Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tired of it all

Tired of it all! This is a comment I keep hearing from my hubby about his work at the moment. And I was thinking....this has been my mindset lately too. The school is tiring, the work is tiring, and there is not many moments of happiness as of late. I think winter bums me out too here in Wash. we get lots of gray know what do they call it.....SAD disorder. I think I've just been too busy and not really enjoying life as's just what I have to go through at the moment.

And of course, one of the things that brings me down is my weight and lack of controlling it. I was just making the rounds of blog of what I can fit in with this darn school schedule and studying and as I go to the weight loss bloggers I realize that I really have not been a wt loss blogger in a long, long time. But, I am still really unhappy with my weight. I've used stress and school and no time as a excuse to not try anymore, just keep the status quo and not gain. It just is so much easier to do. But, I'm tired of the nagging thoughts daily about how I look in these jeans, and who I have to see that hasn't seen me in a while and what they think of me at my larger size. I went to see some friends Friday night and I hate being one of the largest in the room. A few of my friends are skinny and happy and looking so good....and I think, where did I take a wrong turn. When did I let life's downs or just boredom cause me to soothe myself with food. The emotional eater.....that is me. I'm not talking huge quantities of food....just some of the wrong foods and over time it all adds up. How did I equate eating with joy. Where did my joy go? Sure, I have moments with my family and I feel happy but I'm not happy with myself. And if you are not happy with yourself.....are you really loving yourself? I don't know....just pondering things today and didn't get all the sleep I need. Things to think about....thinking I need to retry the healthy living thing and get back with the exercise.....This vacation is just around the corner and I'm tired of not wanting to get in my swimsuit! yuck, yuck but I do it anyway.

It should be a wakeup call to get put on blood pressure meds. My BP isn't really that high and I was prob. on the meds six months and lately I've been getting these bad night sweats where you wake up and just start sweating. So first though is, early menopause. Naw!!! too young for that. Then, I thought, it's the darn BP meds. So I went off of them and presto, no more sweats. I shouldn't have gone cold turkey but I feel like the side effects outweigh the meds. So, I'm monitoring the BP and will decide if I need to try another. Yeah, should be a big wakeup call for me to lose weight once and for all. I want to be around a long time for my family!

Tell me how you are all doing out in there in blogland! I haven't had much time and what time I do have I'm trying to spend with my family. Looking forward to Thanksgiving and being with extended family here soon and a short respite from school.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

dreaming of christmas

Dreaming of Christmas.....cause this is where I will be for xmas this year. I didn't know for sure if we were going the caribbean due to the economic situation but we've been planning this thing for over a year now, so it's a go. The whole family is going....parents, sisters and their families. You can't believe how much I'm looking forward to this. We are going on the southern route and damn right I will be taking lots of photos!! I hope I'm able to do some scuba but we'll see what happens. The only thing I don't have is some nicer clothes as we have to dress up from time to time for dinner. Not really my thing.....but everyone else is going to I suppose.
It's one of the very few things that is keeping me going on these last few weeks and feeling a bit down as I'm getting burned out from school and work. There is light at the end of the tunnel. This will be so awesome to have a warm Christmas now that the weather is cold here.
Other than that, not much happening but having homework, tests, papers and the like. We also have to do a group project in one of my classes where we do a skit or game show. So not looking forward to that! Also, looking forward to getting together with old friends in Seattle area next weekend. It's been a long time for a girls night out.
I'll get around to blogs here soon......seems like I never have enough time to be a part of the blogworld lately and I miss it sometimes. Hope you are all doing well!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Sorry, been busy

Sorry I haven't been around blogland much at all. Miss you guys though!!! It is this school, this has become my most challenging quarter, I think. I just had to put my nose to the grindstone and get all the papers and presentations done and that doesn't leave me much time for play or for blogging. Yeah, I know you are all right....I need to stick this radiology thing out and get my degree. They push me to the edge and I can't say I'm happy these days...but I know I will get through it. I do have a lot of inner strength and these wenches (ha teachers) can't take that away from me. One step at a time and try to smile while gritting my teeth.

I did have fun at our mini high school reunion and got to see some old friends as well as the old boyfriends, ha! I am still friends with the exes. Not that we socialize much but if we see each other we always have something to say. We had about 70 people show up....think we had about 300 plus grads.

We had a good night of trick r treating last son was cute, he was a clone trooper from Star Wars and got tons of candy with some of his friends. I was surprised how many parents were out in their driveways handing out candy and some had just the candy out and tried to scare us. (here's his pic)

Other than that, not much to say at the moment....gotta go spend some quality time with the hubby....think he's feeling neglected cause I'm always busy. Better give him some TLC.

Hope to visit your blogs here soon. Take care and thanks for commenting.