a success story and trouble in the water supply

Here's a one of the success stories I get regularly from wt watchers at http://www.weightwatchers.com/success/art/index.aspx?sc=17&SuccessStoryID=9401.

I'm not on their program anymore but still enjoy reading these. This lady lost a lot of weight and has a little more to go. It give me hope to see these people change their lives and hear their stories and know that it can be done. What I would really like to see from wt watchers is people that have lost all the weight and kept it off for 5 years or more. I'm sure there are a bunch of them out there even if the public says it isn't so.

I'm trying to get back into the wt loss mode. I just haven't been making the time to do it. I mean when I used to exercise 4-5 times per week I just seemed to eat healthier or just want to do it. Now, with all this college course work and watching my son I just don't seem to have the time and what free time I do have I spend with family but mostly I am studying! I am burning the midnight oil to get all my studying in. And, when I am tired, the last thing I want to do is exercise. I will make an attempt to go tomorrow as it's the weekend.

We've had a scare in our city. They closed the surrounding schools and my sons school too due to finding E-Coli in the water supply. First of all I'm scared that I might have drunk a little of it over the past week but not much as I usually do bottled water or that my son or hubby has. And secondly, it has been a major hassle to find day care for my son with no school to go to. I go to day school at college now and my hubby works a ways away and it has been a pain. I hope they can figure this all out my Monday or else he has to go to Grandma's. I'm sure everyone is getting upset, I mean the restaurants around here as a lot of them had to close due to this issue and everyone is losing money.

In other news, I've been doing well on all my tests/bookwork but found it hard to do a mock xray today. We positioned each other to do a chest xray and had to do the focus/alignment and all the other factors. I didn't do that well I fear and am pissed at myself. It's so hard to lose points this way as they are grading us at every turn. I know it just my first time doing this but I wish they would have let us practice beforehand. I don't like how they throw us into the fire and sink or swim. So, I'm a little down about that. But, my test taking has been good and I have another big test on Monday. I mean the academic side is good but the new area of hands on xray and technical stuff is throwing me for a loop at the moment. I was so nervous and lost my train of thought!!! Ugggghhhh. My hubby thinks I'm burned out from school already but I think it is all the other stress that I have been under for the past month and my health concerns that have compounded things.

I gave him a break tonight and he is visiting an old fishing buddy that has set up a ju-jitsu (not sure of the spelling) school. This guy used to be an ultimate fighter. Ya know, the nasty, low down fighting where anything goes from kick boxing to punching to wrestling. Nasty!

I hope you all have a great weekend and I will try though I have a day at the library planned but I just have to keep my eye on the prize of a new occupation.

A bit better

Feeling a bit better today about things. I had 2 medical tests today, the PFC (or breathing/lung test thing) and a stress test. The tests seemed to go well. I still need to see the pulmonary doctor next week but the heart doc said the stress test was A-ok. They put all these sticky round things on you and hook up the wires. They put you on a treadmill for 10 minutes, first at an easy pace and then continually harder till your running. It was a little hard at the end as I haven't jogged in so long but I knew it would be over soon. They checked my heart and blood pressure and it seemed to be in the normal ranges though a little high at the beginning. I was happy that the doc said that she wouldn't refer me for more tests. If I have more chest pain then she said I might want to get an echo test to look at the how the valves in my heart are working. I did have a heart murmur as a child so that would be something to look at if my symptoms come back. But, I am still having some upper back pain and arm pain but I haven't had the chest pain all weekend! That's good news and gives me hope that this is was just a very stressful period in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that stress would cause me to have bad chest pain. They haven't said it's stress but I suppose it could be.

The weekend was a bit difficult going to my uncle's funeral. There was a lot of crying going on but it was a nice rememberance of him and his son talked and other folks and had a nice slide show of pictures. They put on a great after party and tons of food. Their community/church really comes together in their small town. We then went to my Aunt's house and talked with all the family and other close friends. Some people (his son, my cousin) took the after get together as an excuse to get obliterated with alcohol. I know it's a tough time for him, especially today, but I see the alchoholic tendencies in him that night and other times. Our family has a history of alcoholism. All the way from my Grandpa to my dad to my uncle. The good news is that my dad and my uncle had overcome their demons and were alcohol free after years of abusing it. So, a lot of us are worrying about my cousin. I hope he can contol it. I know the feeling though, he probably just wanted the alcohol to numb him from feeling anything. It was good to see a lot of extended family, even my grandma's brother who I haven't seen in ages. He reminds me so much of my grandma who died 12 years ago. My son had a blast with the cousins as there were so many kids to play with.

I feel like I've lost a lot of ground in regards to fitness. I was on that treadmill test and thinking, 'wow, this is hard'. Why have I let myself slack so much. I think I was just scared when I had the chest pain and quit working out except for some walking. I feel like I have come a long way from the high of doing the triathalon and now feeling kinda low. And, I have to admit to the HALL OF SHAME. The hall of eating shame! When all these medical issues came up and all this sadness this past month I have been having a field day with food. Let's see I've been favoring those little debbie cakes, kind of like chocolate ho-ho's. And I'm a good customer of Taco Time and their Chicken soft taco and mexi-fries. And I've been bad about having ice cream, ya know the hot fudge sundaes! Yikes. It's like all that I have been depriving myself of I just let loose and had them. Kind of like self-medicating with food. Some of you know what I'm talking about. I used to self medicate with exercise and have to find a way to do that again.

But, school is really busy and I have tons of reading to do all the time and have 2 tests in radiology tomorrow. So, I'll take it one day at a time for now. How do you all handle stress? I really need to find more ways to do that as it looks now that it can affect my health. Maybe a massage is in order. Hope you all are having a good week!

gloom and doom

Can't help but feel a sense of gloom and doom. I had a call from the nurse and I can't even remember the exact wording but they think they might see something on my chest xray but it's indeterminable. Whatever the heck that means. And my cholesterol is a bit high but not sky high. Now the nurse says the doc wants me to go ahead with the stress test/ekg thing which I was going to do anyway next week but now wants me to see a pulmonologist or something to rule out problems with the lungs. I'm really confused by this. I'm not sure if they might see something in the lungs or what. It doesn't make sense for me to see two diff. specialists when I haven't even had all the heart tests. My symptoms have been heart related not breathing related.

As you can tell I'm not a happy camper at the moment. I'm trying to stay up and positive but it's impossible these days. I ended up cancelling on my outing with my friends due to school stress and the health stuff. And for some reason when the nurse left a message to call her I knew it wasn't all good news. Sometimes I think I have too much intuition.

I didn't weigh in today, I am on a hiatus but I bet I'm up some. It's taking a back seat for now. But I vow to eat healthy today and to get in a walk. I can't do heavy cardio now as I'm not feeling my best but I can still walk. School is going pretty good but they are tough on us and had our first test the 1st week. It seemed to go well but I'm already behind on the reading. I have 4 classes and they give us about 2 huge chapters per class per week so I'm not sure when I'm gonna get it all done. I usually would take a weekend day and go to the library but we are going down to my aunt's house for my uncle's funeral or as she is calling it the 'life celebration'. So it will be extremely hard but it will be good to spend some time with that side of the family. My cousins (3 of them) all have small children so my son will enjoy seeing them. So, gotta do the family thing and they want us to spend the night on Saturday. I'm just having trouble due to the school demands versus family wishes. I can't let them down so I will find a way.

I will try to do a more uplifting post sometime or diet/wt related eventually but I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water. Hope everyone out in blogland is doing good and I will visit your sites soon.

The weekend

Went to a play yesterday called 'Lone Star Love' starring Randy Quaid. It was funny but hokey. It is a new play and will eventually end up on broadway they say. I thought he was good in the goofy, womanizing role but I guess he didn't get great reviews. I thought he was funny and like him in his movie roles too. I remember having a little crush on his younger brother, Dennis Quaid way back when he was married to Meg Ryan. He seemed so funny. After the play, we then went out to dinner at a british pub/restaurant (think it was called Elephant and Castle) though I didn't try the English food. About as English as my family gets is fish n' chips. Ha, ha! I couldn't get anyone to try the shepherd's pie and my mom wanted me to try bangers n' mash. The only one who venture to try something different was my sister Denise who had some kind of meat pie thing.

Today was spent cleaning up the house and to the store to get ready for the busy week ahead with my school and getting everyone organized as we will need to get up real early on Mon/wed/fridays. I will get up at 5am. It will take some getting used to but on Tuesdays I will have off school, thank god, to study and Thursday is a little lighter schedule. We are in the bedtime battles tonight trying to get my son to sleep earlier as he will need to go to day care for 2 hours on the busy days before school. It will be an adjustment and we may have a cranky and tired kid for a few days but we'll adjust sooner or later.

I did get my blood work done and my xray so I'm waiting for the results. I will do the stress test in early October. I was having a lot of pressure and radiating arm pain all week. I almost starting freaking and thinking 'should I go to the ER?' But, I chose not to and was glad as yesterday it didn't seem as bad. I'm trying to use mind over matter and see if this is stress related or what. I do have some of the signs of high blood pressure I think and will keep an eye on that. My mother takes meds for high blood pressure since her 40's and it can't be controlled by diet or exercise as she is just a little thing so it could be me who gets the curse. But, it's ironic if I do get this condition as I feel I'm healthier than I have been in years as far as I dropped 40 pounds and exercised like crazy this year. But who knows what my body is up to?

So, for my bad week I didn't get much exercise in as I was in pain and my eating hasn't been great. Kind of mad at myself but what ya gonna do? Tomorrow is a new day and I'm off the diet wagon for now. I will try to get in a walk and a good workout on Tuesday if I feel good.

I'm hoping to see some friends for a walk on Wednesday night but it's getting harder to travel and meet them with my school demands now. I travel about an hour to see them and have to figure out how to coordinate with my hubby after work and it feels like a hassle during the school week and now with me up early. But, I like to see my friends as they make me feel good and a it's good to connect with them so I will keep trying to see them.

My hubby is busy selling stuff on Ebay so I gotta give up the computer. We did get another computer (a laptop) and a wireless router that was a hand-me-down so maybe we can both be surfing here soon when I figure it all out.

Hope you are all doing well this week and thanks for kind comments. I'm not posting as much but I'm trying for at least 2 per week.

weigh in and more sad news and concerns for me

Sorry I'm such a sad sack at the moment! Believe you me, I would rather be postive and upbeat like I usually am but I can't at the moment. (or in the past month it seems)

First of all, the weight in for today is a maintain...so still at 203. I think I will just try to maintain at this point as that's all I feel I can do at this stage. I'm not giving up on the weight loss, just postponing it a bit.

My sad news is that my uncle died last night. We knew it was coming but I find myself breaking out in tears today. I'm tired of all this dying it is starting to wear on me.

Another thing that is happening that I didn't mention before is that since the end of August I've been having some chest and left arm pain. I chocked it up to just a sore muscle after the triathlon or perhaps from weight training so I have been ignoring it. But this past week I've been having a irregular heart beat. Kind of like the heart skips a beat so that is real unusual for me. So, to be on the safe side I decided to go see the doctor today before my school really gets so busy next week. I had a EKG and that seemed fine but my blood pressure was up but I think it had to do with being emotional today and a little nervous. Because of my symptoms of some minor chest pain and some a few weeks ago when I went running she ordered more tests. So, I will have the blood work to check the cholesterol, kidney function, etc. tomorrow and get a chest x-ray. Also in about 2 weeks I will get one of these stress tests done where they hook you up like the bionic woman or something. Of course, I didn't feel my heart doing the abnormal thing today but I did last night. Isn't that just the way it is? You have symptoms and then they stop at the doctors. I still have the mild pressure in the chest though. So I asked, could all this emotional stress I have been under cause these symptoms? She said maybe but that she didn't think so. I'm not sure. I just want to be safe and not sorry. We have no heart disease in my family, it's the cancer that kills our clan. So wish me luck that this will all end up being nothing!!

So that is one reason that I will just try to maintain as my mind/heart and everything isn't into the weight loss. I will keep blogging though, ok? I like to see how all of you are doing too. For good things to look forward to I have a play to go to in Seattle on Saturday and so will see my sisters and mom. The next weekend will be a 'life celebration' for my uncle so that will be really emotional. I am trying to do a 'what I am thankful for list' to try to keep things in perspective.

I'm busy starting my reading for radiology and getting some other things ready but it's funny just as I'm about to learn to xray in our mock lab at school, I'll get my own xray. Not the best of days today but I'm still functioning! My cars front brakes are out so I'm getting that fixed today but not looking forward to the bill. I'm just Ms. Negative today aren't I? That positive thinking is just not working for me right now.

I hope all of you out in blogland are doing well on your own healthy living journeys. And, thanks for checking up on me...I appreciate it.

Not feeling on top of my game

For some reason I'm not feeling on top of my game. I feel lax, I feel unmotivated. It could have to do with my hubby and son are sick with colds so need some extra care. It could be that my uncle who has cancer took a turn for the worse and is in the hospital. He prob. doesn't have long to live. With his illness being so close to losing my friend to cancer, I just can't deal very well.

So, it is one day at a time. The stress of going back to school was difficult. I mean not in going to school but managing all my other duties. Taking care of my son and taking care of my health. I hardly worked out but I did have company so it was hard to get away. I did get in some walking but that was about it.

I vow to do better this week! I will workout tomorrow at the gym and try to do some walking today. I will do better on my eating and try to watch my portions more. Ok, that's my short pep talk to myself. I feel like as I close in on 200 that I loose my focus or maybe it's just all the changes going on in my life. I find my motivation lacking and that hasn't happened for quite a while. It scares me a little as I don't want to slide back and not recover.

Anyway, yesterday as my hubby was feeling real ill and needing to rest my son and I went out to do putt putt golf. My son loves it! We got a ribbon for doing it but he really wants that trophy that they give out but you have to get a hole in one on the last hole and of course it's almost impossible as you have to hit up this ramp and get it in the tiny hole. After that we went to play video games and games where you get tickets and trade them in for prizes. He went in this huge ball pit area. Usually I don't like these things as they seem so dirty. They prob. don't even clean them as it would be too hard to do. But he was begging and this ball pit is like the size of a swimming pool so kinda cool.

We may go to the local fair again tomorrow as I like to see all the animals and all the exhibits. Last time we just took him on rides and to see Patrick from the sponge bob show. The photo turned out a little blurry though but he was excited and liked the picture. Now, of course, he wants to go back when Sponge bob is there.


Other than that this week I need to get the rest of my shots done for the future hospital work and get my car fixed it is making some awful sounds in the front wheel and of course start study my radiology as I have reading assignments already!

I hope everyone is doing well this week and getting in some exercise and I will too.

bah humbug

I almost don't feel like posting this after feeling good about my loss the last 2 weeks but I want to be honest and accountable so....I'm up 2 pounds and at 203. Onederland will have to wait a while longer. After being sick and losing a lot I started to eat normally this weekend up till now and the weight shot back up! Ok, it just a small step backward and I'm not going to get down about it. But I do feel slightly bad as Spider named me his wt loss winner last week which I rarely am the biggest loser of the week so feel a little like I let myself down or others. ha. I know this is my own battle I'm fighting and each of you is your own wt loss battle too. I actually saw the scale hit 200 pounds exactly even on Thursday but it was only for a day. I guess I am just on track for my slow rate of loss that I usually have if I average it out so it's not all bad. But, sometime, I think my body is fu**ing with me. I was at this weight up and down a few pounds years ago and was at this weight for quite a long time. Maybe the setpoint theory? You know your body remember weights that you had stayed at for a while and has trouble moving past them. Just a theory. Probably has to do more with that I slowed down on my exercise.

I've got some more stress in my life as back to school now and it's getting a little intense. Sometimes it's boring going over all the procedures and expectations they have of us in radiology. Then 2 hospital coordinators came out to talk to us because we will be working the
'clinical' aspect of school as they call it which means 2 days a week I will be working in the hospital or imaging center starting in January. I will learn on the job as a student and working with a certified radiology tech. which will be the best way to learn. Kind of like an apprenticeship I suppose. Well, anyway, one of these ladies tried to scare the pants off us by talking about all the blood, guts, vomit, poop, pee, etc. that we will see. That we will see death and suffering and on and on. I think she is trying to weed us out or at least give us worst case scenerios that we will see. I know what I might encounter working with sick and hurt people. I've thought about it long and hard and I think I can handle it. I'm sure there will be days that will hard to take but I'll take it one day at a time. I got a little look into it last year when I did my job shadows and got to spend time in radiology and observe the tech's and the stress they can get.

Well, gotta go to bed as we went to the local fair tonight and my son had a blast but I am wiped out and need some sleep as I'm getting up at 5:30am these days and having a bit of a challenge getting adjusted to that. I'm a night owl and trying to make myself an early bird is going to take some time. I find myself a little cranky in the mornings as I haven't been getting enough sleep.
The good thing is I'm meeting some new friends at school and have a feeling I'll get pretty tight with some of these 24 people in my class over the next 2 years. Also, the school is taking my mind off of my sad feelings about losing my friend. So, this is a good thing for me. I know Dawn would want me to be happy and try not to keep grieving over her and crying. I know she would want us to just remember all the good times and thoughts about her so I am trying. But, as you all know if you've lost someone close to you, it seems to take a long time to get over a loss such as this. Do you really ever get over losing someone close to you? I think it just gets a little easier with time but it's still there. Kind of like that person that died took a little bit of your heart with them and you can't get it back. The world is a little less bright without them in your life.

I hope to get in some more exercise this week but so far with school and my mom visiting we've only been walking a few miles and not consistantly. I haven't even gotten to the gym and am really missing it! I will get there this weekend and get out on a bikeride too. I hope everyone's week is good and talk to you on the weekend or I'll see you on your blogs when I get some time!

Nice weekend in Oregon

We had a nice weekend in Oregon. We went to Cascade Locks as my husband was doing a triathalon called 'Escape from the Gorge'. Here's a picture of him and my son yesterday when we were on our way home. We stopped at Mulnomah Falls a few miles away from where we stayed. It was very pretty there. The triathlon went well but there was strong wind through the Columbia River (gorge) channel and there were some good sized waves. They shortened the swim portion of the race. My hubby said they had to rescue 7 people out of the water and someone said they had to do rescue breathing on one person. Scary. My son and I just hung around the playground and race area as you really can't watch the bike and run portions so I just took pictures when he came back to get his bike or to go out running. My pics didn't turn out that well but here's one of him running and one of him at the end of the bike portion going to the transition area to start running.














I'm pround of him for doing all his races and like that he enjoys it so much. It's hard to find a hobby you can really enjoy. One of the reasons he did this race was to attempt to place in the top 2 in his age group to qualify to the Escape for Alcatraz held in June next year in San Francisco. He didn't place in the top as there were a lot of guys in his age group. I told him, 'hey there are alot of guys going through a mid life crisis too'. I was just joking but there seemed to be a lot of men in the plus 40 group. It was his lucky day though as they had a lottery at the end where they draw 8 people's name for an extra chance to go to the Alcatraz race and my hubby got picked. He was so happy it was nice to see. I say 'why do you want to do that race so bad?' and he says something like 'because I can' or 'because not many people get the chance to do it'. I say ok, if you want to battle the freezing cold temperatures of San Francisco bay and battle the sharks, (ha, just kidding)! I hope I will be able to go next year with him but have a feeling it will be right around finals time at my college.

We also had a chance to go over to the town of Hood River, OR. I wanted to get a picture of all the wind surfers but not many out on Saturday. Here's a pic of the town from a far and the marina.




Here's another waterfall picture....love those waterfalls. We did see some windsurfers on Sunday at this place called Rooster Rock. There were also a lot of Kite boarders (I think it's called). It's where you have this big kite and you take it in the water and you ride this type of board that looks like a wake board for water skiiing. Some of these guys caught the high winds just right and were flying out of the water. It looks awesome but also looks hard. Maybe I can try it someday? Who knows.









In other news, I didn't eat particularly well this weekend as we were eating out a lot. Oh well, forgive myself and move on. After my last 2 weeks of losing quite a bit I'm predicting that my Weds. weigh in won't be a loss. Oh well. What is it '2 steps forward and 1 step back'. Or is it '1 step forward and 2 steps back'.

I start my first college class tomorrow. It is a 4 day class having to do with cpr and other health topics. Then I have next week off and the real radiology classes start on 9/24. So, I'm looking forward to that and also to my mom coming down tonight for a few days. She wanted to help take Chase to school while I'm at school just for the week so that was very nice. We will go to that concert tonight, Doherty, and then later in the week take my son to the fair to do some rides. Now I just have to stay away from those elephant ears! yikes. Anyone else have a weakness for these doughy, cinnamon-sugary dessert?

I hope everyone has a great week.

Walmart sucks

Feel like ranting today. I dropped my son off at school and went over the local Walmart in my town. I usually don't go to this one as it sucks. It was early and only bought 2 things, as teacher said he needs an umbrella. First of all, if you are a true washintonian then you rarely use an umbrella. You make due and you use a hood or whatever. Anyway, I get in line and I'm behind this guy who is just buying white t-shirts and jeans. He actually has a pair on and the lady has to zap the tag right off his body. I'm thinking, "what pants did he wear in here?". Then I notice he had on the new t-shirt too. Did he come in here in his underwear?

Then he tries to run the card on credit. Then he says "no, I need cash so run as a debit". They tried to run in like 10 times and no go. So finally he says "ok, run it as credit". Then that doesn't work as it says he needs a new card or needs to see customer service agent. So about 15 minutes of this and only one other line open way across the store. So, since I can't get past this guy I go to the other line. Then it's some lady that can't find the bar code on her stuff and then it's a debate with her daughter about if they can afford all the stuff. I finally get through the line and it's only 9am! Walmart sucks big time. I don't mean to rude but sometimes I get so tired of the dumb, white trash, poor people in my area that couldn't move fast if a rhino was behind them. Ok.....I'm calming down now and don't mean to offend anyone. I am not going into that store again....the one in a diff. city is so much better. Maybe I need to move out of this town but doesn't look like that's going to happen soon.

I find myself crying a lot about my friends passing. Why can't I move on and quit dwelling on it? I know why, cause she was so close to me, to my heart. I want to pick up the phone and call her but I know she is no longer there. I invested so much of myself in that friendship and I knew it would really hurt when I lost her. I'm kind of feeling that my big challenge next week of going back to college is going to be a really hard time for me. Maybe it's the timing or what. I need to focus on school and give it all I got because I hear this first quarter of radiology is really hard. I also have worked very hard to get into this school and can't blow it now. I need to focus and find the time to do homework too....so I will be burning both ends of the candle. Lord, give me the strength to do this and be sane around my family. My boy and husband need so much of me too. I can do this, I am strong, well, somewhere in here.

On the diet front, after I started eating more food my wt jumped up a little. I guess I expected it too with all the water wt lost. I will combat it by going to the gym today and trying to have healthy weekend of eating. The bright spot is that we are going down to Oregon tomorrow for my husband's race and I'll get to visit that cute town of Hood River. I really liked it when I visited it before. Then, on Monday, the local big fair is happening (for a few weeks) and my mom is coming into town and wants me to go to the concert, Chris Doherty. You know, the rocker guy that was on American Idol. I didn't watch idol that much but I've heard his songs on the radio so I think that will be fun.

Friends have been calling a lot to offer me support. I haven't talked to hardly any of them at all. Maybe I want to mourn in peace? Maybe they don't understand the relationship that I had with her as they didn't know her well. I've talked to one friend that was best friends with Dawn when we were in high school and beyond. She is having a hard time too. I'm also having a hard time that I can't go to the funeral on Monday. I have too many committments and the airfare is sky high at $479. I chose to go down and see Dawn when she was alive so I'm happy about that. I just wish I could be there for her family. I know Dawn knows that I love her and that is what was most important. So, we will send flowers and cards and hope that helps a little.

Well, sorry this was kind of downer post but that's how I feel today. I hope brighter days are ahead for me. I am feeling better but not quite over my tummy flu thing. And, I hope you all will have a safe and healthy weekend. Oh, and here is an article about emotional eating, something that I've struggled with in the past. It's good to read about ways to combat it when it rears it's ugly head. ha. http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=596

weigh in and news I didn't want to get

My weigh in for today is I am down -4.5 pounds!! That brings me to 201! So close to onderland I can taste it. Even though I felt I was eating too much on Saturday and Sunday I came down with some stomach bug on Monday and am losing weight rapidly!! I'm afraid it is mostly water weight as I can't keep much down so we'll see if I can keep it off next week. I still haven't kicked this bug and don't know know how to. I guess I just have to wait it out. It's been a long time since I've felt this ill and weak. I wouldn't want anyone to have to lose weight this way. I'm afraid it's not fat loss but muscle and water loss as I'm feeling lethargic.

I have been trouble getting all the things I need to do...done. I got my son off to his first day of school but found myself sweating while we were in his classroom. Think I have a fever, it sucks! So, I only got in 2 days of exercise and that was just walking. I hope to get well soon so I can resume my workouts.

I also got the bad news that I knew would be coming that my friend Dawn had passed away yesterday. I knew it was coming but I guess I didn't think it would be so soon. But, she didn't look good when I saw her last week. I am just thankful that I had a lot of time with her this year and I hope she is at peace now. I believe that she is, and that she is with her mother and sister who passed away before her.

That's all I got today. Check out my post from yesterday about vegas and the room and things. I need to go lay down....ick. Hope you all are doing well.

Some pics to share of vegas

Here's some pics of the room I had in vegas. They didn't come out too well but it was like neon pink and white vinyl along with stripes on the wall. They had those big lights bulbs like you have in you standard bathroom and they were bright cause they were right above the bed! I didn't like that....I wanted my room dimmer and more relaxing. But, I did like the plasma tv and the mirror in the bathroom w/ a tv built into it. Also had the glass shower and cd/dvd player and ipod hookup. It was kinda weird how at night if you had the bathroom light on it kind of gave off a neon pink glow.

I didn't take any other pictures of my friend Dawn. She wasn't at her best and we have so many pics of us having happy times as I have been taking them from the last 2 years or so. I called down there to talk to her hubby and see how things Dawn is doing and it is getting bad which I knew it would. Her MIL called me later and told me to speak into the phone and she would put in at Dawn's ear as she said even though she sleeps a lot she can hear. So I did and told her how I felt about her and things and then the MIL says she is reaching for the phone. I don't know but it felt strange. Dawn's sister was coming down to see her again and help out and they are deciding if they can keep up the home care or if she will go to a hospice place to die. I thought the plan was to die at home but I think it's another story when they have to be the caregivers 24/7 and I can't imagine all they have to go through when someone is at the end. Anyway, of course this is weighing heavily on my mind and how can it not. I wish I lived closer. At least I had a lot of time to say goodbye and tell her how much she means to me.

In other news, I was eating too much at the cabin on Satuday and Sunday and all Sunday night my stomach felt weird. So woke up on Monday morning with the tummy flu and I have been living in the bathroom for the past 2 days. The scale is going down rapidly but how can it not from not being able to eat much at all. All I could get down was a banana and piece of toast. So, feeling weak and having trouble getting all the things done I need to do. My son is starting school, he wants me to play with him, I have errands to do but what can you do if you can't get far? Arrgghhh. Hope it is over soon!!

I'll weigh in tomorrow and let you know the result. Could be a bunch of wt loss to due to water loss but I'll take it! I really would not like to lose it this way and I'll see if I can keep it off when the appetite comes back.

We had a pretty good weekend at the cabin though the weather was only about 70-75 degrees. We have had a cool summer compared to past summers. Here is a pic of my boy playing in the water. He's part fish I think as he spent a lot of time in the water and even tried being pulled behind the boat on a board and inner tube.

Hope you all are having a good week and I'll try to get to the blogs but not getting to very many this week!

Good news and bad news

First, the good news, I lost 2.5 pounds this week! Granted it was a little longer week for me with weighing in on a Friday instead of Wednesday but I was showing the loss earlier in the week too. So that brings me down to 205.5. Maybe I do have a shot of getting to this elusive 199 again. ha! I wasn't bad in vegas and didn't snack at all. I did have a few drinks but mainly ate healthy and not a lot so I was happy with that.

The bad news is this was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I went to visit my friend Dawn who is at the end of her cancer battle. She was able to talk to me but she is hopped on on meds and sleeps most of the time. She has the yellow look in her eyes and skin and I think it's from her liver starting to fail as that's where the cancer has progressed to. I tried to get some laughs out of her and succeeded a bit. I tried to play her some of her favorite music, Jimmy Buffet songs but she told be she wasn't interested in that. She told me she wasn't interested in anything. She said she can't concentrate on anything and things are just a jumble in her head. It's to be expected as they got her on all these meds and some strong main medicine in her arm. At least I could be beside her and help her. I hurt me to hear her lament on that she felt like a burden and that everyone was coming down and just waiting on her, working. I tried to ease her concerns and told her I loved her and that we wanted to help her at her time of need.

I got a chance to get to know her father better as he was visiting from Wisconsin and to get to know her mother in law who is staying helping out with dawn's 10 year old daughter. Dawn used to talk to me of her fears of the mother in law (MIL for short) moving in when she got really ill. It seems the MIL will move to a house nearby soon. I think it's good for the daughter of course I don't know this lady well. Dawn thinks she is too into money and trying to find a man with money. Anyway, the son is like that (dawn's hubby) so I can see how he got that way. I mean he is all about making the money and about status with money. Almost sickening, I meaning the admiration that for people 'who have made it in life'. I look more at the quality of person, not how much money they have. Anyway, the MIL, she seems like she loves her granddaughter and that's what's important at this time. Think all their problems are water under the bridge at this point. I was happy to see that her hubby, Victor, is stepping up to the plate and being there for her now that she's ill. He hasn't always been there for her in the past.

It was hard to be there when the priest from the catholic church came to do a blessing on dawn. It involves us all laying a hand on Dawn and praying for her and doing some prayers. The tears were a flowing as it just makes you really think about what is happening to her. I look into her eyes and still see her but a different version of who she was. It is very sad but I hope she can have peace at the end. She seems like she has it somewhat now. I don't have it yet, it will be some time till I can really feel at peace about losing her.

Anyway, that's all I got to say today. I'll be by to check out your blog here soon but I came home to a pigpen of a house. The laundry piled up, the dishes piled up, nothing done. My hubby was living like a piggy since I was gone! So I've been busy trying to clean up a bit. Then, we need to go to the cabin tonight to be with my son and try to have a nice last weekend of summer before school starts.

Oh, yeah. I ended up staying at a the flamingo hotel in vegas due to being no room at Dawn's house due to visitors so I got a funky room done up in pink neon and white. I will share pictures later. I especially liked the mirror in the bathroom which had a tv built into it! Hope everyone has a good weekend!

bday party and off on a plane again

We had a good time at my son's bowling birthday party. He was feeling better so the party went on. Here's a picture of him having a good time and also one of him getting ready for cake. You can't see him too well (by me) as the neighbor kid Jonathan was in the way. Mostly the party was 5 and 6 year old's but our neighbor kid (who is 10) wanted to come. We had a good time, they kids and my hubby bowled and I just chatted with friends and family. They had up the bumpers on the alley so the kids didn't have to get gutter balls.

It was fun but I was exhausted last night as I have been living on 3-4 hours sleep due to my insomnia. So I zonked out last night and feel pretty good today. But, I have been having a weird pain in my left shoulder and in my arm. Can't decide if I pulled a muscle or irritated a nerve as I've had the pain since Wednesday so I don't think it's from the race. My mom is like 'maybe it's your heart, don't fly tomorrow!' But it feels a lot better today so prob. just something pulled.

Here's some article from sparkpeople if you don't use that site that are a bit interesting:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=175

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=591

and the articles are about planning ahead and also about doing exercise to make you feel better.

There also was one about a lady who made a weight loss journal complete with pictures of before and after and her thoughts at each stage of the weight loss. Like a scrapbook. I guess that is a little like we already do here with our blogs but in an online form.

I hope you all are having a good week and I'm happy to say the scale is finally going down and am at 206 and down -2. We'll see if that holds up for my weigh in on Friday as I will weigh in late this week due to visiting my friend for a few days. I'm leaving tonight so I will check back in with you guys on Friday. Take care.

Up in the middle of the night

I haven't been sleeping well. Has a lot to do with my friend Dawn and my impending visit to see her on Monday. Also, has to do with my boy being sick with the tummy flu or something. It sucks as he has a bday party on Saturday all planned and hope he can make his own party, we'll see.

So as long as I'm up, might as well blog. It seems my friend 'vet' is trying to talk me out of going to see Dawn. She's like 'you sure you don't want to remember her as she was' and 'it will be really hard'. It pisses me off. I know it will be hard, Dawn is really sick. But, she isn't out of it, she is just in a bed. She is still talking and asking me to be there. So, I will damn well be there. It think it is 'vet's' way of trying to appease her guilt of not going. Or maybe it's jealousy that Dawn and I have gotten close when she and Dawn were close in high school. I don't know but I'm sick of it. I don't think she needs to go. She said she will go to the funeral and already is planning what she will say. I don't look that far ahead. I will take things as they come. What is important is that Dawn is surrounded with people who love her. And she is. Her family is there but will leave soon. Her dad surprised her and will come down on Monday the same day as I will. That is good news! I didn't think he would come as his wife has alzheimers and needs a lot of care. So, I will be getting to know her dad more that's for sure.

Her friend, Deanna, has kept me abreast on what is happening with Dawn as I can't get the whole picture from talking with her a few minutes a day. It seems all that she can do, this is not the time for long conversations. She said maybe I should help Dawn with getting her photo albums in order. I noticed she was doing that to leave them for her daughter. She has them all sorted by subject/envelope. And she has tons of photos! So that would be a good thing for me to help her with or maybe just do for her. Vet says get photo boxes instead of the albums. But, I know she already purchased a bunch of albums. I'm a real procrastinator when it comes to my own photos. I have some in albums but the old stuff is all over the place. I will be busy today trying to find old photos of me and Dawn and friends that I can share with her and with her daughter.

Thanks for you kind comments! I know my blog isn't that fun of late but this is what I'm dealing with in my life at the moment and it helps to blog about it!

I'm getting anxious for my school/college to start next month and my son will go back to school in September too. So, lots of changes will be happening. Also, we are going to Oregon in September (down by the gorge) which is the big river that separates Washington and Oregon. My hubby has a tri race near Hood River so that will be fun to go watch him. He will be doing some of this as well as running and swimming:

But I would like to be doing some of this (windsurfing) which is big in this area. I'm not a windsurfer but briefly tried it once long ago. Last time I was in this city with my mom (she was busy at a friends wedding) me and my son tooled around the city and thought it was very quaint and very pretty by the Columbia river. I saw people taking winsurfing lessons and I was like....'I want to do that!' But I had wee son with me (he was 2 or 3 at the time) and didn't have the time. I don't know if I'll have time this time either but we'll see. I always wanted to try it when I lived in Maui long ago but seemed so busy in scuba and working so didn't do it. Bah! Oh well. There are still alot of thing left on my list that I want to do. Skydiving being one of them too!

Has anyone tried windsurfing? Is it as hard as it looks? I only tried it on a calm lake one time. This river can get the big waves. I will talk to you all later and have a great weekend!

Weigh in and bad news about my friend Dawn

My weigh in for today is 208! Yuck, up a 1/2 a pound! Farkety, fark, fark. Suck, suck, suck. I'm not sure what is going on. I did exercise a lot and did that race last week! But, my food hasn't been totally stellar I guess or else I'm just pms'ing and bloating a bit. My weight loss challenge isn't going as well as expected! Weight loss doesn't seem important to me at the moment because of my friend Dawn.

I did stress eat a little yesterday as when I called my friend Dawn (the one who has cancer) to tell her I sent her about an email I sent about the race as she wanted to see the pics. Anyway, she was crying and saying she was in pain. I couldn't tell all that she said as she's on meds. So, it seems the beginning of the end has started. It just tears me apart. I guess the doctors weren't right when they gave her 6 mo. to live. It's only been 3 months. I talked to her today and have been doing a lot of crying and she said 'when are you coming down?'. I didn't know she wanted me to come but I will be there. So I will go Monday and stay till Thursday (or more). She has family and a friend over till Sunday. So, I hope she isn't too bad and will be able to communicate with me. She has the hospital bed put in today to sleep downstairs and has some strong meds today and an I.V. So if it is anything like my aunt or my grandma that died it could be down to 2 weeks left or who knows?

I talked to her close friend down in vegas and she said 'well, you can come now and watch her sleep or come to the funeral'. I didn't like the sound of that. So I will go. She means so much to me and I'm going to be there for her like I always have been. It sucks but I gotta stay strong for her. I hope some more of her family from up here in Washington can be there for her. Her dad won't come, he has a wife (dawn's stepmother) who has alzheimers so he doesn't travel. Her sis will be there and I hope one of her brothers will come. It sounds like her husband is trying to be there for her. He is a very selfish person in the past but it sounds like he is working less hours to help out. I'm sure he is in pain too but doesn't show it. She does have help with a nanny/housekeeper to help with her daughter and I'm sure a nurse is involved from time to time at this point.

Lord, give me strength to be there for her as I am beside myself at the moment. But, I know I am strong. I can do this.

In other news, I am still exercising and ran today and felt pretty good and did some weights. I needed to get some stress release and running does that for me. My boy is excited as he got a new bike for his birthday so we will ride together in a bit. They sure have good prices on kids bikes these days. I'll check on you all soon and see how you are doing this week.

Feeling good then not....

Was feeling good about things and about the race and maybe future races and then the lady I did this race with sent me this,

"Hey Pat,

I am very proud of you for sticking with it and going the distance! It was fun to do the Danskin with you and I will do it again next year if you and anyone else wants too. Now your test is how to get in exercise and do school all day too. Even if you have to walk briskly, rain or shine, at your lunchtime make sure you get some exercise each day. Maybe pick one night a week and the weekends to go to the Y. What times will you have to go to school each day and also drop off and pick up Chase? It's going to be a challenge but you have to make your health a priority. Don't eat all that crappy cafeteria or fast food either. Take a healthy lunch with you. And dump the soda crap, diet or no diet it ain't healthy! Fill up a big water bottle each day and take it with you. :o)

Talk to you later,"

Started out good but.....Ok, what you have to know about our friendship is that she always tried to up-one me. Ya know, she is better than me at this sport, she is better than me on the tennis team. Things had gotten better but she always is the kind of friend to offer advice when you don't want it. I responded with:

"Hi Kath,
Yeah, will think of doing the race next year or maybe others too. It was hard but so worth it. I know you mean well and want the best for me as far as fitness and getting to a healthy weight. I think that preparing for this tri and losing weight for the last 15 months has given me a good base. I am keeping up the Y workout and will work it into school somehow. I have tuesdays off and think a shorter day on Fridays so I will get it in. It is touchy to talk to someone of their weight or fitness as I well know. So for Yvette, I think her hubby is trying to encourage her as he is a personal trainer now. She was reading a 'abs diet' book or something he recommended. But, as I well know, the person has to be ready to change. And, it is only up to them and well meaning advice by family can help but hurt too."

She had been talking in a previous email about a friend of ours 'yvette' and how unhealthy she looked. She is in my flickr. photo page in vegas. I don't know, it's just that I was feeling good and then she brings me down a peg. I hate that I asked her to do this with me. Ok no, that's going to far, I'm just pissed after decades of motherly advice from her. Once in a while I call her on it and she quits for a while. She acts like my mother and believe you me, she is not kind like my mother. And then she must wonder why none of our other friends from high school like her. She is so judgemental of everyone. I never give her advice on her life and she is not perfect. I know she does this as her mother is the king or giving advice so I cut her a break and continue on with the friendship. We have known each other since we were born! Ok, vent over, thanks for listening! I prob. shouldn't blog when I'm upset as tomorrow will be different.

I want to thank all you bloggers out there for your kind words about my race. I really appreciate all the support. Hopefully, I will be on to talk of other wt loss things now and get busy with getting some wt loss progress.

Here is an article about working out while overweight. I like what they said here:

'The fact is that if you're very overweight and out of shape, you're likely going to face some obstacles--both physically and mentally--that will challenge you in every possible way.But I can tell you this: These obstacles are not just obstacles to exercise--they are the same challenges that stand between you and the life you want for yourself.'

It's at:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=584

Here is one final photo of me and my son at the end of the race. I looked tired and was and looks like I'm gasping for breath. Ha! We'll see what tomorrow's weigh in brings. Seems like I'm retaining water so I will drink a lot of H2O today. I want to push myself further and further as I want to see what more my body can do as far as exercise.

My Danskin recap

(warning long post!)

Ran the danskin tri today! Yeah!!! It started off ominious.....I didn't sleep well in the hotel and got like 3 hours sleep. Then it rained all night and was still raining in this morning. Did I tell you I hate Seattle some days!! But, I was still nervous but excited and glad the day had finally arrived. I figured, I was going to get wet in the swim anyhow so all I was worried about was not wrecking my bike or slipping on the run!

Here's pictures before the race: (damn it was early like 6am! This is me, I am not stripping they just had to check your number on your arm to let you into the transition area where your bike and gear go.)

I saw my friend getting ready at the transition area and she had her wet suit on. I don't have a good wetsuit and scuba diving suits are not good for tri swimming. So I was there and 'au natural' as they say...I mean no makeup which is rare on some days for me. I was getting the nervous "I need to go to the bathroom" and was in the line for the porta potties 2 or 3 times. I got down to the swim area and waiting with a gazillion other ladies for the start of my wave or heat as they call it. I guess about 100 in my group. There were 5,125 ladies doing this race! It was the biggest danskin race ever they said. It was well organized and we tried not to mow each other over. I was very nervous and started at the back of the pack after the rousing/inpiring words from the famous tri lady 'Sally Edwards'. I maybe started out too fast and 1/2 way through I was thinking "what did I get myself into?" Here's some swim pictures but no pictures of me! I'm chicken as I didn't like the pic of me.

But the finish finally came and then jogged a bit back to the transition area. Got on my shoes, socks, shirt and helmut and took off on the bike. It was wet and a little windy, especially out over the I-90 bridge over the lake to Mercer Island. We did an out and back course and I got tired of hearing 'passing on your left'. I knew it would happen. I'm not that speedy. I got back from surviving the hills on the course (not too bad) and dropped off the bike and got my hat and on to the run. Here's me on the bike (not a pretty picture, ha!):

This is the part I had been dreading, the run. I'm not the best runner. I jogged and waved at my family and then later walked. Then I talked to a few ladies I had seen on the bike and then ran again. I kept seeing the same ladies as they seemed to be at the same pace. Later I ran into an older lady and talked to her up the giant hill toward the end of the course. A few people stopped to ask me about my sign on my back regarding my friend Dawn who is dealing with cancer. I was really tired but ran on to the end of the race. I was wet and cold but felt pretty good! I completed the race in about the amount of time I thought I would. Ok, my results were:

Overall rank: 2740 of 3496
Swim: 19:05 (660 yards, under 1/2 mile)
Bike: 54:53 (12.4 mile bike)
Run: 45:14 (3.1 mile run)
Overall time: 2 hours, 10 minutes

I was happy with that as I thought I would be somewhere around 2 hours 20 or 30 minutes. My run did suck but I did talk quite a bit and I enjoyed it more that way. In future years (if there future years for this?) I plan on improving quite a bit. My friend did it in 1 hour 34 minutes so she was doing well. My plan of attack was not to be the last in the race or my age group and I accomplished that and it feels good!

I scored some free stuff like a cool tank fushia tank top that says 'danskin' and a bag. Here are some photos of the race. I am the one in the white shirt/black shorts. I wasn't brave enough to wear the tri suit by itself once I got done with the swim. It would have looked like my friend Kathy's pictured here (I mean same kind of suit...why oh why did I wear white instead of black. ha!). Here's my son beside me in the photo too.

My son was cute, as before the finish line he ran along side me across the finish line and got a medal too. ha! He did that with his dad a while back too and it was sweet.

Also, the reason I did this was for my friend Dawn and I wore a sign in honor of her on my back. Picture here:

It was really was moving to see the cancer survivors racing and meet some of them. Some quotes I love about (saw at) the race were:

On the medal: "The woman who starts the race is not the same woman who finishes the race" and on some shirts people were wearing "It's not the act of finishing that matters, it is that I began at all" or something to that effect.

Gotta go to bed as I'm beat and have sore knees and quads! Now, I will stop talking about the race (probably not!). My mom has some better photos and I will get one by a professional photogragher sometime soon. It was a great experience and I felt like an athlete for one day and it is one day in my life that I won't forget.

Butterflies in my stomach

I couldn't sleep well last night. Maybe it was the husband snoring a little but no....think it was this upcoming triathalon in 2 days! I'm so nervous about it and couldn't sleep. So what did that accomplish? Nothing! Now I'm tired today and have a ton of errands to do. I'm feeling like I'm about ready to go off the high dive with this race!

I need to pack up all my gear for the race. We are going to Seattle tomorrow so I can register for the race and go to some seminars on 'first timer's orientation' and on 'course review'. Also, I hope to score some free stuff that they always give out at these races. Then it is over to the race site to rack our bike. Since the Danskin race is so huge...like 4000 people racing they make you do all this stuff ahead of time.

Then it is over to Bellevue (just across the Lake) to stay at a hotel. My mom offered to get us a room along with them (my sisters, and neice) for sat. night. There prob. will be a lot of participants staying there too. She and my sisters will go to the concert that night 'Josh Grobin' and then get up early to watch me race. It's starts at 6:45am! Who starts a race that early! I'm not a morning person so this will be difficult for me. But my wave will prob. start after 7 or later, I'll find out tomorrow. There's really nothing I can do about the butterflies in my stomach. It may be some restless nights the next 2 nights. I have a tendency not to sleep well at hotels. I could go to the concert as she wanted me to go. My mom she just buys the tickets and didn't ask if I was a fan. He is pretty good singer though but not someone I usually listen to. I think I would rather hang out with my hubby and boy and do some swimming in the hotel pool and just go out to dinner and then try to get some rest.

I ran/walked yesterday. I did 3 miles. I am not running the whole distance but knew that it wasn't going to happen yet. I really want to continue on with the jogging in the future. Necessary evil I think. I mean, nothing gets my heart rate going faster than running. So I will keep trying to like running, Why can't I yet? I like the feeling after the run. The feeling of accomplishment. But during it, it still is sweaty torture. I'll see how the running goes on Sunday with the race. What will I do as I can't listen to my Ipod! That's what gets me going ont he runs right now. Nervous....nervous...excited. Really excited to be doing something for the first time. HOw many times can you say that? We'll see if I feel like I need to do another tri in the future. Ok, enough of that talk. I'm analyzing it in my mind, how I will do the swim, the bike, the run. Looked over the course a week ago and will hear more about it tomorrow. We'll see how I handle the few hills they have.

Other topic is....do you ever start to feel really healthy and fitter but later (like yesterday) catch a reflection of yourself and think 'ughhh....I'm still fat and have so far to go!' It's that darn 'stinkin thinking' that gets in the way. I try to combat it my saying 'at least your are moving your butt and trying!' Ain't that the truth. We all are trying really hard to lose the lard!

Remember people were talking of that study in that if you are overweight there is a high tendency for you to have overweight family, friends or spouse that influence you? Here is one of the researchers talking about it http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2007/07/25/VI2007072501331.html?referrer=email&referrer=email
(Maybe a little boring video but he makes some good points)

For me, I have some overweight family members but not everyone. My spouse is thin, most of my friends are thin except for a few. Does it influence me if we are both fat? Yeah, I suppose. As I sometimes we will eat out of eat the wrong things if we are around other overweight people. I have been trying to break that bond. Trying to make it more about friendships than about eating together. Sometimes, people aren't up for what I'm offering. Like 'let's go on a walk' or 'let's go on a bike ride'. But, my spouse will if I ask him and that helps a lot. Now I have to be sure I don't pass on my love of eating fat food to my son. He already loves the chicken nuggets and is a little heavy for his age. I don't want him or I to be overweight when we are older. I want us to live as healthy and fit as we can! It is a struggle and will always be a struggle for me but I feel it's getting a little easier than it was in the beginning of this journey.

I hope everyone's weekend is good and I will check back with you on Monday and hopefully get a pic of me in the race or at least tell you how it went.

Weigh in and body image

The weigh in for today is a big, fat 0. So it's disappointing that I had no loss but good that I had no gain. My scale just weighs in .5 increments. Oh well, in review of the week I didn't do as well as usual. I did exercise 4 days a week but I did go out to eat at least 3 times, probably more. I had Thai on my anniversary (too much), we had salad and pizza last night though I did just have a little pizza and I ate my mom's delicous dinner at the cabin this week. Ok, don't want to think about this more....on to next week and have the race this weekend so I'm hoping for a good loss next week.

Today's topic is 'How are you with your body image?' I was thinking about this today as I am going to an outdoor pool with a friend. I'm already thinking..... Uggghhh. Gotta show my chubby thighs and tummy. And have to sit next to my slim, 120 pounder, asian friend. Last time I was at the pool I just let it all hang out and just happened to be sitting by a 125 lb. aquaintance (mommy) from the preschool. This lady is in her 30's I think and has it going on. I mean, she has that nice, fit body. And likes to show it off. She exuded confidence to the point of being arrogant. I let it all hang out too cause does it doesn't make sense to be wearing shorts when you are in and out of the water. God, I can't wait till a summer (hopefully next) when I won't feel awkward about my body. It sucks and I'm sick of it! Ya hear me body! Fat, your are leaving my body each week and I don't want you back!!!!

I really want to get back to losing at least a pound a week. I have 57.5 more pounds that I want to lose and who knows if I'll want to lose more. At my usual speed of .5lb lost per week this will take me 2 years! I've already been on the diet wagon for over a year. I really would like to be at goal a year or so from now so I need to get my butt into gear. The exercise is great but the food can use a lot of tweaking! So, today I will try to get in my fruit and veggies. I have really been slacking on getting in my veggies. Also, I will work on drinking more water this week as I'm not the best about that. I will buy some flavored water as I drink a lot more of that than just plain ole water.

I found a nice weight loss success story at http://weightwatchen.com/. She lost wt on wt watchers and I like her site in that it is excesssive. I mean, this lady has done her work. Not only documenting pictures of her progress, but journaling food and taking pictures of the food she makes! I'm going to borrow some of her recipes as she makes healthy eating look good! She also details her pictures of her tummy tuck after losing the weight. The only drawback to the site is all the ads/advertising she has on her site. I really don't believe in all the diet pills and other fads out there. But, I can understand wanting the money to fund all her work.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Monday, Monday....

Not much happening today. Oh yeah, did go out of town to the cabin and I took a picture of the lake and of the 'money pit' here as it is affectionately called! My mom and one of my nephews are on the deck. My mom is like 'what are you doing'? If I mention the blog and stuff I think she thinks I'm wacked that I communicate this way. Ha! I say I do it for the weight loss blogs and the others! It is motivating to see the progress of what others are doing and to keep me motivated too.

Anyway, Saturday the weather was fine at around 72 or something but Sunday was cold and rainy! I didn't exercise much (bad, bad) like I said I was gonna. I planned to swim on Sunday but it was darn cold and I wasn't getting in the lake, ha! My hubby says, you are gonna have to do it next week at the other lake for the race. And I know, I know. I may swim up at the other lake tomorrow and go to the pool today. I don't think I'll run anytime soon as I banged up my toe and it's bruised! Not a good time for an injury but it's minor (I hope) and will heal by the weekend. It's a bummer though.

I'm excited/nervous for the race and I have prepared a lot, well at least all I can do at this point. This can be my benchmark for future years and I will improve my times every year I hope. I want to hear the famous triathlete lady, Sally Edwards, speak on Saturday about cancer and about the race. She puts on the Danskin tri's so I hear that she does a motivating/rousing speech.

In diet news, I faltered a little on Saturday but the scales are showing the same so I'll keep up what exercise I can do and see what Wednesday's weigh in brings. I get articled all the time from 'spark people' the place where our challenge group meets/talks on the web. Here's an article about the importance of keeping a food journal http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=394.

I know how important it is to keep a journal and how much more successful I could be if I did one every day. I'm just not doing it. I guess I find it a pain when we go out to eat to figure out the calories. At home it is pretty simple to figure out the calories on the things I eat daily as it doesn't vary greatly. I'll try again soon on the journaling, maybe next week. I really want the weight loss to speed up a little more instead of the turtle pace.

My mom took my boy home for an overnight so we got out to see 'The Bourne Ultimatum' and for some dinner at Red Robin's. (kind of a gourmet burger place). The movie was good and almost non stop action! Now, tonight, we may watch the video 'Little Miss Sunshine' that I've been meaning to see for ages.

Hope you all are doing well this week!!!

pics and things going good

My friend Kim sent me this picture of us when we went out at the end of June. I don't remember her taking the picture and yes, we were liquored up!!! She was having a great time and I was pretending to as she was the dancing queen. She is recently divorced and is into having a good time. She makes me sick in that she is like a size 5 or 7 or something. All I know is she can wear the tight little jeans! The background look blurry, it was a dance club and my mind was blurry too. ha! Usually I don't drink much but I guess I was out of my element as I haven't been to a club in eons and I wasn't letting go of my beer, ha!

I also took a few pics of me and my son. This is a close up of my face (thinking about my anniversary maybe and feeling really tired - where is that wrinkle cream? ha!); and here is a pic of my son being goofy. Well I didn't post the other one of me w/ a full face shot but I am noticing a little less wt on my face and my chin/double chin is going away. I am noticing a slight thinning in my tummy and waist and other areas even though the wt loss is slow! Of course, my hubby says he sees a loss in my face, and upper body. I want the loss in my lower body!!! Things/clothes are loosening a bit though.

My son is getting so excited for his birthday coming up in 10 days. He will be 6. We will go to my dad's cabin tomorrow and we just picked up our nephew Lucas who will come with us. I'm bringing my bike and tri/swim gear and will plan on doing the swim and run and bike this weekend. I'm actually not really looking forward to it. I'm getting a little weary as the race is near and think I'm getting burned out. I just need to hang in there for 8 more days! I won't quit exercising after that but I will slow down a bit. I couldn't believe how sore I was after trying to increase my running a few days ago and doing weight lifting. I guess now is not the week to start increasing my lifting/weights. I need to run again but I haven't yet this week due to my calves and hamstrings barking! I mean hurting! I did get in some biking today and so that is going pretty well and inceasing my time a bit on the 12 miles.

Hope everyone has a good weekend and check in with you all soon.

Anniversary today

It's my anniversary today. I can't believe we made it 16 years! Oh my god. No, he really is a good man and I'm glad we've weathered the bad along with the good. We actually have known each other for 18 years now. I met him in '89 and he was in the military and up in Wash. from California for a festival. He asked me to dance and I did. I thought he was cute but I was still a little hung up on a previous boyfriend. He was persistant and kind. We went on a few dates before he went back to Long Beach. He sent me roses, he sent me love letters. I fell for him pretty quick and within 6 months or so I moved to California. Peole thought I was off my rocker and worried that I was moving so far away and they really didn't know my boyfriend well. It wasn't the best move for me as he was set to go on a 6 mo. cruise with the navy. I didn't care as I was young and in love. Thank good it worked out. I often wonder if I hadn't made the move down there would we have gotten together?

He got out of the navy and went back to college. We moved up to wash. and since then have lived in different places such as Maui and caribbean (in our scuba diver days) and back in Washington the last 10 years. Sometimes, I miss those carefree days of less responsibility but family is the most important thing. Now, if I could just get him to be happy about the weather! We have been having 60-to 70's weather and he is not happy being a CA boy. I thought he would just get over it after all these years but no.....

Ahhhh, I remember the days in the beginning. It's hard to get any romance anymore! And when you have kids it's even harder. Always "momma, dadda, this, this, this.... " so what I will try to do on Sunday or later is see if Grandma will watch him as she wants to take him birthday or school shopping and then we will get a night out on our own for dinner or a movie or just some alone time. Things/relationships always change over time but we are comfortable with each other and the love is still there. Knock on wood.

In other news, I revisited a wt loss success story at http://www.msteechur.com/. I take inspiration from this lady as she lost a lot of weight, wow the before and afters! And that she has done the Danskin 3 times and doing marathons. I watched her 2006 Danskin video and that was cool to see what I'm in for next week. I'll keep an eye out for her in case she is at this year's event. I like to see that it (the wt loss) can be done and can be maintained. That people really can change for good. I know it's rare but it does happen. I know of a few people personally.
Also, I was reading this article on 'happiness myths' at http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_articles.asp?id=903.
I don't think I wait to be happy but it was good to be reminded to just get out there and live life and try for your goals even if you are heavy.

I hope everyone is having a good week and I'll see you on you blogs!

Weigh in and running is a b*tch

Ok, weigh in for today is....only down 1/2 a pound. Puts me at 207.5. I really thought I would have a bigger loss and was showing that earlier in the week but it was my bright idea to go out for pizza last night. We were in Seattle and there is this restaurant called Tutta Bella and I had some caesar salad and 2 pieces of pizza, ok 3 but they were paper thin pieces. So maybe the salt made me retain some water. But oh well, it is going downward so I can't complain. Would like to at least make a pound a week off per week we'll see what I can do this week.

We went up to Seattle as I wanted to see the Danskin tri race course. They are already starting to set up tents and stands for the race. It is still like 11 days away but it will be a big race with like 3950 people doing it last year and not counting all the spectators. Yikes. What have I gotten myself into! A race with only 200-300 is looking more appealing at this stage. I can see myself fighting to get around on the swim and bike, arrrghggh. But, we saw some of the bike course and I see that I have to go over the big I-90 bridge with the bike so that will be interesting and go out to an island and turn around and come back for the 12 miles. Then I took a look at the 3.1mile race course and it seems way longer but it pretty flat except for a few hills. The swim course isn't set up yet but that doesn't really matter if I see that I know that we swim in a triangle shape and they will measure it will buoys around race day. We went down to Seward Park which is about a mile 1/2 from this other park where the race is and went around their 3 mile loop and rode bikes. My son liked it but he was saying "are we done yet"? every 1/4 a mile. The best part for him was the little play ground at the end of the ride. I did do a lot of exercise yesterday so I'm happy about that. Did my longest run ever at running over 2 miles and then walking about 2 more miles. I'm making a little progress on the running but I wish I made progress sooner so I could get up to that 3 miles with all running but baby steps I guess. Running is still a B*tch, pardon my french but I still loathe it and it is 'sweaty torture' but I do feel good after running and feel that endorphin high so I will try to keep on jogging even after the race.

I will go for 5 days a week exercise this week as I slowed down last weekend. They say to taper off your workouts a week before the race but not sure if I will. I mean I will not to the really long workouts but I'm not going to stop working out. I got in some leg weights yesterday and I can feel it today! I think it is the squats with weight that is making me sore or this weird machine for the calf muscle where you push your feet/ankles back and forth. I don't like that one as it seems to strain the top of my foot. I like the other calf machine I had at another gym long ago where the weight is on your shoulders and you just go up on you toes and down.

Anyway, today I'm doing a swim and do some arm weights. Now I have to hurry to get my boy up for swimming class in the morning and later he takes a fun class called 'super soaker swim camp' in the afternoons. So lots of time for me to work out which is nice.

I hope you all are having a great week and thanks for the comments about the headaches! I hope there is not a repeat of that this weekend.