Friday, August 31, 2007

Good news and bad news

First, the good news, I lost 2.5 pounds this week! Granted it was a little longer week for me with weighing in on a Friday instead of Wednesday but I was showing the loss earlier in the week too. So that brings me down to 205.5. Maybe I do have a shot of getting to this elusive 199 again. ha! I wasn't bad in vegas and didn't snack at all. I did have a few drinks but mainly ate healthy and not a lot so I was happy with that.

The bad news is this was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I went to visit my friend Dawn who is at the end of her cancer battle. She was able to talk to me but she is hopped on on meds and sleeps most of the time. She has the yellow look in her eyes and skin and I think it's from her liver starting to fail as that's where the cancer has progressed to. I tried to get some laughs out of her and succeeded a bit. I tried to play her some of her favorite music, Jimmy Buffet songs but she told be she wasn't interested in that. She told me she wasn't interested in anything. She said she can't concentrate on anything and things are just a jumble in her head. It's to be expected as they got her on all these meds and some strong main medicine in her arm. At least I could be beside her and help her. I hurt me to hear her lament on that she felt like a burden and that everyone was coming down and just waiting on her, working. I tried to ease her concerns and told her I loved her and that we wanted to help her at her time of need.

I got a chance to get to know her father better as he was visiting from Wisconsin and to get to know her mother in law who is staying helping out with dawn's 10 year old daughter. Dawn used to talk to me of her fears of the mother in law (MIL for short) moving in when she got really ill. It seems the MIL will move to a house nearby soon. I think it's good for the daughter of course I don't know this lady well. Dawn thinks she is too into money and trying to find a man with money. Anyway, the son is like that (dawn's hubby) so I can see how he got that way. I mean he is all about making the money and about status with money. Almost sickening, I meaning the admiration that for people 'who have made it in life'. I look more at the quality of person, not how much money they have. Anyway, the MIL, she seems like she loves her granddaughter and that's what's important at this time. Think all their problems are water under the bridge at this point. I was happy to see that her hubby, Victor, is stepping up to the plate and being there for her now that she's ill. He hasn't always been there for her in the past.

It was hard to be there when the priest from the catholic church came to do a blessing on dawn. It involves us all laying a hand on Dawn and praying for her and doing some prayers. The tears were a flowing as it just makes you really think about what is happening to her. I look into her eyes and still see her but a different version of who she was. It is very sad but I hope she can have peace at the end. She seems like she has it somewhat now. I don't have it yet, it will be some time till I can really feel at peace about losing her.

Anyway, that's all I got to say today. I'll be by to check out your blog here soon but I came home to a pigpen of a house. The laundry piled up, the dishes piled up, nothing done. My hubby was living like a piggy since I was gone! So I've been busy trying to clean up a bit. Then, we need to go to the cabin tonight to be with my son and try to have a nice last weekend of summer before school starts.

Oh, yeah. I ended up staying at a the flamingo hotel in vegas due to being no room at Dawn's house due to visitors so I got a funky room done up in pink neon and white. I will share pictures later. I especially liked the mirror in the bathroom which had a tv built into it! Hope everyone has a good weekend!


B said...

First of all congratulations on eating well while you were away, especially when you were so stressed. Great loss this week. You will be at 199 before you know it at this rate.
I feel so sad about what's happening to Dawn, it sounds like the meds she is on are taking the edge off for her and its so special that you have been there for her during this very difficult time. You are a very strong woman and I really admire that in you. I guess the best we can hope for now is a calm and peaceful passing for your beautiful friend Dawn. You and she are in my thoughts constantly at the moment. I wish there was something more I could to to help. Big hugs honey.

Christie said...

Thanks for coming by my blog today Patty. Sounds like your trip was rough and I'm sorry that you have to go through such an emotional time. I say again that what you are doing for her is an amazing thing.

I think it's phenomenal that while going through all that you were still able to eat healthy and remember your goals. I am so, so proud of you.

Chris H said...

So very sad about Dawn, I hope her passing is easy for her.... woo hoo on a loss this week for you too .... chin up and hope your weekend is pleasant.

Kim said...

Congrats on the big loss!! That is wonderful news, and I know how happy you must be to see those numbers moving. :)

As hard as it was to see Dawn in her condition, I am so happy that you were there to spend time with her. I know that she felt your love and was comforted by your being there.

Anonymous said...

hi Patty,

well done on staying strong and being able to share your feelings with Dawn, i think it's important to say what needs to be said, even if it's the most difficult thing you feel you will ever do.

great loss and you will be in onederland before you know it.

take care

pastgirl said...

Congrats on the loss, for being there and for being strong for Dawn. Although difficult, going to be with her was such a caring thing for you to do.

Living to Feel Good said...

Congrats on your loss. Well done especially with all that's going on.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It's so hard when someone you love is suffering. My great aunt just died 2 weeks ago. It was very sad as she was basically a living corpse literally. I couldn't visit her because I didn't want that image in my head, and she didn't know who any of us were. I think it's awesome and brave of you to be there for your friend. I think that's very rare in a friend to find, such a special person like you!!

Living to Feel Good said...

PS Can't wait for the flamingo pics. I miss vegas!

Tully said...

That just sounds heartbreaking. I can just imagine how scared Dawn must be to leave her young daughter and not be there for her anymore. It makes you hug your own family that much tighter!

Good work on continuing to lose despite all this. You have a lot of strength.

Big hugs.

celtic_girl said...

WOOHOO on the 2.5lb loss.

Yes I can imagine the trip to Vegas would have bee difficult for you,but I'm sure Dawn received much comfort from having her best friend there.

Christine said...

Holy cow girl! I am so proud of you! That's a great loss. I have not been on track for the entire week - and I think that I will just pretend this whole week didn't happen.

My thoughts and prayers are with your friend Dawn. Such tough times - but be thankful that you can be with her in these days.

Spidey said...

You are a very strong person. You are a great friend. God Bless you and Dawn and your families. I am praying for all of you.

Wanna_B_slim said...

I would love to have you as a friend like Dawn has in you... You are a very special person. I hope she just slips away peacfully.. Cruel just waiting to die..
Take care and stay safe...

Spidey said...

Your blog was giving me a blank stare (no page) all of yesterday. I am glad to see you back, as you may be our big winner...

It may not be much of a prize, but a little good news is better than none?

Meow Meow said...

Good Lord you are still enjoying summer. I am a month into teaching at school.

I am really sorry about your friend. It has to be very painful to see someone you love in that much pain and disarray. I'll pray for both of you.
I know how hard it is to see my mom after 8 rounds of chemo. I really do understand your pain.

Hubby needs a good spanking. Make it a fun time!