friends.....and weight loss strategies

Thanks everyone for weighing in on my dramas in my life!! Sometimes, when I don't get enough sleep I have a tendency to write a long post on the drivel in my life. But, today, I feel over it (well mostly) and feel pretty good. There are some things I would like to discuss with my hubby more and it will happen soon. Anyway, I don't really think I need therapy, you guys are my own dose of therapy and of course, my friends that I use as sounding boards once in a while.

I was thinking about friends. I used to make some new friends and then be disappointed when they didn't live up to what I expect out of friend. I treat them how I want to be treated. But, some people don't have the time to be a good friend or don't really do all the common courtesies that a real friend would. Ya know, call you back, don't back of of plans they made with you, make time for you. I think this is why I went back to some old friends from high school. About 2 years ago one of my good friends moved back to the area and wanted to started a girls group of our old friends. It has been great and usually get together once a month and once in a while I'll get together more with one or the other of them. It's just the distance. I moved like 1 hour south of Seattle and I'm way out here. I wish I could have a friend on a daily basis or at least weekly but it really doesn't happen except for phone and internet contact. I'm working on getting more friends in the area as it seems most my neighbors are retired and I don't have much in common with them though they are nice.

I think this is one of the problems my hubby has, making good friends. He doesn't keep in contact with friends from the past (from California) and he doesn't have that college base of friends. So, he gets them from work, or from the activities he is in. I feel for him though as it seems he has a hard time finding a good, dependable friend instead of a fair weathered or seasonal friend. So, I try to support him in this relationship with 'joe' and it is ok for him to be friends but not necessarily myself with 'joe'. I'm hoping we can find couple friends with kids!!! But it is so darn hard.

Ok, on to the diet talk. Just finished the 'beck diet solution'. I wasn't really following all the guidelines. I have a tendency to read every book out there and get something from it but then not follow the book to a T. But, I did get several good tips from the book. I refer to my 'reasons to lose weight' when I am feeling weak around food or my emotions are making me want to eat. I use the 'no choice' word in my head to not make that bad food choice. When I start to feel jealous of some food that someone else is having that is high-cal, I remind myself 'oh well, you can't eat like that at the moment, because you want to lose this weight more!' So it is working to some degree. Here's some quotes from the book:

'Once you recognize that food won't make your problems go away, dieting will be easier'
'Once I take steps to reduce my overall stress, dieting will be easier'
'Once I acept that exercise has to be a permanent part of my weight-loss program, dieting will be easier'

I really have accepted that exercise is necessary evil for wt loss success. I actually do enjoy it sometimes. Maybe not right when I'm breathing hard and sweating but after as I feel a sense of accomplishment or that exercise high.

Here's some problems/solution quotes in the book:
'recognize that you just don't have control - or not much control - over other people. The only one you really have control over is yourself. You can change your own thinking and behavior, but you can't necessarily change other people'

on hitting plateaus -
Sabotaging thought: This just isn't fair. I've really worked hard. I should keep losing like I have up until this point.
Helpful response: I have a choice now. I can dwell on how unfair it seems that the scale didn't go lower. Or I can focus on how much weight I've lost up to this pont and give myself credit for all of the changes I've made in my thinking and behavior so far.

Sabotaging thought: It's okay to skip exercising today because I don't want to, I'm tired, and I'm too stressed out.
Helpful response: It's not okay. Exercise is an essential part of losing weight and maintaining my weight loss.

Sabotaging thought: It's too much trouble to keep doing all these things.
Helpful response: Losing weight is very important to me. It does take effort to do these things, but the payoff is tremendous.

I thought I would share in case it helps out anyone else on their wt loss journey! I've made my 5 for 5 days of exercise and may even go for 6 today or tomorrow when I have more time. I've felt like a single parent all week so the hubby will have to take over some duties tomorrow. I need some 'me' time darnit! I am off now in a bit to help my sister celebrate her birthday today. She is 5 years older than me. I've also talked the other sister and 2 of her kids to come. We will go to Anthony's (a nice seafood restaurant). I have a plan, to have a salad or some other low cal entree and no cake if I can do it!!!!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.