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I had two days off of exercise on Friday and Saturday. I was feeling sick this weekend with bad headaches. I was at my dad's cabin on Saturday and Sunday and this cabin is an old cabin. I'm starting to think my headaches were related to that cabin as the headaches would start if I was inside for a long time like when we watched a video. Then the headache would ease up when I was outside for a long time. The cabin doesn't have gas as I was thinking carbon dioxide or something but we did used the indoor stove that night. Weird, but anyways it kept me from working out. I did do some biking on Sunday but the headaches wouldn't let up. Then I took a pill and we left for home and whala the headaches were gone. (I rarely get headaches and these felt like migraines, kind of like someone hammering in my head!) No headaches today so it's just weird! We'll see if I get the pain again as we are going down there this weekend.
It is nice to get away for a night or the day to this cabin. I meant to take a picture of it. The cabin is just an old money pit but the lake is nice and we can use the boat if we want. It gets to be a bit of mad house when a lot of people show up but we can use the trailer. It would be fun to put up a tent as my boy would love that so maybe we will.
I did get in 65 minutes of biking today on that country trail I showed pics of long ago.
Here's one:
I went a different route as I don't like biking the secluded part of the trail due to the 3 stooges. Think I wrote about them before. Look like country bumpkins who are homeless on bikes. They have harassed me in the past. I thought a chubby chick wouldn't get bothered but I did. It makes me wary. I saw women today on this part of the trail as I drove by and was thinking 'don't they ever get worried on this trail all alone?' I sure did when nasty guys start making suggestive comments. yuck. I just realized that being fat has often buffered me from guy's advances or comments and that is one plus to being overweight, ha!
Tomorrow I will swim and then run as that race is near and I want to be as ready as I can be. I'm still having some knee trouble after the biking. Think it is the patella-femular or something. Just below the knee cap but I'll do the best I can. I have been weight training and trying to build up that area but not helping much. My friend, Kathy, who is doing the race is also having knee trouble too. But, I have a feeling it won't slow her down any if she can help it!
On Friday as we were getting ready to go to the movie I get these conversations with myself.
Let's call them Angel and the Devil. Or the Thin me vs. the fat me.
Fat me: Let's have some popcorn and candy at the movies!
Thin me: You are doing so well lately, don't have any!
Fat me: You can afford to have some, your diet has been excellent!
Thin me: You don't want to undue all your hard work!
Fat me: It's just a little popcorn and candy, what harm can it do!
Thin me: Plenty of harm! You know that sometimes eating the fat food will send you into not caring at all and on to more fat food!
Fat me: You can work it off tomorrow!
Thin me: You are getting close to Onederland and leaving behind the 200's forever, why risk it?
Uggghhhh. I hate these kind of voices in my head. It is so hard to be totally on plan and strict cause then I get the little voice, "have some...." of whatever treat I'm craving. So I did cave and have some popcorn but no candy and didn't eat all the popcorn. I need treats once in a while as long as I am healthy the majority of the week. I just have to get over that guilty feeling if I indulge once in a while or have a higher fat dinner. (Had brats the other night!) It's just the way it is. I wish I could always eat salad with plain chicken or whatever but sometimes I want the good stuff. The mexican food, the thai food, or whatever. I just have to get that balance. I guess I have been getting the balance by exercising a lot and that enables me to maintain or lose a pound. So, I will keep plodding along.......why does it seem so hard some days?? It makes me think I still have a long way to go on beating my food demons and be able to lose and maintain a healthy weight, I think.
What are your thoughts out there in blogland on creating a healthy balance. Do you have it under control. Is it still really hard? What do you do to override the 'fat me' voice that wants what is not in the best interest of your healthy wt loss journey?
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10 comments:
OOOO that's creepy, I was just reading your blog when that email came in from you to me!!!!! Now, as for my operation, I'm having it in 10 days!!! Woo hoo, so I should know if I am dealing with anything 'sinister' after that.... fingers crossed it is all OK for sure! My low back ache is something I have always had immediately prior to TOM, so I'm not too worried about it being something else, but THANK YOU for being worried for me, that is so nice ! *BIG HUGS TO YOU*
I am jealous iof your cabin and the country trail. It looked so soothing....I want my own few acres of paradise!
I can agee getting away would have been a nice retreat.
Hope your head is feeling better.
Look to your voices as a positive,by talking to yourself it makes you think of the consequences and make a decision. I usually eat first and think later which is my main problem.
I read alot about the 80/20 rule. Be good 80% of the time and treat yourself 20%. I haven't been able to master that one. I find if I treat myself it only makes me want more, so I'm best not to have it at all.
I understand your concerns with exercising alone, I would't go anywhere secluded, unfortunately you just cant risk it nowadays.
The trails are just beautiful - and I understand the fear about going by yourself too. I couldn't and wouldn't.
The voices. They are there EVERYDAY, every minute of everyday. It's a life change and there is no way that its going to happen over night.
Hope the headaches are gone. I get migraines every now and then and they really shut me down to the world. It's not good at all and hope you are feeling better.
I totally deal with those inner voices too. Quite a lot. you found a really good way of putting it! Unfortunately I don't have much advice for how to get through that. I think just having it on your mind is a good first step. We may always have to battle those demons, but I think it does get easier.
Seeing that it is an old cabin on a lake, it quite likely has mold, which would totally cause headaches (and breathing problems). Take care.
Ah yes, the voices. What I find is that the Fat Me voice gets very crafty! She sounds like she's being all supportive, but what she's really doing is trying to lure you away like some kind of child snatcher with promises of candy and puppies. Stranger Danger!!! Just don't go there.
Oh, and the patella pain is likely caused by pushing too hard on the pedals of your bike. Ease up on the gears and try to "spin" a bit more (higher RPMs, lower gear). If you have clip in pedals, focus on a circular pedal stroke where you are pulling up as well as pushing down. Hope that helps.
I think we all get the voices. Hell I am almost at goal, and I still do. You know it's because we are aware that we want to change, and that's a good thing. Imagine what would happen if you never thought about it?
The headaches...I wonder if it was allergy related like all the dust in the cabin, and then we you are outside you can breath? And if your house has dust..you would be use to it compared to the different dust at the cabin?
I know when I went down to my parents cabin I would wake up in the middle of the night not able to breathe as if I was having an Asama attack or anxiety attack. There was no ventilation built into the cabin unless you open the windows. As dangerous as it may seem my parents would warm the cabin up with a stove which made my breathing worse.
I have some how master those voices out of my head. The only voices I hear are those that try to keep me out of trouble and sometimes I just don't listen to them, Like you can go into that building by your self you will be okay and what if they don't like me? I have chosen to go into the building and forget the evil "what if they don't like me
If I were you I would plant a tomatoe farm, and eat tomato worms like I do. Just kidding. It all sounds pretty like a tough decision. Hang in there, Captain Beware! I'm losing weight so fast. Off to the bat cave!
"The Captain"
finalfifty.com : Where immortals are entrenched in the thoughts of daydreams of caped crusaders as the bystanders look on with envy.
Sounds like you had cabin fever!!!
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