear~

Christie said...

Huge hugs for you Patty. Just get the tests done and stay positive, I'm sure everything will turn out alright!

You're my shining star, keep shining!!

XOXO

Spidey said...

You will be fine. There is nothing wrong with you. Trust me on this. The odds are 50% that I am right.