Thursday, June 14, 2007

Negative's working for me

Usually negative motivation doesn't work for me. I'm all for the postive reinforcement. But, that being said, I had a comment yesterday from my ladies group, actually the one friend I was close to in high school and still sorta am. We were all talking of our marital woes as girls sometimes do and one in our group is getting divorce. So I was talking about my hubby and his triathalons and how I know he wants me to lose the lard and get in better shape like I was in our early days. So I say, "I will lose it" and she says something like "or you may not" and I said "oh yes, I will". It seems this friend has said this 2 times now. She doesn't acknowledge or compliment that I had lost 30 lbs this year. It's almost like she doesn't want me to lose the rest of it. Now, she is only about 20 lbs overweight. Maybe it's because she is a bit critical (her words) and is a realist. I have been yo yo ing around with my wt for years! (or maybe I need to limit my time with her.)

So, today, it fueled my fire. My fire to lose this fat! I ran farther and harder than I ever had and then went to yoga and more walking later. I'm kinda thinking "yeah, I'll show her". She'll have to eat her words!!! Then for more negative motivation (my own) I was in yoga and thinking, "damn, I'm the biggest in this class". That sucks. Then I thought, well most are 1/2 my age. But then I know the instructor has to be 45 or 50 and she looks dang good. So, I know it's just a excuse. Sometimes I see some chubby chicks at the gym but on the whole, most of them are already slim and trim and mostly young but a few older. I really admire the older ladies (and the younger too) with the trim bodies and just zooming around the indoor track. They inspired me to be better and it's what I want to be, to achieve. That slim, active body. I had it once and I remember how it felt. I am active now but it will be so much better when the outside shows how hard I'm working. I just have to be patient. As I was jogging around the track you can see your reflection in the windows and I am so critical. It's like "look at those thighs, look at the stomach, yeck!". I am my own worst critic. But, I try to turn my thinking around. Like, "hey, at least I'm moving my arse 5 days a week" or "just keep going, your body will improve slowly". Patience, patience, patient. That's my mantra. I need to work on this more. I kind of overdid it today but I feel ok, I want to get the prize and goal weight so bad but I shouldn't be in a hurry to get to the finish line.

And continuing later with my negative thinking, we went to subway and had something light and then I saw this lady, prob. about 300 pounds and couldn't hardly fit in the chair her arse was so big. I'm like, I will never get to that. Too chubby for chairs? Too chubby for booths? What's next. I'm not making fun of her. I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who struggles with their weight as I do too. I felt sad for her. I felt sad for me. It makes me wonder how we just keep getting bigger as we get older and why we let that happen. I am changing for good, there is no ifs, ands or buts about it.

What are your thoughts to yourself or from others? What fuels your motivation to keep on being active and losing weight?

In other news, I went up to Seattle last night with the ladies and we did a 3 mile walk. It felt good to exercise twice in one day and some of the ladies are fast so it's good for me. I got there early, it's a park by Lake Washington. I saw some people getting ready to swim so I asked how far to the buoy and they said they are training for a tri. Me too! So maybe I'll get up there and swim in the lake because it will be easy to measure the 1/2 mile swim I need to do. I have been doing the swim in the pool but it's not the same. It's colder and it's choppy and murky and grassy. Yuck.

Well, I'm boring you enough so have a good weekend!!!!


Christine said...

You sound like me the last while. With some "friends" not commenting at all on my weight loss - I have used that as fuel to do even better. I know they notice - but yet they say nothing. Other people are so excited and proud of me at work - and "friends" say nothing. Well - guess what? I am going to kick ass and make sure you notice! Grr!

Living to Feel Good said...

Not boring at all, infact I was really into your post today. We are defintely our own worst critic. I don't think it matters what size you are, we all do it. I am very close to my goal, and I am stlll critical to myself.

Like you say, patience. If you keep up all the exercise, and you still eat healthy and smart portions the outside will catch up with the inside. I can tell you really have the drive, so keep going for it!!

As for the salsa (0 pts!) I posted the recipe on March 20th, so go through my archives. I hope you got my email I sent you through my phone earlier. It's new, so I am still learning how to use the dang thing. :) Also I plan to post a talky blog tomorrow with me making the salsa, and some other talky blog ideas, which I will reveal tomorrow! :D

Anonymous said...

...Over 300... been there, done that, and it is amazingly easy to do. Just keep doing the little things you know you shouldn't over a longer time and... wham... I got down to 140 but regained some, so... here I am... working on the mental changes and not just the diet and exercise portion of this puzzle. The hardest part for me is learning to work with my body rather than trying to whip it into shape. A big part of this, for me, was age... but I am being more careful now about the messages I send myself, because my body is listening.

celtic_girl said...

Well done on the loss. I used to be the same nothing put a fire in my belly more than being told I could not do something. I wish I had that fire back now.

Your certainly kicking arse with the exercise - way to go.

Chris H said...

Why do we continue to exercise etc?? Simple, if I didn't I'd end up bigger than what I was and I'd rather DIE than go back there! How do I feel about myself... on a whole ok, but not totally happy cos I have gained since reaching my "goal" and so want to get back there! I wish I had something to fuel my fire again... Yuk to swimming in the lake, I'd much rather stick to the pool. Hope you have a fantastic weekend.

Rebecca said...

Well you certainly have the positive yet realistic outlook on the weight issue. I know I see other people who have weight problems, and yet I never see myself as others view me. DO you think it would allow us to be more or less critical?

Anonymous said...

keep on trucking and let the negative motivation keep you going only negative motivation will get to the inner "survival" mode as i call it, i have struggled with the weight for years, and the less i lose now the harder i push not only in weight loss but in all aspects of everything you want to accomplish, first you have to asess where you are at and not sugar coat it i am 50lbs overweight and thought i carried it well in reality i am overweight i have to face it everyday and use that to motivate me, believe that i can do it keep reasessing and press harder if its not happening

just googled negative motivation as i believe it pushes us to positive results

steve in florida