try to post a pic and foot issues!

I will attempt to post a picture today of my son. I'm still learning about using this digital camera so we'll see how I do. He is a great boy and the light of our lives. He has a good sense of humor and is real caring and sensistive to others. We are doing preschool again as he just turned 5 and seems to go well. We decided to try a christian school to give him exposure and he said "make sure and tell Dad that I know who Jesus is now!" Cute. They say such funny things sometimes. On the workout front, I've slowed a little due to having foot issues. I had that ankle injury a while back (twisted) and still sore but now I have this weird pain in my toes and hamstring. So, decided to slow down a bit and listen to my body. Did get in a small walk and did yoga again yesterday. It felt a little more calm in the yoga yesterday. Liked the Indian type music. She always says, "like Ghandi says, be the change you want to see" or something like that. I think that would apply to our wt loss journey too, don't you? Hope everyone is having a good week.

comparing myself to others

How do you not compare yourself to others? Being in wt watchers as I see people get to goal an they will say "I lost 37 lbs. to get to goal" and I'm thinking either, 'man I have so much more weight to lose than she had to lose' or I think 'why did I let this get so out of hand'. Like first it was 30 then 40 then 50 then 60 and up up up after the baby was born. I know, I shouldn't beat myself up about it and am just glad that I'm getting a handle on it now. But why couldn't I when I was younger? Sometimes I would and get down to a reasonable wt and then go back up. I guess a lot was emotional eating and just not being able to figure out how or really want to live a healthy lifestyle. It was easy to just forget about it and not think about the weight and avoid the scale. This time I'm really looking at the why and trying I mean going to change it for good as I'm tired of this yo yo up and down and I want off!!! Also, been going to the gym a lot and can't help comparing myself to all those thin women jogging around the track! I look at everyone though and there are some mommies out there that need to lose a few but it's amazing that the majority are fit but I suppose that is they are long time regulars at the gym. I decided to change my goal wt from 150 down to 145. That's the max for wt watchers goal as I'm 5'4". But that is the goal for 45 yrs plus and I'm not that old yet. So, I may have to change to 140 but I won't till I get closer to that number which is a ways away. You can set a wt. goal higher if your doctor writes you a note or something. I thought 150 was doable cause I was there for quite a while way back when. So, in total, I need to lose 101 at this point to get to 145! arrrggghhh. I know I can do it so I better just get busy and get real about it!

Fast food restaurants

I get this newsletter called the worst foods. Sometimes, I don't read it and other times there is something interesting. There is an article called "Are Restaurant Nutritional Numbers Believable?" and it's here http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/cmi_2363929/cid_1/code_24423/ It is a little long but it's scary to think that when you figure your points from their nutritional web sites that maybe the data isn't accurate depending on what size your entry is compared to the one they say you get. I know the best say is to eat at home always, but we know that's not always doable. Most days I can eat at home but once in a while we will go out. Another thing I have been thinking about (maybe cause my old friend had all that plastic surgery due to excess skin), is will my legs and tummy and buns really shrink back to the way they were. I know they won't be exactly the same due to being older and having a baby and stretch marks!! yuck! Maybe I was talking about this earlier but they say if you've been overweight a long time it won't go back like before. I think I could put up with a little tummy but I hope the legs and butt lose the flab!! I'm doing the exercise, cardio and wts and now yoga, so I'm hoping I'm doing all that I can. I know, it seems I shouldn't get concerned now with such superficial things. One lady on the ww board who lost like over 150 pds said something like "I didn't look good naked when I was fat, and I don't look good naked thin". She showed some photos and just some excess skin. Maybe I would be vain and get in taken off. I can't remember how it felt to feel good in my own skin, I mean naked. It would feel good to not feel self conscious about it. Especially in front of my hubby. I can wish. Ok, what are your thoughts out there? Is your body image getting better as you lose weight? Can you stop the negative comments some of us make to ourselves? Most days I can but not all days.

How do you handle compliments?

Seems lately I have been getting a few compliments on how much thinner I'm looking. Two of my mom's friends and one of mine have made comments and while I do appreciate it I wonder if she has been talking a lot about my weight loss progress and they feel they need to comment. Here's some I've received: "your looking good", "your wasting away" (ha ha don't think 209 is wasting away, maybe for a tall man!), and "keep going" "I notice your wt loss, especially in your face and neck". I don't know about you but sometimes people will rub me the wrong way, of course, I don't let on but sometimes I think they are going overboard or they are telling me not to quit and go back to the larger chub that I was. I don't know why I'm thinking of this, maybe I'm too sensitive about body wt right now! I guess they want to give me encouragement or acknowledge my progress but I feel that I have a long way to go and wish they'd comment when I was further along in this journey. Being nitpicky today I guess! I never am good at taking compliments in general or at least in person. I always seem to say something like "I have a long way to go" or some self effacing comment. I need to have more patience with myself and others and quit thinking "I want this wt off now!" Well, in other news, we had a good day today and I took my son to the zoo in Seattle for a while as we were passing through there and he enjoyed himself. I'll try to post a cute picture of him later, got to do an assignment now for school. Hope everyone is having a good week!!

doing good

A short post today as I'm running off to school as I have an open lab I want to attend as she has given us too much to do in our anatomy/phys. class that I can get done in 2 labs. So it sucks as it will be a long day and night! But the good news today is that I'm down -2.6 today. WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! I really feel stepping up the exercise to 5 or more times a week has done the trick to get me losing consistantly again. It's nice to be able to have two meals out this week and not blow the diet. I'll post more tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

Get Real

I'm re-reading a book I got a few years ago called "Get Real" by Daniel Kosich. I took a class at the YMCA that was about healthy eating a losing weight and this was the book they used. I didn't pay that much attention back then as I guess I wasn't really ready to live the healthy lifestyle but now I am. Here's what he says to why why America isn't winning the diet war. "1. We want to believe in magic" such as the latest diet, a diet pill or powders. or a pill to burn fat while you sleep. "2. We want a one-size-fits-all answer" such as that we will all lose weight on one diet or that we will all lose at the same rate. That won't happen due to the number of fat cells in each of our bodies and our base metabolism. He said that if you yo yo diet for years and you are 40 to 50 lbs. overweight you could have made billions of more fat cells that other people who haven't been overweight. Yikes! I never knew if that was true or not. No wonder it is so hard to get off now! "3. We thought the answer was all-or-nothing" like when you go all out and exercise a lot and get sore, follow a real strict diet and just gave up cause the program was too hard. I definitely know that to be true! If you can't follow the program for life or don't look forward to the meals or exercise, you'll revert to your old ways. At least, that's what I did in the past. I know that moderation is the key. Anyway, now I'm reading about self acceptance at your current weight and to try not to get down on yourself because of your weight as it will make the journey so much easier. This is a hard one! I have good days and bad days on the self image. It seems to be a pretty good book so if you see one at the library, check it out. As for the weekend, we had a chance to go out without our son last night and went to see the movie The Black Dahlia. It was pretty good, it was kind of a 1940's murder mystery. Now, I'm doing assignments for my anatomy/phys. class and it's yucky! Not liking the style of this teacher but I will persevere!! Me and my husband had a chance to go to the gym together today (a rare occasion as he works a lot and I go during the week days) and it was nice. We went into the hot tub after which was pretty cold for some weird reason and he said "you really are gonna do it this time, aren't you?". I guess he's seeing changes in my eating and my behavior and of course my weight. Think he's surprised I haven't quit this time and I won't either. It may get hard at times and it will be a long journey but there's no stopping this time. I'm changing for good this time. It is finally the right time and I can do this. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

When you don't want to exercise...

This was taken from an email I got from a guy named Jon Benson who wrote, 'Fit over 40' but probably good for any age I would think. I tend to do what he did, just say to myself "just do 10 minutes" and then I will always due more cause I'm feeling good, it's just a matter of getting to the gym in the first place. "When You Don't Feel Like GoingTo The Gym...Do This ---A lot of people probably think I go to the gymon auto-pilot. This is not always the case.In fact, tonight was a prime example of...(see if you can relate)-- Had every intention of working out in the early afternoon (when I usually train)-- Got caught up in work mode-- Ended up not eating my meal on time... and workout time turned into chow time-- The hours crept on by until it was...you guessed it...dinner time-- "Can't train this late" ran through my mindIt was almost a workout aborted. One ofthese is no big deal...but one turns into two,which can turn into dozens.That's a big deal.So, here's what I did -- despite the fact thatI really do 'not' like to workout at night...especially legs. I used "secret weapon number 1" -- I toldmyself, "Okay, Jon...just do a 'sissy workout'.Just enough to say you did something. Don't even TRY to train hard!"All of a sudden, the gym became...shallwe say..."easier to find."At first, I did just what I told myself -- keptit really light. Then, sure enough, after theinitial warm-ups and so-forth, the iron bugbit me. I wanted more.I ended up breaking a personal best in a new movement I'm using.I then did used the same trick for my post-workout walk. "Just up to the end of thestreet and back...enough to say I did it."I walked much further...gladly.The secret is two-fold. First, use your mind to your advantage. In a way, this is typical 'reverse psychology.' Once you tell yourself, "I'm only going todo X", then "XX" becomes a bonus. "X"is still acceptable, so either way you come out ahead.Second, the majority of the time when you do not 'feel' like workout out, you'rereally feeling something else.Distracted, busy, lethargic...it really doesnot have much to do with your actual workout session.Go with it -- tell yourself you'll do a "busyperson's workout"...and watch whathappens.Chances are you'll find your groove, andthen do the "human" thing -- rebel againstyour own plan. "I'll show ME!" It's kinda funny, but believe it -- this willsave you dozens and dozens of missedworkouts in the year.You may even get a personal best or two."

ladies night out

Went for my monthly ladies night out with a bunch of my old high school friends from years ago. We had started this group about a year a 1/2 ago or so. It is just 4 of us but we are starting to invite more that we are coming into contact with again. One lady that we haven't seen in a couple of years came last night to meet us in Seattle. We went on a 3 plus mile around greenlake and boy, those ladies are getting fast! We did dinner afterward and got to talking to my old friend about her lap band procedure she had a few years ago. We talked further and I knew she had been on television about it and she said it was Inside Edition and that it was actually about reconstructive surgeries she had about 2 yrs ago. Guess she did that procedure where after you lose a lot of wt (she lost over 100lb.) that they give you various procedures all at once. Think since it was relatively new idea, that's why the news was interested. She told me she had boob life, chin implant, tummy tuck or lipo, butt lift, thigh lift, and upper arm skin taken off. I can't imagine the recoup time. She said she was in so much pain she asked God to just take her now. I don't know, I am pretty open to people getting plastic surgery if they want but this seemed like total overkill to me. I think I would personally think of tummy tuck or boob reduction if my body isn't what I want it to be when the wt comes off. I mean if there is just a mass of skin still there though you are thin, would you do something about it? Of course, the cost and the fear of it, might deter me but I'd be open to it. But, I wouldn't do lap band or gastric bypass surgery. I mean, I saw her eat like 4 bites of soup and that's all she could have! I know that eating less and more often would of course make you thin but I wouldn't want to live like that. I guess there is an option to ease off the lap band and you can eat more if you feel like you would like to do that. Funny thing though, I was talking about emotional eating and how I used to eat due to stress not hunger and she said she gained her wt just due to loving food. Well, my issue is more that just loving food it's using it when I'm stressed, mad, sad, happy, you name it. And she said she dreams of eating chocolate and can't stop thinking about it. I don't know what to say to that. I think, we can change the stomach but we can't always change the mind or it's longings. What do you all think of these kind of surgeries out there in blog land?? Have a great week. I'm doing well on the exercise and eating plan and except to see some loss come Monday. Just need to get through the weekend and concentrate on healthy eating.

Starting to feel the pressure and other thoughts

Starting to feel the pressure of all I need to do to get an A in this Anatomy and Physiology class. It is a teacher I've never had before and she seems pretty demanding. Have lots of assignments due already and mega reading to do! I think they expect 2 hrs of studying a night and that is hard w/ raising a family and other obligations. So, I will burn the midnight oil most nights. I'm a night owl anyway but it will make it hard to get up early some days. If I don't visit your blogs as much or post as much that is because of limiting myself on the internet so I can get some studying in. On another note, the hubby is trying to push me. I mean, I guess, help me by encouraging me to do more exercise. Like when we did the 16 mi. bike ride, he says 'soon now you'll be ready for longer rides' and 'what is your next weight goal'. (I know he wants to help but I just want to share thoughts, not have him find a solution to my wt issues, I think it's going fine and I'm making progress) Sometimes, I share with him what weight milestone I have made as I don't share it with too many people besides mom and sister and you blogger friends out there. He wants to push me to work harder and faster. He wants me to do triathalons cause he's into it big time. I told him that is not my dream right now, getting weight off and becoming healthy is. Heck, that may never be my dream. But on the other hand, I actually had entertained the thought of doing the danskin women's mini tri next August in Seattle to help raise money for breast cancer (a close friend is fighting it). It would be I think a 1/2 mi. swim, 12 mi. bike or more, and 2 1/2 mile run. I think it could be doable but I'm totally not a runner. Never have been and never really liked it. I can do the swim and bike but I'm not speedy. Anyway, I'm toying w/ the idea of buying the book 'couch to 5k' that I've heard about that gets you jogging. I feel it's hard when I tried once a few months back; just the extra weight I still have on and have always hated the bounce (in the chest). If any of you ladies out there are amply gifted in the chest region as I am you know what I'm talking about. Of course, when I was young and in jr. high/high school we had to run as part of phys. ed so I know it's not impossible. I see some websites of women that have lost a lot of wt and have become runners or are doing tri's. One you may want to check out for success story is 'MsTeecher.com'. I'm not sure I can make the giant leap it would take. I'm nervous just thinking about it. Anyway, just venting a little tonight, post is all scrambled...thoughts everywhere but too tired to fix it! Hope everyone is having a good week.

Yoga

Had a chance to try yoga again today. I did it a while back in NM and it was good. This class at the gym is called power yoga. It was an all level class but a lot harder than the one I took before. I like the low lights, the candle, but some of the calming or meditating talk is kinda funny if you are not used to it. You try to do a lot of breathing to calm you and your supposed to let all your stresses and thoughts go. That wasn't too hard but I wasn't calm, I was thinking 'I am doing this pose right?' and 'gee, that lady can stretch like a pretzel'. But all in all it was a good stretching routine and a little abs and lt weights so think I'll try that once a week. At the end she was like 'we welcome the newcomers and hope they will return'. Another lady and I were new to her class and it felt a little weird like we were in a commune or something. Probably just the new-agey talk. It does make you feel pretty good after, like you've accomplished something. Anybody else tried it and do you like it? How often do you do yoga, once a week?

Yes!!! Numbers on scale going down!!!

Yes!!! Lost -2.6 this week.....takes me to the elusive 35.2 lost so far!!! The 35lb. mark is the most I've ever lost on ww before, once in 1998 and then never went back after a vacation. Of course it was a lot smaller then (think got down to 173 or something) but this time I'm not quitting!! I think what did it was being stricter about my food choices and counting points every day and the 6 days of exercise I did. I wasn't going to have no loss again as I really look forward to seeing those number go down. We did get out and bike yesterday and got in 16 miles. That was hard for me but not for my husband who was also pulling our child on the 1/2 bike. He's a very strong cyclist but they went slower for me. It is a nice ride up by a river in a town called Orting and it is 8 miles with a slight uphill grade in places but then the 8 miles back seems like mostly downhill with a few level spots. We've done this ride before but it had been quite a while. Well, the lady at ww was talking about evaluating your week. Like if you had no loss what you could have done better or is it just wt fluctuation; and if you lost more than 2lbs. she waid that the max fat loss is 2 lbs and the rest is water wt. I suppose that's true. Then what about in the first few weeks when you lose like 4 or 5 a week, I guess some of it is water. My Bio. teacher was saying we had like a lot of water wt that could be lost in our bodies if we had a hard workout or cut our food intake down dramatically so I guess they are saying the same thing. Yeah, it's a bummer that we can't lose 3 plus pds every week but slower is better I know. The wt loss has really slowed down to like a pound or pound 1/2 a week when I really do the program. I think when I push it like this week with exercise then I'll see a little bigger losses. I'm going to try it again this week but I do have a busier week due to starting night school tonight but I'll try my best. Hope everyone is having a good week!

concert

Went to a play yesterday, 'bombay dreams', and it was ok and then a concert - John Mayer/Sheryl Crow. The concert was great - I especially liked Sheryl Crow, she put on an awesome show. Just a little political stuff in there but such as why our military presence is in some countries but not others, such as african ones that have had genocide and starvation issues. We all know the answer to that....oil!!! If we could all just go to electric cars (maybe someday) then we can quit depending on the oil countries! She had a lot of quotes up for peace and quotes from various past presidents and famous people but has peace really got a chance in this world? It my view, I think not really. There will always be conflict. I just hope we don't all kill each other or kill the planet in the next 100 years! Ok, maybe that's a little pessimistic but it's how i'm feeling at the moment on the subject. Anyways, the music was great and she ended it with 'been a long time since I rock n rolled'. Is that an old Zepplin tune? Anyway, on the diet front, I mean healthy eating front, it is going well. Had a salad and a lowfast taco yesterday and had to have a bit of my friend's kettle corn, but not too much so I'm hoping wi will be good. Today, I will try to go out for a bike ride later as it's going to be in the 70's today and rain is nowhere to be seen! Have a good week.

exercise and mood

I have exercised 5 times this week, Monday-Friday, so happy about that. I will not tomorrow as I have a busy day with a play and a concert. Hopefully on Sunday we will all go for a bike ride as it's been a while since we have. My bike needs a little work but maybe my hubby can fix it as he's into bikes. We have a 1/2 bike that by dh (dear husband) can hook to his and we can take our 5 yr old and actually get in a long ride. My son can pedal too or just coast along. I was in a cruddy mood this morning cause I slipped down the stairs a little and caught myself so not sure why the bad mood. But got out to exercise later and my mood was better again. So really enjoying the mood boost exercise can give me. I'm going to stay on the ww program this weekend even though I will be eating out a little. I want that Monday weigh in to be good after busting my butt this week! I was going to go swimming today but forgot the suit so I did the track/walking and elliptical. Maybe I'll try aqua aerobics next week and definitely will try yoga as I liked it. They call it power yoga and said all levels welcome so I'll see what that is all about. Here's a little joke....hope everyone is doing well this week...one day at a time.

Looks like scale going down...

I don't weigh in till Monday but got on the scale today and down like 3. The scale has never gone down to 209 in years (fun to see) and that would be like 211 on the ww scale. That would be so cool though I know better than to count now as by Monday it could be pre-menstrual and then the wt goes up again. I have been exercising like mad as I have more free time this week as my son has started up preschool so decided since home was 25 min. away then I will go to the gym every single day during the week. We did splurge and go the county fair again but we concentrated on the rides and sights to see and not on the food and I am proud to say no dessert and hardly any junk food. That's a feat for me. I was thinking about this, I remember in years past, it seemed I couldn't wait to eat this and that fattening food at the fair. Food was all consuming. Now, it seems at this moment it is not. I can take it or leave it on most days. Being healthy is winning out. I hope I can keep that state of mind. Going on the rides, yikes, most make me sick now! Especially the spinning bear ride! I remember I used to go on any and all rides when I was young and loved them. Now I feel like like up-chucking but wanted to have some fun w/ my son. On another note....exercise.....Question for you all....what exercise do you do and how often to you change your workout routine to keep it from becoming boring? Have a good weekend everyone.

More Santa fe pics

Had trouble posting photos so I'll try a few here. These are of the usual NM architecture and the St. Asissi Church. The photos on the previous post are of an Taos Indian Pueblo and La posita spa where we had the yoga and massage.

quote and also some pics of New Mexico

What do you think of this quote 'living an unfulfilled life is a big part of maintaining the destructive habits that hold obese people back'. Mmmmm. I saw it on the fatmanwalking website. I've read his web/blog for quite a while now since he walked across american to lose some weight and to find some happiness. Look like he is on the verge of another journey and this time around the world. So, hope he finds what he is looking for but I couldn't leave my family for that amount of time. And what do they always say, something like, 'when you go looking for happiness elsewhere, it was always right at home' or something like that. Well, the unfulfilled part, maybe that could be true for me. It seems I put some things on hold while taking care of family or letting my hubby go after his dreams. It's something I've thought about and continue to think about. Maybe this could have been what caused me to keep gaining wt every year. Anyway, I have a few pics of New Mexico so I'll attempt to post them here. Some didn't turn out too well because of the crappy camera (my hubby had the digital) and all the sunny/shady areas. Have a good week.

forgot to mention...saw Shirley MacLaine

Hey, I forgot to mention my big star siting in Santa Fe! We were at the movie last Thursday and saw Shirley MacLaine. I like her alright, loved her in Terms of Endearment but my mom was star struck and there was like no one else at the theatre and we just kinda stared at her and then we she and a blond haired lady (maybe a daughter?) went into 'little miss sunshine' movie. We were going to another movie (scoop) but mom wanted to switch to that movie. And I was like "what are you gonna do, stare at the back of her head"? They were the tiniest 30-40 seat theatre's. Weird but did know she was into the new age/spiritual lifestyle so that makes sense. Just surfed the net and she does live there part time! We just left her alone, I mean what are you gonna say anyway, they deserve their privacy.

maintaining

Maintaining my weight this week. I pretty much figured I wouldn't lose cause I was on vacation and didn't watch what I ate as much and drank a little. I'm happy with the maintain cause it's what I expected. This week I'll try to kick it up a notch and get in some weight loss. I'm having trouble with my ankle at times though. I can walk and exercise some but if I hit it the wrong way like today getting out of the car, it feels just like a sprain again. So still doing baby steps, I guess, until it heals all the way. I do want to start seeing consistant losses again on the scale. I just haven't been that motivated lately. I'm not quitting, I'm just slowing down I guess. I'm starting to feel some stress from a few things going on in my life and one of them college starting up but I will do my best this week. I will post some pics of Santa Fe when I get them back if anything turns out good. Also, get to go to a concert this weekend....Sheryl Crow and John Mayer. I've like Sheryl Crow for a long time so it will be nice to go to that with some of my old high school girlfriends. We are way back in the lawn section (it's an outdoor theatre) so I'm hoping for no rain like we have been having up here in the Seattle area. Hope everyone is doing well this week on their healthy lifestyle.

Santa Fe was awesome

I haven't posted in a while cause I've been out of town since Wednesday. Had a great time down in Santa Fe, NM! Weather was in the 70's. I've never been to NM but been to Arizona quite a bit. It seems similar in landscape to Phoenix and Tucson area but a lot higher elevation. We did a lot of looking around the plaza and looking at all the shops. Got quite a bit of silver and turquoise jewelry, went a little crazy w/ getting the earrings, cool bracelet, ring, necklace but it was really good prices. The local indians sell a lot of the jewelry for really great prices and we'll see if it tarnished or if it's real silver! There are lot of great art galleries and they have this one street called Canyon that has an art walk and it goes on forever. I do like some art and I loved the old stucco type houses and great gardens and the architecture. Another day we did a private yoga class and a great massage! My first massage and I don't know why I've waited so many years to try it, it was awesome! And then we went to the Taos Indian Pueblo's and learned a little bit of the Indian history and went to Chimayo. Chimayo is a little church where thousands of people have visited near and far and some (they say) have been cured of their illnesses. Here's a link if your interested in it http://chimayo.org/history.html. Anyway, the trip was good, and we did walk a lot but sadly ate too much mexican/southern food cause couldn't resist the local cuisine. So back to the ww wagon tomorrow and looking like a maintain if not a gain. It's so much easier to be on program at home and I will do better this week. I just didn't want to count points when I was on vacation and feeling ok with that decision cause I know I can do this! Hope everyone is having a good week.

my picture

Finally figured out how to put my picture up on the blog. Now maybe someday I'll figure out how to do a web page and some progress photos. Baby steps I guess!