Going towards the warm weather

My son and I are off to Palm Springs, CA tomorrow. Yeah!!! We'll be back on Monday next week. I'm hoping for some warm weather and it's forcasted for high 60's and then 70's and maybe 83 by Sunday. That would be awesome and anything will be better than the 30-40's we are having here. My son loves to swim so I'm hoping the weather will be good enough to swim outside. I've been to Palm Springs a long time ago when I first lived in California (Long Beach) with my husband when we first knew each other. I took a road trip over there with my mom way back then. It is a nice place and desert like landscape and palm trees and nice hotels, and lots of good golf courses. Of course, sometimes you see all the rich people and their cars, houses, etc. but it seems a lot different than say Hollywood. I will bring the camera and try get some shots of the scenery.

On the diet front, I didn't weigh in yesterday due to being sick with the tummy flu or something. I couldn't even get out of the house yesterday and that was challenging with a 5 yr old wanting to go to the park and play all day. We settled for playing outside for a while as I had to lay down part of the day. I sure am catching every cold bug and sickness these past 2 months. I'm sick of it. I'm doing a lot better today though we both have stuffy noses. I'm just hoping that we don't have trouble flying as far as getting our ears to equalize. The birthday weekend was good. We went out to eat Thai and had Phad Thai and panang curry and also to a restaurant called the Ram. It is a restaurant/microbrewery and I had something called Bourbon chicken and mashed potatoes. It was awesome. We had this giant piece of Mud pie but we all shared it wasn't so bad. I'm afraid the weight isn't budging but I know why -- just too much food. Too much good and calorie laden food. Though I sure didn't eat much yesterday so may have undone some of the damage. I got in some exercise today but it was just walking but better than nothing. The trip will be a challenge to eat right but I'll try my best.

I hope everyone is having a good week and I'll catch up with you next week.

sick to my stomach.....about triathalon, about cancer

No, not sick anymore with a cold or flu but just signed up for the Seattle Danskin Womens' triathalon in August. I feel sick with like butterflies in my stomach and wonder if I can do this! All I need to do is swim, bike and run. Seems doable, doesn't it? I can do these things separately, well maybe not run all the way yet but I haven't combined more that 2 of these different activities yet. I know if I can't do it all, I can walk in the run, that should be my focus at the moment. I've invited a few of my friends and have 2 takers so far so I'm excited about that. You really do the race by yourself at your own pace but it would be fun to see my friends at the beginning and end, or maybe start the race together as we will be in the same age group.

One of my main reasons for doing this is to raise money for breast cancer research as this is near and dear to me. My best girlfriend, Dawn, has been fighting the fight against breast cancer for a few years now. It's so hard on her but she is a strong woman but it's not going away. She got this disease at a pretty early age, in her 30's. Something has to be done to find the cure! I'm just a little emotional about it right now as I just talked to her recently (she lives in a diff. state) and she is going through her 3rd round of chemo in the past few years and she is so tired all the time. I just get so worried that I might lose her someday. This is the kind of friend I don't want to lose, the kind you can talk to about anything, the kind that has your back, the kind that keeps your secrets and you keep hers and never will divulge to anyone, the kind that helps you when your marriage gets rocky and you help her when hers is on the brink of divorce, the kind that will be there for you no matter what. Those kind of friends are hard to find. We went to high school together but got really close after high school when we lived together for a while. I just don't know what I can do for her but be supportive as much as I can from the distance/miles between us like I have been. But, on somedays, when I hear her talk, I feel I'm not doing enough for her. I also am going for a visit at the end of March for our annual trip to vegas and will see her then as she lives there so really looking forward to that.

Anyway, on the eating/diet front, it isn't going that well this week due to birthday celebrations for 2 days and just eating out too much and too much chocolate. Yikes. I need to get my butt into gear to start really training for this and drop a good amount of weight by August. My knee has been aching since I started up jogging again so I have to ease off of that for a while, but, I'm not letting up on the exercising. The elliptical machine is still ok and the walking isn't too bad. I hope everyone is having a good week!!

Just maintaining

Just maintaining this week and I'm ok with that. I have been off my regular routine as I've been sick a lot. I've started exercising again this week and will try for 4 or 5 times this week. I also need to get my eating in line and start eating more fruits and veggies. That's the goal this week.

I had a nice weekend and went to see the play 'Buddy' about Buddy Holly's life. It was really good and was mostly about the music. The main actor who played buddy was a local Seattle man who plays in the band the Dusty 45's. I've never heard of them but someone told me they sing rock-a-billy. I'm assuming it's a country rock kind of thing. Maybe I'll have to go check them out as he is really talented. We then went to the top of the Hilton and had a really nice dinner. It's nice to get some time in with my sisters, mom and some other women and do something fun. Sunday we went back up to Seattle as my hubby wanted to use his gift certificate I got him at this triathalon store. Chase and I played at Gasworks park that we've been to before (think I posted pics a while back) and then up to Greenlake to the playground. There is a running/walking path around Greenlake and it's about 3.3 miles. I should attempt to run that some day.

I've got a b-day coming up this weekend and we will probably just go out to dinner with my folks as they will be on their way down to Palm Springs, and it's count down to when my son and I will visit there at the end of the month, 7 more days......can you tell I'm excited to get out of town. It hasn't helped that it has been raining for like 10 days straight, sometimes the weather drives me crazy in Washington! I hope everyone is having a good week and I'll by to visit your blogs here soon.

Week not going as planned and about triathalons!

This week is not going as planned. I've been sick with another cold and just so tired and run down. You would think I wouldn't feed a cold but I have, I mean not a lot but some wrong choices. And only exercised today for the week as no energy at all but I guess that's to be expected.

Is anyone out there thinking of doing a first triathalon or a first run/race? I made a plan last year to do the Danskin women's tri in August (if I can get registered in time, it sells out fast when they open it to register.) What I would have to do is a 1/2 mile swim, a 12 mile bike and a 3.1 mile run. I've wrote about this before and I'm trying to focus on what I will need to do to train for this race. So far, I've tried to get my endurance up to working out (cardio) for an hour or hour and 1/2 and started jogging last fall. I have been very sporadic in my jogging and have never gotten about 1.5 miles jogging though I usually will go a couple more miles on top of that with walking and then add on the elliptical. So I feel I have the endurance but need the right training. I'm not sure exactly what that should be and I'm gonna do some more research and reading on the subject. Of course, what I need to do is bike more and swim more that's for sure. What have you all done out in blog land to prepare for a first event?? I'm a little scared about the whole thing or maybe nervous but I'm excited at the same time.

I'm starting right now on making this a better rest of the week. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot after Monday wt loss. Hope everyone is having a good week!

weigh in day

Went to ww yesterday and had a loss of -2.8 lbs! Wooohooo! Finally a loss, it has been a real long time after my month of gaining. I wasn't sure how the week would turn out as my exercise was great and during the week I ate pretty good but the weekend I didn't count my points and didn't really diet. So I am real happy with that. This helps my mood and motivation a lot and my outlook is better and I have some optimism that I can do this again. I'm still having ups and downs but I just have to keep on this journey.

Not much else happening, I'm still working on those darn taxes and almost done. I've gotten a cold again and I just had one 2 weeks ago! So I'm pissed about that. My hubby caught one at work and obviously it's a different virus. Sick of being sick but what can you do. My son wanted to stay at Grandma's another day so I have some time to get things done around here. I miss him terribly though even though he sometimes wears me out.

Here's a quote I got off the ww newletter, "If it isn't hunger, food won't fix it!" Think I'll put that on my page to remind me. Hope everyone is having a good week!

The weekend

I felt I was doing pretty good this week as I worked out 5 times this week, but, I have been having these strong cravings for sugar or maybe it's carbs and then I cave a little on the food intake. I'm not sure if I'll have a loss on Monday or not, we'll see. The weekend wasn't as good as I wanted. We just got back from going to my mom's (it's about 3 hours away). She fed everyone pizza last night and I indulged a little too much. It is one of my trigger foods. Arrggghhh!! And just seems every time I go to visit there I eat too much junk food. I got to see both of my sisters (as one was visiting for the night and the other lives in town) so that was nice. My dad bought a new van so we aquired his old Honda Odyssey van. It has a lot of miles on it but still runs good and the only bad point is my dad spilled gas in the back and it reeks of gas. We will have to take out the carpet and dump it I'm afraid as I don't think you can get rid of that smell. My hubby was feeling a bit woozy on the drive home in it as the fumes seem strong. It will be his vehicle as he has a real old truck and wants to get rid of that soon. We also did our taxes and I just have to finish them up. I really hate doing taxes every year and wish the government would make it easier instead of these blasted forms and itemized deductions, etc. every year!

My son's school has winter break and conferences this week so he is at Grandma's for a day or two so I get a little break which is nice. I'll go to the gym tomorrow and wt watchers, finalize the taxes and clean house (can't wait!). Just kidding, I hate cleaning house but it's getting real grubby around here. Sorry, just boring old news today.

I hope everyone is having a good week!

Devil vs. the Angel

Sometimes, it feels like a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angel on the other. These are things I say to myself. Maybe you can recognize similar things in yourself?

The devil says "you know you can't reach your goal, you haven't so far, go ahead and eat the candy" and "who cares what you eat, it will taste so good and make you feel good" or "you know you want that pizza, or fries or ..." or even worse "your getting older" or "your ugly". The angel fights back with "this is just a little blip in the road, you have lost the most wt you ever have this past year, keep going" or "just eat healthy for today, and it will make you feel good" or "work out and push yourself, you know it will make you feel better" and "you are looking so much better than you used to getting those 40 pounds off" and "keep going, these baby steps will pay off over time and you can get to goal if you really put your mind to it!"
I think we are our own worse critic and I'm trying to let the angel win out and hear the positive comments. Usually I can do this but then the old devil pops in with his negative comments but I refuse to listen to them now. It is doing me no good.

On the exercise front it is going well, I'm going to try to get in 5 workouts this week. I started on Monday and got in 3 so far. I'm doing an hour of cardio most days (walking, jogging and elliptical machine) and then 1/2 of weight training on a few days a week. I think I will start swimming again on Friday as that is a light day at the pool. I want to start biking again but get bored easily on the stationary ones. I would like to try a spinning class. Has anyone tried one? What did you think? I love to bike outside but not in winter. When spring comes we have a great trail we do that is up to 16 miles.

I am thankful today that my Mom made it back safe from her trip to Argentina and Antartica. She was on this cruise boat and hit a hurricane type storms and 60 foot waves. The furniture was flying all over the boat, even pianos and doors. The windows were getting blown out and water coming in. She said she knows what it feels like to be on the Titanic, she was really scared for her life. They can't figure out why the captain didn't delay the trip as a storm warning was in effect. She thinks he had major pressure from the travel company to stay on schedule but jeez the risk he took as the boat wasn't as seaworthy as it could have been. My mom loves to travel to unique and far away places but we worry about her sometimes and on this trip we didn't hear from her for 2 1/2 weeks due to no email access and that was hard.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good week and I am doing a lot better and the one day at a time approach is working for now. It seems the scale is moving down about 2 pounds so I'm hoping I can keep it that way.

Ouch...that hurts!

I decided to finally go to wt watchers and weigh in today. I haven't been in a few weeks and before that I would go but not weigh in and take the easy way out. I will rip this band aid off real quick as it will be quick and painless....UP 9 Pounds! Ouch, that is painful! I don't think I've weighed in since the beginning of January. It was a lot higher than I thought it would be but I knew it would be quite a bit. As much as I hate to go out of onederland, I have to face reality and I am up 10 total pounds from my lowest (of 198) in December. I need to quit avoiding the scale and wallowing in my unhappiness and do something about it. It is amazing how quick I can gain and how slow it is to lose sometimes but at least I've stopped the madness for now. I still have a ways to go in dealing with this SAD or winter depression/blues but I am working on it.

The good news is that I'm back on program today and exercising and eating pretty good. I feel like it could be a good wt loss week (I hope) and get a big loss and take a chunk out of that gain. My short term goals are to work out at least 4 times per week and that shouldn't be a problem and to stay on the ww flex pts program. My long term goal is to lose these 10 lbs by the end of March as we are going to Vegas then. If I can lose more and get to -50 that would be great. And a little longer term goal is to get to at least -52 or more by May 1st as that will be a year from when I started this journey. I guess I am thinking of that # because it would be 52 wks in a year and get an average of a pound a week and that would be nice. I know that some people think you should put a date to lose a certain # of pounds by but I feel it will help me at this point. If I don't make the goal, it will be ok too but at least I have something to work toward these next few months.

Did you ever see that movie 'What about bob?' Funny movie. In the movie the therapist gets Bob to do baby steps to get his goals accomplished. That's how I am right now, baby steps to the gym, baby steps by eating salad, baby steps by just looking at today for now and trying to be as healthy as I can. I'm hoping one day will turn into 2 days on program and then a week and then a month. I'm going to try not to be as strict as I had been last year and maybe slow down the rate at which I lose and ease up a bit as I feel that maybe the way I was doing it set me up for a binge.

The ww meeting today was about heart disease. She made it fun and it was a game of jeopardy and we answered questions about heart disease and we did really well. It helped me to bring focus to my main reason for losing weight. Not too look better and feel better though they are very important, it is for my health!! She said that if you are in the overweight range that you are doubling your risk for heart disease and if you are even heavier it is quadrupled. Yikes, hadn't heard it put like that before and it gave me a renewed focus for trying to live a healthy life. Also, the meetings help me a lot and I have support there with the ladies and with the leader if I need it, so I have to remember that and to keep on going matter what.

I really appreciate all of you that commented on my blog recently. It helps to hear words of understanding or encouragement and to hear what wt loss struggles that you have been through too! We all will go through ups and downs on our wt loss journeys, I think there is no way around it. Thank you so much and I hope everyone has a good week.

Rock Bottom

Ok, I admit it. I've hit rock bottom, hit a real low point. I didn't want to make this the wt gain blog or the negative, pessimistic blog but I gotta write what I feel. I fell off the wagon big time. He#l I can't even catch up to the wagon matter how hard I run after it. It's like I've jumped off the high dive in the pool only to find no water at the bottom. I'm laying there thinking "how the heck am I gonna get up, now I'm down and out?". My rationality was that I would eat some crap food and then it would be out of my system. So I had the terriyaki, the chinese, the burgers w/ fries, the taco's w/ mexi fries, the ice cream, the cinnamon roll, etc., etc.....but the real low felt like yesterday. The choice was go to the gym, go to the bookstore or go get some Pad Thai noodles. The noodles won out as I said to myself "you haven't had these in months and you know you want some!" I was eating them and I wasn't even hungry and got sad. This is past food enjoyment, is this punishing myself or what? It's strange to think I used the food to block out bad feelings about some things in my life. Numb myself with food. This is scary territory. I know it's not the lowest I've been. That would be last year in April when I hit 246 and felt real bad about how I looked. So for 8 months I was good, I was on the straight and narrow and eating well week after week with hardly any slip ups. Then when xmas came, I went off program. At first just a little, then down the slippery slope to the bottom. It's not just all about the food, I have other issues in my life and one or two bad thing seems to make my good intention and progress in my wt loss go by the wayside. My wt is fluctuating wildly from up 5 pounds, then down 3, then up, then down. Anyway, just wanted to get this all out and tell you why I haven't been blogging as often. So many of you are doing so well out there and thought I could just get myself out of this but it feels like depression.

The good news is today, I started anew again. I ate right, I exercised for an hour and 1/2. I'm feeling pretty good today compared to yesterday. My goals for next week, starting on Monday I will exercise 5 days per week and I will detoxify as far as eating natural foods and lean meats and quit the processed crap. I'll take it easy this weekend but I do have some social stuff with going out to this adult bowling center w/ 5 other couples. No kids allowed for this and my sister is going to watch my son for the night so that will be nice to have some fun time. Then the super bowl on Sunday but I'm not that into it but it usually involves eating something fattening. I'm off to take my son to a carnival night at his school. Should be fun for him. Everyone have a good week!

Recap from biggest loser seminar

I'm at the library as I have some free time but am away from home so thought I'd write a quick recap of that biggest loser seminar last night. One word, DISAPPOINTED! It wasn't what I thought it would be at all. First problem is that they pack 1000 people into theater seating so chairs are right next to each other and that's trouble when the majority of people there were overweight and couldn't comfortably fit into the chairs so lots of thighs squishing together with your neighbor! There was an local newsman as the emcee and then one speaker was the head of a medical company here and just the regular stuff about that we need to get healthy. Suzy Preston spoke for 10 minutes and half the time was joking about her nylons having a run in them and acting goofy and airheady and kinda flirting with the doctor (the head of the medical company). She also seemed real nervous and flustered. She didn't talk about your wt loss journey much as she said if we watched the show we would know her story. The one point she did make was you need a reason to lose weight. A permanent one, not a temporary goal such as a wedding or for your hubby. She said her reason was that she feels so much better about herself and confident now that she's lost the weight. She did look good and her hair is red now! Her hubby, Matt, was there but he was in the front row and there was about 1000 people there so I couldn't get a look at him.

Then Dr. Dansinger came out to talk and had kind of a funny intro about god vs. the devil and the devil is McDonalds and the like. He kept saying that we live in a obesiogenic(?) world and that convenienence food and fat food is everywhere and easily accessable and it is hard to be healthy. He showed a lot of charts and graphs on how the country is getting fatter and fatter and some charts you couldn't even see well. He did talk about a study he conducted comparing weight watchers, the zone, ornish, and atkins and said that on all of them you can lose some weight over the course of 12 months but the key is adherence to the program. He runs a wt loss clinic at Tufts Univer. and said he uses the biggest loser books among some others and has had success at getting people to lose about 35-40 pounds in 6 or more months. He said the formula he used for calories to be consumed on a wt loss program is 7 calories per pound of body wt. So, I think he means that if you weigh 200, take (200lb x 7cals = 1400 cals. per day). He also recommends working out 30 min 5 times a week at the minimum but an hour or more would be better. He showed clips of success stories from the biggest loser and stated several times that even though the average joe shmoe doesn't have personal trainers and can't go and be on the biggest loser show and away from everyone that you can do this! He said that the people who had lost wt on the show needed to keep on exercising most days of the week and for 90 minutes to keep the wt. off. He said that of the contestants that had been on the show that 1/3 have kept the wt off, 1/3 have put some back on and that the other 1/3 had gained about all of it back. He thought that was pretty good statistics considering they say that 90-95% will gain all the wt back. He equated the wt loss journey to climbing a mountain, like our rainier here, and how it's hard and there are pitfalls and treacherous terrain but when you get to the top the journey is so worth it and the view is beautiful (those aren't the actual words but that was the jist of it).

I feel that the info presented is out there in most wt loss books and I didn't learn anything new. I won't go to this type seminar again. I mean, I really didn't think I could learn anything new as I have read so many books on wt loss, fitness, diet. What I was looking more for was was a shot of inpiration to motivate me but it wasn't that kind of presentation. When I was walking out a lady was saying to her friend "I wanted more how to lose the weight, what I can do on a daily basis rather than all those graphs and statistics charts, I can get those anytime". I tended to agree.

In other news, I've been real sick with a cough and cold so no progress or news on the wt loss front for now. Hope everyone is having a good week!

Success story

Here's a ladies success story of losing 100 lbs and she still has some more to go. http://www.weightwatchers.com/success/art/index.aspx?sc=17&SuccessStoryID=9401
I get ww newsletters from time to time and like to read the success stories. Last time it was a lady that lost 19 pounds. I mean, good for her, but I just can't relate to a small loss so I like these bigger ones. The lady mentions having a inpirational leader named Janice. Hey, that's the name of my leader but I can't tell where this lady is from.

I'm back to jogging again. It's darn hard but I think I notice a slight improvement. I will try to up my distance a little each week. I am darn slow but that's ok. Everyone passes me on the indoor track but oh well. Some of them have so much stamina and seem to go a long distance but others are on the walk one lap, jog 2 laps, that I do for now. I'm doing more wt training and I am sore. I'm doing some hour and half workouts doing 1 hr or more of cardio and then wt training. I'm going to incorporate a little swimming and biking soon. The food intake isn't that great but don't think I'm gaining though I know I am going to be up for not weighing in for a while. I will face it this week and won't look back. I'm not throwing in the towel, it's just a hard time for me right now but I'll get back into the swing of things. It's a weird thing but as I am driving down the road as see restaurants and new places I haven't tried, I'm thinking "I want to eat that and that and that!". Not a good thing, I had gotten rid of that voice for quite a spell and now it's rearing it's ugly head again. I'm trying to figure it out and it takes time. Trying to fake it till I make it on the food front.

Can anyone give me a tip on how do to a hyperlink to a web site. It used to link on it's own when I copied and pasted but not anymore. Thanks.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Biggest Loser Seminar

(Mt. Rainier right before sunset.....like the pink)

I signed up for this weight loss talk/seminar being held in Tacoma this coming Monday. They were advertising it at the Y and it is by Michael Dansinger, MD a expert on diet and obesity. I guess he was a consultant to the Biggest Loser show on diet and fitness plans that helped contestants shed pounds quickly and healthfully. Also speaking will be Suzy Preston from season 2. She is the one that married the winner Matt recently. She is from this area so think that is why she is speaking here. She will talk about her battle with weight, her experience as a contestant on the show, and how she continued to be committed to a healthy, active lifestyle - without personal trainers and tv cameras.

I really haven't watched this show much but it struck my interest and I know some you bloggers out there follow this show. I will let you know what it's like. I'm hoping this will give me some inspiration to keep fighting the weight loss battle.
Hope everyone is having a good week!!

WW dropout?

I usually don't go for the cutesy type stuff but this picture was sent from a good old friend and thought it was cute. I needed it today. Maybe I will go visit this old work friend of mine, I haven't seen her in a really long while and she is only and hour away.

As you could prob. tell my some of my previous entries, I haven't been feeling myself these past few weeks. Seems like my mood and other things going on in my life really have affected my weight loss progress. There is no progress. I didn't go to ww today due to being tired and really not wanting to go. I guess I'm in a time out period. I am feeling guilty about it though. I am exercising quite a bit but my eating is out of line. I'm not sure how to stop it as I don't feel in control. I'm not eating huge amounts or food just the wrong stuff. I would welcome any wise words of wisdom in how to get out of this rut if you have any previous experience with it. Thanks. I will go to the gym today no matter what as that always seems to help me. Well, I thought it could get me with the program and eating right but it hasn't. Really, I'm not quitting and I'm not letting a lapse turn into a large gain just dealing with some personal stuff and a little depression though I'm not sure of the cause. My hubby things I'm distant and unhappy lately and my son is asking if I am cranky today. I need to take notice and do something about it, I'm trying. Another blogger, Jen, was talking of SAD (seasonal affect disorder) and with all our yucky weather sometimes I think I have this. It's due to not having enough sunlight and it can affect your mood. Of course, I think we feel the affects in the winter around here. I really haven't spent too much time outdoors due to hating the cold. I guess it's something to think about. Palm Spring is only 6 or more weeks away.....why do I feel like hopping a plane to Maui?

I been tagged! And other workout stuff

I really haven't been in to blogging lately as it just seemed to me this week I was saying the same old crud. About doing well on the diet and exercise and then not doing so well with it. Was going to write about the zen of weight lifting and how I'm getting into it. I will do a post soon about positive or negative motivation thing/pictures I've had up for some time on my pantry door. One is a fat picture that I hate when we went to Hawaii a few years ago and we had this luau pic done of everyone and I just couldn't believe how fat I was. The other is of me on my honeymoon at a normal weight. I have them up side by side for years on the inside of the pantry door but I rarely look at them. The other day I saw them and was wondering, 'did this ever do me any good as far as motivation?' I'll try to scan them or something to show you or get them on disc so I can post them. My workout has been good, I've been doing long workouts a few days this week and doing about 1 and 1/2 hours and some days and feeling pretty good though I need to pick up some new running shoes....hopefully tomorrow!
I've been tagged by Amanda at 'What about your hips' (sorry can't figure out how to do a hyperlink right now). I enjoy reading her blog as she is one of the most honest and real bloggers out there. Here's the tag:
A- Available or single? Available or single? Isn't that the same thing? I am married :)
B- Best Friend? Her name is Dawn and she lives far away and we really don’t see each other but once a year but I still count her as my best friend though I have others as we can talk about anything and just really have a good time together.
C- Cake or Pie? Chocolate pie or boston cream pie.
D- Drink of Choice? Diet coke but drinking more of the flavored waters.
E- Essential Item? Lately, workout clothes and running shoes.
F- Favorite Color? I like any kind of blue, especially Caribbean blue but like the dark sapphire shade too.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Gummi Bears!
H- Hometown? Oak Harbor, Washington, usa.
I- Indulgence? Chocolate yogurt but lately ww ice creams.
J- January or February? February... valentines day and my birthday month!
K- Kids and names? Yes, Chase.
L- Life is incomplete without? Family, friends, and my health.
M- Marriage Date? August 1991. Man, we’re old married farts.
N- Number of Siblings? 2 sisters Shawn and Denise... both older than me.
O- Oranges or apples? Like them both! But if I had to choose, we love our applies out here in Washington, usually like the red delicious or the braeburn.
P- Phobias/Fears? Snakes, spiders, mice.
Q- Favorite Quote? "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.” Or “It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.”
R- Reason to Smile? When my son or hubby says ‘I Love you’ for no reason.
S- Season? Summer... love the sunshine and warm days.
T- Tag three people! Christie, Sarah (living to feel good), and Fat bitch (if you are reading this) and Spider63! Ok, that was 4 people, oh well.
U- Unknown fact about me? Can’t think of anything too unusual, maybe that I was a scuba dive instructor for years and lived in far way places like Hawaii and Cayman Islands. Seems so long ago now.
V- Vegetable you hate? Brussel sprouts, or cooked spinach. Yech.
W- Worst habit? Nail biter sometimes.
X- X-rays you’ve had? Chest xray for physical, seems to live in the Caymans it is a requirement also that you have an hiv test that is negative…seems like they don’t want anyone working there that is sick. Funny because if they are so paranoid then what about the millions of visitors that can fratanize with those workers? Ha ha. I’ve also recently had a back xray due to a fall I had last spring and also an xray of my finger when I broke it.
Y- Your favorite food? Love pizza or most kinds of pasta but really limiting these types of food lately as they are trigger foods for me.
Z - Zodiac? I’m a pisces and that seems to fit me. I love the ocean and sealife and live in a dreamworld (just kidding) and can be wishy washy and change my mind a lot or have trouble deciding on something and I think I have quite a bit of intuition about people sometimes.
More that you wanted to know I’m sure!! Have a great day!

no weigh in

I admit it, I was a big chicken this week. (bawk, bawk!) I used my "no weigh in" coupon they give you like every 6 months at weight watchers. I didn't want to weigh in, felt that a gain this week would really hurt my morale so I used it. I didn't miss the meeting though. This week wasn't about weight loss but it was a once a year meeting where you spend your fake money you made all year by losing weight on particular weeks or for meeting goals you set. It was like an auction where you bid on things, such as pretty bowls, mystery gifts, haircuts, massages, etc. I ended up getting a mystery bag that had a makeup bag set in it and a gift certificate toward a haircut. It was kind of fun but nothing to do with weight loss really.

I worked out hard yesterday and it felt pretty good. Started jogging again but my toe is bothering me. I think it may be time for a new pair of running shoes. I have asics but thinking maybe they don't really fit my foot well so may try getting some new balance this time. Think I will go to the new balance store but it is a ways away from here. Here is an article mostly about exercise http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2424228&cid=1&code=24429. And here is another one on diet tips http://www.nutrisystem.com/newsletter/weekof/010707/story2.cfm?IID=9087&fc_c=BFpXACA6LtcO&fc_u=AEXhV2. I get these newsletters and some are from wt loss companies and though I don't do their diets sometimes I get some helpful tip from these newsletters.

We got the stinking snow again! Seems each time we get ready to go to preschool, it snows. That's the 4th day of cancelled classes now. Arrgghhh. I notice that on weeks such as the holidays with no school or with the snow days that I get off track on my working out and healthy eating plan. I like the schedule! And when he is in school I get 2 hours to myself and that I miss. If the roads are ok, I will go to the gym as he is supposed to go swimming class later but we'll see if it still is on.

I will weigh in next week! I have to. I guess I'm in a time out period right now and I guess that's ok for now, I'm not going to beat myself up over it as that doesn't accomplish anything. I'm going to work on a list of "things I look forward to when I'm at my healthy weight" or something. Hope everyone is having a good week!

Feel like I'm climbing a slippery mountain

Here is Mt. Rainier from the view from the back of our house. Some days you can't see it very well but today it's out and it's beautiful. I especially like looking at it when it's late afternoon and the sun is going down and the mountain has a pink hue to it. Awesome. I hope that sucker never blows cause we'll be in trouble. You never know cause, Mt. St. Helens did years ago but I lived farther away then. Ash even came as far north as I was then about 5 hours away by car.

Well, I feel like I'm climbing a mountain these past few weeks. One step forward, two steps back. Exercising like crazy, then not exercising much at all due to weather. Eating good, then eating crap food like long ago, eating out way too much and too late at night. Not sure how I'm gonna get my head right. I haven't gotten really out of control but it's a reminder how far I need to go to get my head, body and health in order. Sometimes, you lose your way a little and it takes a while to get that mojo back. I mean I want this, I want to get to goal and to a healthy weight. What is holding me back?? The million dollar question I suppose. All I know is I can't throw in the towel as I really have made quite a bit of progress this past year. What the he*l is it? Fear of failure? Couldn't get my daddy's love? Self esteem telling me I can't or don't deserve it?? I tell you it's mind boggling some days and I get tired of the fight. But what is the alternative?? Going to a fatter body and not moving as much and feeling like crap?? NO WAY! I'm not going back, hear that fat! It's war and I will win this time. I think exercise is the key for me to stay on track so off to the gym in a few minutes as the roads are better.

On a happier note, my son and I are going down to Palm Springs at the end of February for my bday. My parents and another couple are going down there (snowbirds) instead of Arizona this year. I hope it's warm, and I can't wait!! My sis is going to Maui this summer and would love to go but don't think it's going to happen. It's for their 25th wedding anniversary and they are taking their boys too. Would be fun too as we still have some friends on Maui since we lived there years ago but most have moved on. Sometimes you get that island fever. Believe it or not, it is paradise but I got the island fever too and couldn't stay too long. It is so far away from family and from everything. You can't just get in your car and drive too far. Just around the island. I do miss the laid back atmoshere and slower pace of life, that's for sure! Have a great week everyone!!

Snow again

We have had snow again in Washington the last two days! We have been busy building snow men and going sledding. My son is happy there is no school but he's bummed if we can't make it to his swimming lesson. Here's a picture of chase and his snowman and one of our view out back. Usually we have a beautiful view of Mt. Rainier out by those trees but today there's clouds in the way. We are kinda out in the country and near a few of the last remaining farms in our area. They have done major development and house building north of us. We are worried that if the old farmer out back ever sells or passes on, the property will be sold and then there will be a view of a bunch of houses some day. We do have a wetland that buffers a little.

I haven't been to the gym the past few days due to the weather and I suppose sledding isn't cutting it. So, if the weather doesn't improve I will try to get on my treadmill or do a exercise tape. Sometimes I don't feel like working out at home I find it boring and easy to procrastinate. The gym gets me motivated, as long as I just get in the door! I hope everyone is having a good week!

Latest update and felt need for a separate private blog

I thought I'd update that I'm up a pound this week. No real surprise there for me. I have been a little off track since Christmas. But I'm not sweating about it cause I know I can get it off. If not this week then next for sure! It seems some of my food cravings or past addictions have come back. I have felt so in control most weeks since I began this journey on May 1st.

I actually made a post called 'the dark side of addiction' having to deal with the past and some of my family problems, specifically my father, and how that has affected me today. After putting it on this blog, for all in blogland to see, I thought better of it. It was too real and too painful for me to share with the world. Now that I've got your interest, ha! I decided to create a private blog where only a few can see. This will help protect me and my family with things I'm not ready to share with everyone and in case any of my family have found their way here. If you really feel the need to read it, leave me your email and I'll let you see it.

I will keep this blog for the intention that it was created - for a weight loss and fitness journal and a few details of my so called 'life'. This will still be my main blog. I hope everyone is having a good week!!!

Working it

Went to the gym 3 days in a row and very happy about being back on track with working out. (Love the endorphin high!) I did some punishing workouts, I mean longer for me at 1hr 45 minutes for 2 days and 1hr 30 today. Doing mostly jogging, elliptical and other cardio but started doing weight lifting again yesterday. I felt I needed to up the intensity and really get going on trying to get my fitness to a higher level. I talked about it before but my goal is to do the danskin mini triathalon in August so I want to step it up this year. I think I need a training schedule and will come up with one soon so I can incorporate jogging, swimming and biking. Now I just have to figure out how to keep the motivation going, some days you gotta dig deep as I like to call it!

Funny thing is that because I was tired today, thoughts of food kept on popping into my head. Especially comfort type foods like mac n cheese, pizza, potatoes and couldn't relate it physical hunger just emotional? Or because I was tired? Once I started doing my weight lifting then I focused on that and forgot about the food. Once in a while I find myself fighting this battle with thoughts of food, food that isn't so good for me. Usually I win this food battle and it goes away. Funny how it always comes around when I don't sleep well. Anyone else notice this pattern in themselves? Here's an article about 'killing your food cravings and taming the beast within' http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2078473&cid=33. I think a lot of us already employ these tactics. I wish it was easier at times and we just want to eat healthy all the time but temptations are everywhere and they aren't going away. I didn't get to my size by hating food that's for sure!!

In other news, nothing too exciting happening in my life right now. We want to go up the mountain and try some snowshoeing or go sledding and we will one of these weekends. How's everyone doing out there on their working out and wt loss this week? Not sure if I will see a loss next week as I'm making up for lost time.

No excuses

Here's some of my favorite gifts from xmas. It's one of those ipod nano's that I'm gonna wear on an armband to work out with some tunes and a ironman watch to start timing my running or swimming. I'm psyched to start using them tomorrow!

I didn't weigh in today as I had to go up north of Seattle to pick up my son as he decided he wanted to be up at Grandma's with his cousins for some new year's eve fun. I don't think I'm going to WW this week and I am offering up no lame excuses, though my regular monday meeting was on a holiday. I probably should go just to get by head in order as I feel myself slipping at times on my healthy eating plan. Nothing major except for maybe that Red Robin bbq chicken burger, or those quesadilla chicken roll ups or that Dave's BBQ Chicken burger w/ fries! Yikes! See a bbq theme here. Ha! But I have been having good days too with eating healthy veggies and salads. My weigh in at home shows me up a pound up so I will attempt to get that off this week. I got in 2 workouts last week and will strive for 4 this week. My hubby was home all week and we ate out more than usual and the holiday, yikes. We were both pretty lazy this week compared to our usual weeks. We didn't make it up to the mountain or to a movie, just spent some good quality time together and had a quiet new year's eve at home. (Maybe these are lame excuses!)

Here's a photo of us at xmas eve at Mom's. She said, "Patty, you don't have to hide behind anyone anymore!" Old habits die hard I suppose. I hope everyone has a good week!!