Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Feeling good then not....


Was feeling good about things and about the race and maybe future races and then the lady I did this race with sent me this,

"Hey Pat,

I am very proud of you for sticking with it and going the distance! It was fun to do the Danskin with you and I will do it again next year if you and anyone else wants too. Now your test is how to get in exercise and do school all day too. Even if you have to walk briskly, rain or shine, at your lunchtime make sure you get some exercise each day. Maybe pick one night a week and the weekends to go to the Y. What times will you have to go to school each day and also drop off and pick up Chase? It's going to be a challenge but you have to make your health a priority. Don't eat all that crappy cafeteria or fast food either. Take a healthy lunch with you. And dump the soda crap, diet or no diet it ain't healthy! Fill up a big water bottle each day and take it with you. :o)

Talk to you later,"

Started out good but.....Ok, what you have to know about our friendship is that she always tried to up-one me. Ya know, she is better than me at this sport, she is better than me on the tennis team. Things had gotten better but she always is the kind of friend to offer advice when you don't want it. I responded with:

"Hi Kath,
Yeah, will think of doing the race next year or maybe others too. It was hard but so worth it. I know you mean well and want the best for me as far as fitness and getting to a healthy weight. I think that preparing for this tri and losing weight for the last 15 months has given me a good base. I am keeping up the Y workout and will work it into school somehow. I have tuesdays off and think a shorter day on Fridays so I will get it in. It is touchy to talk to someone of their weight or fitness as I well know. So for Yvette, I think her hubby is trying to encourage her as he is a personal trainer now. She was reading a 'abs diet' book or something he recommended. But, as I well know, the person has to be ready to change. And, it is only up to them and well meaning advice by family can help but hurt too."

She had been talking in a previous email about a friend of ours 'yvette' and how unhealthy she looked. She is in my flickr. photo page in vegas. I don't know, it's just that I was feeling good and then she brings me down a peg. I hate that I asked her to do this with me. Ok no, that's going to far, I'm just pissed after decades of motherly advice from her. Once in a while I call her on it and she quits for a while. She acts like my mother and believe you me, she is not kind like my mother. And then she must wonder why none of our other friends from high school like her. She is so judgemental of everyone. I never give her advice on her life and she is not perfect. I know she does this as her mother is the king or giving advice so I cut her a break and continue on with the friendship. We have known each other since we were born! Ok, vent over, thanks for listening! I prob. shouldn't blog when I'm upset as tomorrow will be different.

I want to thank all you bloggers out there for your kind words about my race. I really appreciate all the support. Hopefully, I will be on to talk of other wt loss things now and get busy with getting some wt loss progress.

Here is an article about working out while overweight. I like what they said here:

'The fact is that if you're very overweight and out of shape, you're likely going to face some obstacles--both physically and mentally--that will challenge you in every possible way.But I can tell you this: These obstacles are not just obstacles to exercise--they are the same challenges that stand between you and the life you want for yourself.'

It's at:


Here is one final photo of me and my son at the end of the race. I looked tired and was and looks like I'm gasping for breath. Ha! We'll see what tomorrow's weigh in brings. Seems like I'm retaining water so I will drink a lot of H2O today. I want to push myself further and further as I want to see what more my body can do as far as exercise.


Chris H said...

Oh yeah, we all need friends like her... NOT !

Marshmallow said...

Heck! If I had received an email like that from a friend, I would be PISSED as hell! Have you told her about how these emails make you feel? I would not stand for it - she's all preachy and really has no right, I would make my feelings known. She also has very little business in commenting about Yvette's health as well.

We all know how hard you've been working!

Meow Meow said...

struggling with friends over any issue can be a pian in the rear. I'm not sure if it's a competitive thing, a desire to out do, or just plain bossyness....

Friends especially as we get older can be tough as to not hurt the other one in any way shape of form. [hugs}

We are ALL PROUD of you!

Christine said...

Friends = support. That email would have got a harsher response from me. You were very careful with your words and said it quite polite. Make sure to be proud of yourself! The fact that you took part in this is HUGE! Not everyone has the courage or the balls! You inspired me for sure.

I "had" a friend who was this supportive as well. Why do people need to bring other people down to make them feel good. Surround yourself with supportive vibes.

Anonymous said...

Wow - I have never received an email like that before. I have never said anything bad about other friends and none of my friends have EVER gossiped about a mutual friend. We have only been supportive of each other.

You need to dump her. Or, just don't answer back anymore.


Spidey said...

You look good! Did your son run the race with you?

I had a really good friend who was similar to your friend. He was always a bit better than I in every sport and he was always giving me advice on everything and he tended to presume that he was always smarter too.

Sadly, after we were both married the time to hang out disappeared and since the respective wives did not like each other we ended up no longer being friends.

So even if your friend is a bit annoying, you should look at whatever her good points are. You have been friends for a long time and good friends are hard to find, even if they are not great friends.