Going towards the warm weather

My son and I are off to Palm Springs, CA tomorrow. Yeah!!! We'll be back on Monday next week. I'm hoping for some warm weather and it's forcasted for high 60's and then 70's and maybe 83 by Sunday. That would be awesome and anything will be better than the 30-40's we are having here. My son loves to swim so I'm hoping the weather will be good enough to swim outside. I've been to Palm Springs a long time ago when I first lived in California (Long Beach) with my husband when we first knew each other. I took a road trip over there with my mom way back then. It is a nice place and desert like landscape and palm trees and nice hotels, and lots of good golf courses. Of course, sometimes you see all the rich people and their cars, houses, etc. but it seems a lot different than say Hollywood. I will bring the camera and try get some shots of the scenery.

On the diet front, I didn't weigh in yesterday due to being sick with the tummy flu or something. I couldn't even get out of the house yesterday and that was challenging with a 5 yr old wanting to go to the park and play all day. We settled for playing outside for a while as I had to lay down part of the day. I sure am catching every cold bug and sickness these past 2 months. I'm sick of it. I'm doing a lot better today though we both have stuffy noses. I'm just hoping that we don't have trouble flying as far as getting our ears to equalize. The birthday weekend was good. We went out to eat Thai and had Phad Thai and panang curry and also to a restaurant called the Ram. It is a restaurant/microbrewery and I had something called Bourbon chicken and mashed potatoes. It was awesome. We had this giant piece of Mud pie but we all shared it wasn't so bad. I'm afraid the weight isn't budging but I know why -- just too much food. Too much good and calorie laden food. Though I sure didn't eat much yesterday so may have undone some of the damage. I got in some exercise today but it was just walking but better than nothing. The trip will be a challenge to eat right but I'll try my best.

I hope everyone is having a good week and I'll catch up with you next week.

sick to my stomach.....about triathalon, about cancer

No, not sick anymore with a cold or flu but just signed up for the Seattle Danskin Womens' triathalon in August. I feel sick with like butterflies in my stomach and wonder if I can do this! All I need to do is swim, bike and run. Seems doable, doesn't it? I can do these things separately, well maybe not run all the way yet but I haven't combined more that 2 of these different activities yet. I know if I can't do it all, I can walk in the run, that should be my focus at the moment. I've invited a few of my friends and have 2 takers so far so I'm excited about that. You really do the race by yourself at your own pace but it would be fun to see my friends at the beginning and end, or maybe start the race together as we will be in the same age group.

One of my main reasons for doing this is to raise money for breast cancer research as this is near and dear to me. My best girlfriend, Dawn, has been fighting the fight against breast cancer for a few years now. It's so hard on her but she is a strong woman but it's not going away. She got this disease at a pretty early age, in her 30's. Something has to be done to find the cure! I'm just a little emotional about it right now as I just talked to her recently (she lives in a diff. state) and she is going through her 3rd round of chemo in the past few years and she is so tired all the time. I just get so worried that I might lose her someday. This is the kind of friend I don't want to lose, the kind you can talk to about anything, the kind that has your back, the kind that keeps your secrets and you keep hers and never will divulge to anyone, the kind that helps you when your marriage gets rocky and you help her when hers is on the brink of divorce, the kind that will be there for you no matter what. Those kind of friends are hard to find. We went to high school together but got really close after high school when we lived together for a while. I just don't know what I can do for her but be supportive as much as I can from the distance/miles between us like I have been. But, on somedays, when I hear her talk, I feel I'm not doing enough for her. I also am going for a visit at the end of March for our annual trip to vegas and will see her then as she lives there so really looking forward to that.

Anyway, on the eating/diet front, it isn't going that well this week due to birthday celebrations for 2 days and just eating out too much and too much chocolate. Yikes. I need to get my butt into gear to start really training for this and drop a good amount of weight by August. My knee has been aching since I started up jogging again so I have to ease off of that for a while, but, I'm not letting up on the exercising. The elliptical machine is still ok and the walking isn't too bad. I hope everyone is having a good week!!

Just maintaining

Just maintaining this week and I'm ok with that. I have been off my regular routine as I've been sick a lot. I've started exercising again this week and will try for 4 or 5 times this week. I also need to get my eating in line and start eating more fruits and veggies. That's the goal this week.

I had a nice weekend and went to see the play 'Buddy' about Buddy Holly's life. It was really good and was mostly about the music. The main actor who played buddy was a local Seattle man who plays in the band the Dusty 45's. I've never heard of them but someone told me they sing rock-a-billy. I'm assuming it's a country rock kind of thing. Maybe I'll have to go check them out as he is really talented. We then went to the top of the Hilton and had a really nice dinner. It's nice to get some time in with my sisters, mom and some other women and do something fun. Sunday we went back up to Seattle as my hubby wanted to use his gift certificate I got him at this triathalon store. Chase and I played at Gasworks park that we've been to before (think I posted pics a while back) and then up to Greenlake to the playground. There is a running/walking path around Greenlake and it's about 3.3 miles. I should attempt to run that some day.

I've got a b-day coming up this weekend and we will probably just go out to dinner with my folks as they will be on their way down to Palm Springs, and it's count down to when my son and I will visit there at the end of the month, 7 more days......can you tell I'm excited to get out of town. It hasn't helped that it has been raining for like 10 days straight, sometimes the weather drives me crazy in Washington! I hope everyone is having a good week and I'll by to visit your blogs here soon.

Week not going as planned and about triathalons!

This week is not going as planned. I've been sick with another cold and just so tired and run down. You would think I wouldn't feed a cold but I have, I mean not a lot but some wrong choices. And only exercised today for the week as no energy at all but I guess that's to be expected.

Is anyone out there thinking of doing a first triathalon or a first run/race? I made a plan last year to do the Danskin women's tri in August (if I can get registered in time, it sells out fast when they open it to register.) What I would have to do is a 1/2 mile swim, a 12 mile bike and a 3.1 mile run. I've wrote about this before and I'm trying to focus on what I will need to do to train for this race. So far, I've tried to get my endurance up to working out (cardio) for an hour or hour and 1/2 and started jogging last fall. I have been very sporadic in my jogging and have never gotten about 1.5 miles jogging though I usually will go a couple more miles on top of that with walking and then add on the elliptical. So I feel I have the endurance but need the right training. I'm not sure exactly what that should be and I'm gonna do some more research and reading on the subject. Of course, what I need to do is bike more and swim more that's for sure. What have you all done out in blog land to prepare for a first event?? I'm a little scared about the whole thing or maybe nervous but I'm excited at the same time.

I'm starting right now on making this a better rest of the week. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot after Monday wt loss. Hope everyone is having a good week!

weigh in day

Went to ww yesterday and had a loss of -2.8 lbs! Wooohooo! Finally a loss, it has been a real long time after my month of gaining. I wasn't sure how the week would turn out as my exercise was great and during the week I ate pretty good but the weekend I didn't count my points and didn't really diet. So I am real happy with that. This helps my mood and motivation a lot and my outlook is better and I have some optimism that I can do this again. I'm still having ups and downs but I just have to keep on this journey.

Not much else happening, I'm still working on those darn taxes and almost done. I've gotten a cold again and I just had one 2 weeks ago! So I'm pissed about that. My hubby caught one at work and obviously it's a different virus. Sick of being sick but what can you do. My son wanted to stay at Grandma's another day so I have some time to get things done around here. I miss him terribly though even though he sometimes wears me out.

Here's a quote I got off the ww newletter, "If it isn't hunger, food won't fix it!" Think I'll put that on my page to remind me. Hope everyone is having a good week!

The weekend

I felt I was doing pretty good this week as I worked out 5 times this week, but, I have been having these strong cravings for sugar or maybe it's carbs and then I cave a little on the food intake. I'm not sure if I'll have a loss on Monday or not, we'll see. The weekend wasn't as good as I wanted. We just got back from going to my mom's (it's about 3 hours away). She fed everyone pizza last night and I indulged a little too much. It is one of my trigger foods. Arrggghhh!! And just seems every time I go to visit there I eat too much junk food. I got to see both of my sisters (as one was visiting for the night and the other lives in town) so that was nice. My dad bought a new van so we aquired his old Honda Odyssey van. It has a lot of miles on it but still runs good and the only bad point is my dad spilled gas in the back and it reeks of gas. We will have to take out the carpet and dump it I'm afraid as I don't think you can get rid of that smell. My hubby was feeling a bit woozy on the drive home in it as the fumes seem strong. It will be his vehicle as he has a real old truck and wants to get rid of that soon. We also did our taxes and I just have to finish them up. I really hate doing taxes every year and wish the government would make it easier instead of these blasted forms and itemized deductions, etc. every year!

My son's school has winter break and conferences this week so he is at Grandma's for a day or two so I get a little break which is nice. I'll go to the gym tomorrow and wt watchers, finalize the taxes and clean house (can't wait!). Just kidding, I hate cleaning house but it's getting real grubby around here. Sorry, just boring old news today.

I hope everyone is having a good week!

Devil vs. the Angel

Sometimes, it feels like a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angel on the other. These are things I say to myself. Maybe you can recognize similar things in yourself?

The devil says "you know you can't reach your goal, you haven't so far, go ahead and eat the candy" and "who cares what you eat, it will taste so good and make you feel good" or "you know you want that pizza, or fries or ..." or even worse "your getting older" or "your ugly". The angel fights back with "this is just a little blip in the road, you have lost the most wt you ever have this past year, keep going" or "just eat healthy for today, and it will make you feel good" or "work out and push yourself, you know it will make you feel better" and "you are looking so much better than you used to getting those 40 pounds off" and "keep going, these baby steps will pay off over time and you can get to goal if you really put your mind to it!"
I think we are our own worse critic and I'm trying to let the angel win out and hear the positive comments. Usually I can do this but then the old devil pops in with his negative comments but I refuse to listen to them now. It is doing me no good.

On the exercise front it is going well, I'm going to try to get in 5 workouts this week. I started on Monday and got in 3 so far. I'm doing an hour of cardio most days (walking, jogging and elliptical machine) and then 1/2 of weight training on a few days a week. I think I will start swimming again on Friday as that is a light day at the pool. I want to start biking again but get bored easily on the stationary ones. I would like to try a spinning class. Has anyone tried one? What did you think? I love to bike outside but not in winter. When spring comes we have a great trail we do that is up to 16 miles.

I am thankful today that my Mom made it back safe from her trip to Argentina and Antartica. She was on this cruise boat and hit a hurricane type storms and 60 foot waves. The furniture was flying all over the boat, even pianos and doors. The windows were getting blown out and water coming in. She said she knows what it feels like to be on the Titanic, she was really scared for her life. They can't figure out why the captain didn't delay the trip as a storm warning was in effect. She thinks he had major pressure from the travel company to stay on schedule but jeez the risk he took as the boat wasn't as seaworthy as it could have been. My mom loves to travel to unique and far away places but we worry about her sometimes and on this trip we didn't hear from her for 2 1/2 weeks due to no email access and that was hard.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good week and I am doing a lot better and the one day at a time approach is working for now. It seems the scale is moving down about 2 pounds so I'm hoping I can keep it that way.

Ouch...that hurts!

I decided to finally go to wt watchers and weigh in today. I haven't been in a few weeks and before that I would go but not weigh in and take the easy way out. I will rip this band aid off real quick as it will be quick and painless....UP 9 Pounds! Ouch, that is painful! I don't think I've weighed in since the beginning of January. It was a lot higher than I thought it would be but I knew it would be quite a bit. As much as I hate to go out of onederland, I have to face reality and I am up 10 total pounds from my lowest (of 198) in December. I need to quit avoiding the scale and wallowing in my unhappiness and do something about it. It is amazing how quick I can gain and how slow it is to lose sometimes but at least I've stopped the madness for now. I still have a ways to go in dealing with this SAD or winter depression/blues but I am working on it.

The good news is that I'm back on program today and exercising and eating pretty good. I feel like it could be a good wt loss week (I hope) and get a big loss and take a chunk out of that gain. My short term goals are to work out at least 4 times per week and that shouldn't be a problem and to stay on the ww flex pts program. My long term goal is to lose these 10 lbs by the end of March as we are going to Vegas then. If I can lose more and get to -50 that would be great. And a little longer term goal is to get to at least -52 or more by May 1st as that will be a year from when I started this journey. I guess I am thinking of that # because it would be 52 wks in a year and get an average of a pound a week and that would be nice. I know that some people think you should put a date to lose a certain # of pounds by but I feel it will help me at this point. If I don't make the goal, it will be ok too but at least I have something to work toward these next few months.

Did you ever see that movie 'What about bob?' Funny movie. In the movie the therapist gets Bob to do baby steps to get his goals accomplished. That's how I am right now, baby steps to the gym, baby steps by eating salad, baby steps by just looking at today for now and trying to be as healthy as I can. I'm hoping one day will turn into 2 days on program and then a week and then a month. I'm going to try not to be as strict as I had been last year and maybe slow down the rate at which I lose and ease up a bit as I feel that maybe the way I was doing it set me up for a binge.

The ww meeting today was about heart disease. She made it fun and it was a game of jeopardy and we answered questions about heart disease and we did really well. It helped me to bring focus to my main reason for losing weight. Not too look better and feel better though they are very important, it is for my health!! She said that if you are in the overweight range that you are doubling your risk for heart disease and if you are even heavier it is quadrupled. Yikes, hadn't heard it put like that before and it gave me a renewed focus for trying to live a healthy life. Also, the meetings help me a lot and I have support there with the ladies and with the leader if I need it, so I have to remember that and to keep on going matter what.

I really appreciate all of you that commented on my blog recently. It helps to hear words of understanding or encouragement and to hear what wt loss struggles that you have been through too! We all will go through ups and downs on our wt loss journeys, I think there is no way around it. Thank you so much and I hope everyone has a good week.

Rock Bottom

Ok, I admit it. I've hit rock bottom, hit a real low point. I didn't want to make this the wt gain blog or the negative, pessimistic blog but I gotta write what I feel. I fell off the wagon big time. He#l I can't even catch up to the wagon matter how hard I run after it. It's like I've jumped off the high dive in the pool only to find no water at the bottom. I'm laying there thinking "how the heck am I gonna get up, now I'm down and out?". My rationality was that I would eat some crap food and then it would be out of my system. So I had the terriyaki, the chinese, the burgers w/ fries, the taco's w/ mexi fries, the ice cream, the cinnamon roll, etc., etc.....but the real low felt like yesterday. The choice was go to the gym, go to the bookstore or go get some Pad Thai noodles. The noodles won out as I said to myself "you haven't had these in months and you know you want some!" I was eating them and I wasn't even hungry and got sad. This is past food enjoyment, is this punishing myself or what? It's strange to think I used the food to block out bad feelings about some things in my life. Numb myself with food. This is scary territory. I know it's not the lowest I've been. That would be last year in April when I hit 246 and felt real bad about how I looked. So for 8 months I was good, I was on the straight and narrow and eating well week after week with hardly any slip ups. Then when xmas came, I went off program. At first just a little, then down the slippery slope to the bottom. It's not just all about the food, I have other issues in my life and one or two bad thing seems to make my good intention and progress in my wt loss go by the wayside. My wt is fluctuating wildly from up 5 pounds, then down 3, then up, then down. Anyway, just wanted to get this all out and tell you why I haven't been blogging as often. So many of you are doing so well out there and thought I could just get myself out of this but it feels like depression.

The good news is today, I started anew again. I ate right, I exercised for an hour and 1/2. I'm feeling pretty good today compared to yesterday. My goals for next week, starting on Monday I will exercise 5 days per week and I will detoxify as far as eating natural foods and lean meats and quit the processed crap. I'll take it easy this weekend but I do have some social stuff with going out to this adult bowling center w/ 5 other couples. No kids allowed for this and my sister is going to watch my son for the night so that will be nice to have some fun time. Then the super bowl on Sunday but I'm not that into it but it usually involves eating something fattening. I'm off to take my son to a carnival night at his school. Should be fun for him. Everyone have a good week!