Orcas

Orcas, Orcas, everywhere! I don't know what this means but I'm seeeing and hearing about Orca whales everywhere. Maybe it's because I feel like one at times?

First, I bought a wooden orcas/wind toy at the fair last week. My mother lives on Whidbey Island and they get a lot of wind so she likes those things you put up that move in the wind. Then my son got an orca toy, then I saw something about them on tv. Lastly, but not least, there is a man that goes to the gym, think he works there and he is a man with down's syndrome. I haven't talked to him before but saw him interact with the homeschool kids that have PE at the gym and the other day he was outside. He said to me "I'm going to see the Orcas!" "I'm going to Oregon and get to stay overnight!" "I'm going to see the Orcas and other stuff!" He was so excited so I stopped and talked for him a bit and said I had seen some humpback whales in Hawaii and other types of whale and that it was exiting. I continue on, still hearing him talk about the Orcas. What does this mean? Should I go look at Orcas? They are up and around Whidbey and the San Juans and used to see them from time to time when I would go out on my dad's fishing boat. They kind of freak you out a little if they come by the boat. Maybe I've seen too many movies about whales going under boats. Or, maybe this means I need to spend more time in the Sea or scuba diving. It's something I miss a lot and life seems a little dimmer without this hobby in my life.

Not really thinking about regrets, just life paths. I think, if I were a man in this life I would have been a person studying sea life or traveling the world teaching scuba diving or trying to make a life by taking picture undersea photos. Or even working on a research vessel (in calmer waters!). I definitely have or did have the wanderlust to travel and just keep traveling when I was younger. I still have it inside but I quelled that to settle down and work on the marriage and have a family. But, sometimes I get that gnawing feeling and I want to get out and see new things. But I quell it, I have responsibilities. I don't know, when I got into scuba we already were married and it is harder for a woman to go it alone in scuba and travel. There is so many things you need to worry about and number one is safety. Not that I wouldn't travel alone. I have gone on a scuba vacation on my own when my hubby couldn't go. Though it's not my favorite thing to do alone and is harder at times, it is really neat to meet new people from other parts of the world. To stay at a local place and not an upscale resort and really get to know the people. That is awesome! The problem with trying to make a living in the scuba field is it is hard to make money. That is one of the reason we got out of it. Sometimes, I wish I had asked a bank or my dad for some $ backing and opened up a scuba store and taught as a couple. We never did do that much and that was the dream. We did teach a little bit together in Hawaii but it was more if he got busy I would take the people out in the ocean to finish up the open water dives. I guess I'm feeling a little out of sorts today and thinking about all the things I still want to do in this life.

In other news, I'm still exercising but haven't cured my cravings for the fat food! Just making some wrong choices, not a lot of food just not the best food for me. So, that's the order of the day, eating healthy.

I was at the book store the other day and read a bit more from the "best life" book by Bob Greene. The third tough question to ask yourself (that I couldn't remember, see post about wt loss books) is 'why haven't I been able to maintain my weight loss'. I'm not really thinking about now at this point, though I haven't gained it all back but other times in my life. I've gotten down to 160's, 170's and then blimp up again. Especially after having my son. It is something I need to think about more. Why am I holding myself back? It's not the food it's something inside, feeling I'm not dealing with or what? Not sure. Do you know your reason if this is a concern for you?? I really don't think it's as simple as liking food. It's not the reason for me. Yeah, it could be the former alcoholic dad. The not getting enough attention when I was young. The people who hurt me over the years. But, you know, it's time to put that aside and deal with the weight once and for all. I'm the one in control of my body, well at least I hope so. Ha ha!

Have a great week!

UPDATE: It's my 1 year wt watchers anniversary!! One year of trying to live healthy. Was down -48 but now it's more like -30. I really didn't do wt watchers much since January but maybe in the future. Oh well, I hope to have a good year and next May 1 be at the healthy weight I want to be!!