cancer puts things into perspective

Thanks for the comments yesterday. I have days when I'm down about things and then the next it is good. I think it's just a part a life, the ups and downs. Generally, I feel pretty good about my life and even the past, I've moved on and forgiven and try to forget the past and some bad times we went through. I really haven't shared all the pain and trials we went through. But it is best to look to the future, we have so much to look forward to together.

My friend, Dawn, called me yesterday and it really helped me put perspective on things. To quit thinking about all the crap in my life and in my mind. I sent her a really heartfelt letter about how I felt about her and afraid to lose her to cancer and sent her this little book called 'friends are like sisters'. She was calling me to thank me and we talked for a while about me coming down there in a week and then she drops her bombshell. All this double dose of chemo she is doing is not helping the cancer or shrinking it. She actually got news that there is a new spot on her liver. This is bad, really bad. She will get more tests, an ultrasound, a cat scan and then maybe some radiation to the spot. I know she is depressed about this, how can you not be. It is weird but as I started to feel stressed about what she was saying, I was thinking, 'I need to eat something'. God, I really need to deal with this stress = food connection. I mean it puts perspective on my life too. She is fighting for her life!!! I'm just fighting my fat!!!

The good news if there is any is she is off her chemo for now and is looking forward to me visiting and feeling ok. We will go to Margaritaville/Jimmy Buffett's place for drinks and dinner and maybe she will invite another lady too. And then we will hang by the pool on a different day. I would love to go to a comedy club but don't know if we'll fit that in. I can tell she's looking forward to it and hasn't had much fun in her life lately. I just have to be there for her and listen. There really is no advice to give. She tells me of a new herbal remedy made from tumeric and how her sister sent her a bottle cause it cured some guys cancer her sister knows. A guy that is fighting pancreatic cancer which is a nasty one and that is still alive and credits this herb. She will try this but it sounds like you need high doses of it so we'll see how that goes. It does have side effects like blood thinning and can make you feel nautious. I know she wants hope so she will try it. I said run it by the doctor. Especially since she may have radiation in the near future.

Anyway, not that this is of interest you, me talking about cancer. But, writing this down and all my other thoughts really does help me. Sometimes, I feel I put down on paper what others would not do. It's too personal. I mean this is supposed to be a wt loss blog but I can't just keep it to that though that is usually the focus. And our own blogs are just that. Our blogs! A place where we can let it loose. It seems easier than a journal and a side benefit is all the bloggers I get to meet. Thanks for being there!

I hope you are all having a good weekend. I'm off to a play called 'Edward Scissorhands' today. I saw the movie years ago and interested to see how that will be translated into a singing play.