I just started to think of my self esteem and body image and this made me think of all these years I've been hiding under this layer of fat. Not many guys will look at a chubby woman compared to a thin one. I've stayed under the radar. But, there are occasional times when a guy will look or talk to me. I remember when I was thin and I got a lot more attention, and sometimes I didn't like it. Of course, I have the attention of the man I care most about, my husband but when he compliments me I'm thinking "he's just saying that to make me feel good" or when we get some quality time "is he checking out my fat tummy or chubby thighs". Arrggghhhg....I really am sick of being down on myself about my size and how it affects my personal relationships and just going out and doing all that I want to do.
In other news, I have been exercising a lot but I still continue to make some undesirable food choices. What am I stuffing down? What emotion? I need to find a way to deal with it and it continues to elude me, this issue with food. Why can it not just be sustenance. Why can't I eat to live instead of living to eat???? The million dollar question I suppose.
Well, we are off to a kids bday party at a play place so that will be fun for my son and then maybe out to dinner or something. I'm starting my tri training and I'll talk more about it later. I'm determined not to be in last place at the danskin tri!!! I hope everyone is having a good week!!