Saturday, May 05, 2007

cancer puts things into perspective

Thanks for the comments yesterday. I have days when I'm down about things and then the next it is good. I think it's just a part a life, the ups and downs. Generally, I feel pretty good about my life and even the past, I've moved on and forgiven and try to forget the past and some bad times we went through. I really haven't shared all the pain and trials we went through. But it is best to look to the future, we have so much to look forward to together.

My friend, Dawn, called me yesterday and it really helped me put perspective on things. To quit thinking about all the crap in my life and in my mind. I sent her a really heartfelt letter about how I felt about her and afraid to lose her to cancer and sent her this little book called 'friends are like sisters'. She was calling me to thank me and we talked for a while about me coming down there in a week and then she drops her bombshell. All this double dose of chemo she is doing is not helping the cancer or shrinking it. She actually got news that there is a new spot on her liver. This is bad, really bad. She will get more tests, an ultrasound, a cat scan and then maybe some radiation to the spot. I know she is depressed about this, how can you not be. It is weird but as I started to feel stressed about what she was saying, I was thinking, 'I need to eat something'. God, I really need to deal with this stress = food connection. I mean it puts perspective on my life too. She is fighting for her life!!! I'm just fighting my fat!!!

The good news if there is any is she is off her chemo for now and is looking forward to me visiting and feeling ok. We will go to Margaritaville/Jimmy Buffett's place for drinks and dinner and maybe she will invite another lady too. And then we will hang by the pool on a different day. I would love to go to a comedy club but don't know if we'll fit that in. I can tell she's looking forward to it and hasn't had much fun in her life lately. I just have to be there for her and listen. There really is no advice to give. She tells me of a new herbal remedy made from tumeric and how her sister sent her a bottle cause it cured some guys cancer her sister knows. A guy that is fighting pancreatic cancer which is a nasty one and that is still alive and credits this herb. She will try this but it sounds like you need high doses of it so we'll see how that goes. It does have side effects like blood thinning and can make you feel nautious. I know she wants hope so she will try it. I said run it by the doctor. Especially since she may have radiation in the near future.

Anyway, not that this is of interest you, me talking about cancer. But, writing this down and all my other thoughts really does help me. Sometimes, I feel I put down on paper what others would not do. It's too personal. I mean this is supposed to be a wt loss blog but I can't just keep it to that though that is usually the focus. And our own blogs are just that. Our blogs! A place where we can let it loose. It seems easier than a journal and a side benefit is all the bloggers I get to meet. Thanks for being there!

I hope you are all having a good weekend. I'm off to a play called 'Edward Scissorhands' today. I saw the movie years ago and interested to see how that will be translated into a singing play.


Chris H said...

Firstly, I am sorry for your friend, fighting cancer must be so scary. Secondly, I agree about your comment "this is my blog"... I feel like I am just yabbering on about my life in general 99% of the time instead of about my weight loss, but it seems to be interesting to a few! And it is great to be able to de-stress by writing it all down, and it's a great way to keep a journal of your life - with pictures even! I hope your weekend is going good.

Christine said...

I am there with you - my god daughter was diagnoised with Leukemia a year ago - she was only 1 1/2 years old at the time. She is still fighting - chemo every month. My blog was meant to be a weight loss blog as well - but I do feel better after I empty my brain too - I figure if people don't want to read - then they won't. I really do find blogging very good for the soul. :) Take care.

Wanna_B_slim said...

I get bored if all i read is about battles with weightloss.. so by all means plz bog about whatever you like.. I thoroughly enjoy every bit of it!!!
I am sending you the biggest of internet hugs I can muster and can you plz pass it on to your friend when you see her... I can only begin to understand what she is going through. Take care and have a good time with your friend.. and treasure it... Hugs Nannette

Briony said...

You're right, this is YOUR blog and you can write whatever you want. I love reading your blog, you're so honest and I admire that in anyone. It really helps to write things down. I'm sure that your friend will really appreciate you spending time with her, even though I know it will be hard for you. I hope you have a fabulous time and can fit in some laughs and a lot of smiles and hugs, along with the tears, which will only be natural. I'm sending you all my positive vibes for strength to get you through this hard time. Make sure you take lots of photos so that you both have them to look at and smile because you know you were having such a great time with your friend and that you both really enjoy yourselves.
Do something silly, like go into one of those photo booths and take photos of you with funny faces, it will make you both laugh and relax and they say laughter is THE best medicine. Thinking of you, big hugs,

Spider said...

Good luck to your friend, my prayers are with her and her family. You sound very strong. You need that strength and peace of mind to give your friend the love and support that she needs when you see her.

"The Captain" said...

Thanks for posting on my site.
You really post from the heart.

celtic_girl said...

Hugs for your friend and I hope everything goes well for her, She is lucky to have a friend like you Angel. Also re your comments on on your blogging, you are right this is your blog and we are the privedged people you are sharing your inner most thoughts with you - it is never boring.