Sunday, March 09, 2008

going round and round




I've been going round and round and up and down with my weight. I'll lose three gain 2. Lose 2 gain 3....just not making progress. It seems that when I'm concentrating on work and school I am only wanting to work on the intellectual side. The physical side seems hard to fit in. Last year in the spring and summer I had lots of time to devote to exercise and eating right. Now, its seems a struggle as I constantly have to study. I'm trying so I guess that's the best I can do.

Christie over at http://www.learning-intuition.com/ has been talking about the book intuitive eating. Maybe it's time I looked at that. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the intuitive eating thing but then I go back to my crutch of emotional eating and eating for comfort. Like it's the only thing in the day that I look forward to....a good dinner. Sad I know.

This blog has become more of just what's going on in my life and sometimes that's just not that interesting at the moment. I'm counting down the days till my finals are over on March 20. Can't wait to get some R&R. Don't have any plans do do anything really just get some cleaning and projects done around the house, especially my boy's room and get things organized and filed. I haven't had time for any of these tasks. The day ahead won't be a fun one as I have to study for 2 tests tomorrow. I'm going to try to go to my neice's soccer game as she usually doesn't play close to our town and just happens to be today. So I will go and see my sister an nephew too if I can spare time away from the studies. Tough choice for me sometimes....to study more or to spend time with family as it's getting down to crunch time.

I'm also looking forward to a break from my clinical (health) site where I do xrays. It seems you are under a microscope and they judge your every move as we are learning. My teacher or the lady (technician) who I mainly follow and learn from was in a bitchy mood on Thursday and just layed into me and looked like she hated me. I didn't even do the xray wrong I just did it a little different than she would have done. I felt emotional and had to fight losing it and wanting to cry. I hate feeling like I will do this in front of others. I don't know why I can't handle criticism well some days, I think it was the ugly look and loud tone of voice she used with me. I know it had a lot to do with her too as that morning she said she was in a bad mood. I wish some there wouldn't take it out on others....it happens once in a while and it sucks. I'm sure you have all had these type of people in your life and you just have to deal with it. I'm still feeling like I'm more emotional these days being on this blood pressure meds. I talked to the doc, well really nurse practitioner and she doesn't want me to change meds. I told her I was taking 1/2 a pill cause I felt my body handled it better and she didn't like that. She says I need to take the whole pill as to get my blood pressure in the range she wants. It's not bad now. So it looks like I tell her my symptoms, like feeling depressed and emotional from the meds and she just doesn't listen to me. She says this med with I think is Lisinopril is what insurance companies go with first as it's generic and cheaper. So, it looks like if I want to change to other meds I'll have to insist more. I don't like it when she says "those aren't typical symptoms reported". Well, heck, they are my symptoms and I darn well know if they make changes in my body and affect my life. It just pisses me off...I'll try the meds more but it is my body and my choice, god darnit! Maybe it's time for change in doctors I don't know. I usually like her as my yearly, gyno nurse but now I'm not so sure.

Anyway I'm prob. boring you to tears and I have some work to do. Anybody have trouble with posting yesterday? I couldn't get it to work I guess they must have been working on their system. Take care and hope you all are doing well this week!!! Here's an article from spark and good tips to remember when measuring your progress....http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=487.

6 comments:

B said...

Good luck for your exams, i'm sure you'll do fine. You're so busy right now,a bit like me, diet is the last thing on my mind. Hang in there, it will get better.
I also know about nasty people at work, it's hard but you have to not let it affect you, keep positive and feel sorry for them. It's more difficult when you're feeling a bit run down and overloaded too. Negative breeds negative doesn't it?
Maybe bring her a cup of coffee and just keep smiling til she turns it around.
Hope things get better for you soon.
Bri

Living to Feel Good said...

I'm sorry that lady was mean to you, and no one should feel like they are on the verge of tears! If I were you, I would just assume she is unhappy with her life, and you are stronger than that. Keep your chin up.

Good luck on your exams. You'll do great!! :)

Christie said...

I definitely know how it feels to have someone take things out on you like that. It's the same personality my boss has! What you said about not doing it wrong but just differently than she would have... ding ding ding!! Same for me with my boss. No matter how I do something, it's wrong in her eyes because it's not exactly what she would do. I'm sorry you're going through that. We just have to tell ourselves it's the other person's problem.

If you do look into Intuitive Eating, I'm always here to talk to :) I still have so much to learn but it is such a wonderful thing in my life right now that I'm very excited about and always happy to discuss!

Best wishes on your finals!!

Savy said...

I think there is something to intuitive eating, but I think the bigger puzzle piece is why you need comfort from anything - much less food. It's not that there is anything wrong with that, it's that there is something bugging you and that has to be looked at.

As for feeling like that in front of people.. ugh me too. I've just wished my tear ducts away and cursed myself for it. We don't like being other people's punching bag. And worse, you were unjustly treated - why wouldn't you feel bad about that?

You are doing great, just remember that. And find an anchor where everything is "ok" - whether it's physical, a song, a picture, a person - whatever. Just have one.

celtic_girl said...

It's very hard trying to juggle studies,careers as well as a home life and family.I"m sure you will agree it will be worth it in the end and you'll be able to look back at it with a sense of pride and achievement.

Hope your finals go well for you.

TrixieBelden said...

i hate it when health care professionals don't listen! i think you should try to find a new doctor/nurse to go to because i think your personal experiences with the medication are important and should be properly addressed. but i don't want to stress you out with another thing to do. do it when you have time if you can. good luck on your exams! you'll be great!