Monday, August 21, 2006
obsessed with surfing wt loss sites
It seems, I've become obsessed with surfing the net, and specifically have been spending a good deal of time reading wt loss stories on blog, ww community site and others. Maybe I'm getting too obsessive about this weight loss journey. It is giving me positive reinforcement and getting me to stay on track but sometimes I think that I'm spending too much time on it and getting too gung ho and driving some others around me crazy w/ the wt loss talk. On another note, slept a few hrs tonight, started surfing and came across to ladies and some of their great posts about wt loss issues (big ass belle and sara). Made me think about my own issued with food and why I have let this weight creep on for 15 yrs. Started out with just 20 lbs and then turned into 100 or more pds. Realized this time need to deal with my wt once in for all as I'm very unhappy about it. I'm real tired of the negative self dialogue in my head. I remember what it used to be like when I was young and carefree and not negative about myself. I look back and remember that girl, she wasn't bad looking, maybe need to work on her self esteem but she looked good. I'm older and wiser now and now that I'm a mommy, I don't want the same fate for him. The obesity, the negative self thoughts, the hatred or depression that this can cause. The wt loss yo yo has to stop! I can't live like this anymore and won't do it. Self-love is a hard thing. Add in an overweight person and it seems even harder to love myself. This affect everything I do from work and going back to school to my personal relationships. I've turned this ship around from going straight to having health issues from this wt gain and there's no going back. Healthy and active is what I'm aiming for and here's to liking myself again! Now, need to get some sleep, bye.