Don't know why I'm thinking of this today but.....do you think it is worse to be thin and then get fat or to always be fat and struggle with your weight?
I don't know. I fall into the thin till I was about mid 20's and then got married or maybe even before starting putting on a few pounds, say 10, 20 or 30 and then lose it. Then gain again, let's say 10 pounds a year and then lose some (scuba jobs) but never get really thin and then really blimped up after having a child.
I think it is really painful either way. I think it is really painful to be overweight in this world. The looks you get, the comments from strangers or even friends or family. But mostly, the negative talk in my own head about letting myself go. That is a tough voice to squelch! I am reading some books that help me see that this negative talk is destructive to me and maybe even why I have not been successful all these years in getting back to a healthy weight. Something to ponder. Change the mind, change the body. I can see myself at a healthy weight. I can do the visualization trick that wt watchers says to do. You know, imagine yourself like on a beach with that healthy body and loving life and yourself. I see it as I can remember what I looked like when I was younger. And, I want that bad. Not the perfect body or even really thin. Just healthy and be able to shop in any store I want and not search for the 'fat clothes'. It is way beyond depressing to go into a store with someone looking for clothes and thinking 'I don't think I can fit into anything here'! And for the physical reasons...to be able to run fast, workout hard, just use my body the way it was intended to.
What's your thoughts on this subject? Can you turn your negative talk into positive self talk? I can say the positive things to myself all the time but on some days it just doesn't work and the negative voice in in full force. It is one of the hardest things I'm trying to overcome. Not that it will go away when I get thin. I mean self image is a hard one. But, most of my negative self talk is when I see my reflection at the gym and compare myself to other hard bodies. There are some I really admire at the gym for their physiche and all that they do to stay healthy. Well, I assume that they are healthy cause they look fit. One lady, who is a body builder or maybe it's more of a fitness model type body....she inspires me. She isn't too friendly though as she works at the gym and can be a little short when she talks to you. But, for some reason I keep running into to her. Like when she is working out at the weights, I ask for her advice on getting my knee stronger. Or when she was next to me in Yoga, a talk to her later and she divulges that she is suffering from strong upper back pain. So, she is kinda friendly, I just had to make the effort. I admire her strong, toned arms (kinda like the terminator lady). She has this tattoo that looks like a bandana around her bicep. Impressive. I know that will never be me but I still admire it. The dedication to a sport, to her physical fitness.
As for the scales, I'm happy they are going down but I gotta wonder how much is water weight? As I've read that you can only really lose 1 to 1.5 pounds of fat per week. But, I will take whatever I can get, bring on more bigger losses. If I am wt training and exercising and eating right, I can't be losing muscle? I hope not anyways.
I am missing my long bike rides. Now that summer is here I don't have the luxury of my son in preschool. So, i need to find ways to include him in exercise when I don't go to the gym. I took him to the track at the school by our house. He rode his bike while I walked and I kept an eye on him. So, this will work for running but I can't figure out a way to bike with him and get an aerobic workout at the same time. We do have this 1/2 bike that you can attach to a adult bike and pull him but I have a feeling it would be hard for me as I have enough trouble getting to a decent speed on my own. I guess I will have to wait for the hubby sometime to go bike riding with us. It just hasn't happened this week to do his extra work duties this week and his training for the big 1/2 ironman this weekend. Maybe I'll try a spinning/cycling class at the gym. Have you ever tried one? What do you think of it? I look in that spinning room and they are usually sweating up a storm.
Anyway, need to get off of this computer, I'm spending too much time on it today before the kiddie wakes up and I'm off to check out my new wt watchers magazine. Have a great week!