I've been tagged! 4 things about me

I've been tagged by Feisty Roo,

Four Things About Me

4 Jobs I've Had

Administrative Assistant, Hotel sales manager, scuba dive instructor, airline resv agent

4 Movies I watch over and over

(seems I never have time lately) Wedding crashers, matrix, point break, american beauty (I'm a big Keanu Reeves fan and like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaugh too!) These aren't my all time favorite movies but didn't want to think too hard this morning!

4 places I have lived

Washington state, California, Maui, Cayman Islands (among others! I had a terrible habit of moving a lot when I was younger but it was fun too!)

4 Tv Shows I watch

(I can't find time to watch any shows due to my 5 yr old controlling the tv!) So arggggghhh, cartoon network, funniest home videos, grey's anatomy

4 Places I've been on Vacation

Hawaii, Bonaire, Cayman Islands, Sweden/Austria(but since having a kid just get to vegas or other states)

4 Websites I visit Everyday

sometimes blogger friends, aol news, horoscopes, my school website/online portal

4 Favorite Food

pizza, mexican food, thai food, choc. ice cream (no wonder I'm dreaming about these foods as I'm not eating them!)

4 Places I'd rather be right now

Maui!, Mexico, Caribbean, Galapagos (never been but want to go someday!)

4 Favorite Band/ Singers

right now kinda like, Jack Johnson, Howie Day, Hinder, Black Eyed Peas/Fergie

4 Bloggers I'll tag

Christie, Fat Bitch, Marshmallow, Living to Feel Good

Maintain during the holidays? I've heard it twice now

My w. watcher leader was telling us a while back to just maintain during the holiday season. But it seemed a week later she was wanting us to make a small wt loss goal to be accomplished by the end of the year. (Seemed like a double standard) This was before Turkey day and I just wanted to get to 199 by the end of the year so I should be able to get there. I saw this article about comfort food and to just maintain throughout the holidays and how stress of the holidays can make you eat. http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2423262&cid=1&code=24422. I guess I just don't want to just maintain, I want to lose a little more. I guess I have it in my mind that I want to lose so much per month, I have it all charted out till next August when I may be close to goal. I know I prob. won't meet my goal then as the wt loss will slow at certain times and especially when I get closer to goal which won't be for quite a while.

Here is another article about 5 Holiday weight gain myths http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2423260&cid=33&code=24423. I have never done ediets but somehow I got on their newsletter lists. Some of this info we all already know but doesn't hurt to read it again I suppose.

I found this afternoon and evening I was just ravenous and wanted to eat everything. I think I need to change what I eat and start eating more often and more veggies. How's everyone doing out there this week? I'm doing a lot of walking, elliptical, and some weights. I will swim tomorrow as it's a pretty slow day at the gym. God, how I hate getting on the swimsuit but I am enjoying swimming again and it keeps me from becoming bored at the gym.

weight related articles and finally the picture is up and SNOW!

Wow, finally got this picture to work. It wouldn't work when I tried to edit the other post. Strange. This is Ron (hubby) and Chase last summer after a 200+ mile bike ride. He has done a few triathalons too and now the 1/2 marathon. I'm proud of him and likes that he's found a hobby he enjoys. Though, it does take a lot of time to train!

We got quite a bit of snow, which is unusual for our area. We had no school and swimming so we went sledding and tried to build a snowman. It seems the roads are better so we will venture out as I'm getting bored.

Here is a link to a few weight loss related articles. One from Pamela Peeke about stress can cause tummy fat http://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/weight_loss/ten_tips.html and the other about how ridiculing fat people doesn't help http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/01/AR2006110102969.html?referrer=email. It makes me sad when I hear stories of people being made fun of just because of weight but I've had my own issues with this too. I hope everyone is having a good week out there!

Wow! Got a loss after turkey day!

I'm happy today cause got a loss of -2.4 today!!! WoooooHooooo!! I'm not sure how that happened, the body is a weird thing. I showed really little wt loss the last few weeks and I'm sure it had to do with water retention last week but then I don't try this week as turkey day and hurting my leg so I didn't exercise much and just ate in moderation and now a bigger loss. Ok, got my star today for getting to -45.8!! I can't wait for 50 pds and only need a loss bigger than .8 next week or 2 to get to that elusive 199!! I'm psyched. I knew if I just kept at it there's no way this fat can outlast me.

Sorry, I couldn't get the picture of my hubby and son to go on the last post! I will try tomorrow as I will have more time as school is tonight! Can't wait, 2 more weeks and I'm done for the quarter. Then, I plan on spending more time on the blog and trying to get it to look better. Can't figure the photo thing out as I have been using 'imageshack' that Christie told me about and it was working and now nothing. It seems to work and then I try to put it on the blog and it won't show up. I'm not too teckie so can't figure out why. Hope everyone is doing ok this week! And I'll check on your blog soon if I haven't already.

nice holiday and seeing family and friends

(Picture is of my hubby, Ron and Chase last summer after a bike race, (guess I should ask him if I should share it but oh well!)

We had a nice holiday at my mom's and it was low-key this year with just a few people. My sister's were at their in-laws but I did see one of them later in the day as she lives in the same town as my mom. It is on Whidbey Island, up near the San Juan Islands. I grew up there and when I was young, I couldn't wait to get away. But now, I appreciate the beauty of the island and the little bit slower pace of life there (though it is growing). Saw an old friend from high school that I don't see much so that was nice and then went xmas shopping and got a good start on getting some gifts. I hate the crowds though! Then we went to Seattle, wished I took some pictures to show you! We stayed at a nice hotel so my son could go swimming and then went to dinner and took my son to Gameworks (a big video game place). On Sunday (today) my hubby did the 1/2 marathon. It was raining and just real yucky out today for the race and he wasn't walking too well when he was done. But he's happy that he went a lot faster than he had last summer running the 13 miles. I'm just hoping he didn't pull something as he really didn't prepare and run as much as he should have for this race. I saw a lot people staying at the hotel that I could tell ran the race too. I saw one lady that my hubby had met and she was totally fit w/ a hard body and she's 46! She ran with her daughter and I thought that was cool. Then, I thought, I'm younger than her, and maybe I should get into this!! I can't image thought what it would take. I don't think I've ever run more than 2 miles. I haven't really reached that stage where I enjoy running yet. I do like how you feel after, that kinda runner's high.

I took it easy with eating this week but I didn't count points and didn't exercise too much. I wanted a little break from writing down points and my leg was hurting. So, not sure what the scale will say. Of course, I got on the scale a little while ago and it looks ok, no gain yet, so a little surprised by that. So maybe I'll get a maintain this week and hoping for no gain. Hope everyone had a great week!

slight loss this week and have a breather from school

Sometimes I feel like doing this to my scale at home!!! Just because sometimes I get tired of being accountable to it and wish I could just toss it out the window! No, it is going slow but did show a small loss of -.4 this week. So, baby steps, I guess at this point and at least it is going in the right direction. I did see my scale dip down to 199.5 this week! But I know it is a few pounds difference from the weight watchers scale so I'll probably have to wait a few weeks before I see that number on their scales. Anyone ever weigh in nude at the meeting? Ha ha. Then I could be at onederland!. Then no one would ever go to meetings if they had to face that kind of torture.

Well, at least I am done with my back to back tests and lab wasn't as good as I wanted but other test was good. They were brutal and it felt like mid terms though we only have about 3 more weeks to go. Hurray! The stress was getting to me. I did exercise 4 x this week and didn't journal my food every day so I will be better this week. I don't know what happenned but a new yoga teacher was filling in for the usual one and it was like yoga on speed! She moved so fast through the moves I really didn't like it. I felt a little sore the next day. And then ran earlier in the week and no problem but then ran yesterday and today I have major hip, upper or outside leg pain. I didn't push it more than usual so not sure what is going on. I've decided to take a hiatus from jogging until I drop more weight cause this is painful. Anyone out there took up jogging and been bothered by aches and pains?

We are off to go look at larger screen tv's as we might get one for xmas. Hope everyone has a great turkey day and I hope to at least maintain this week.

Getting to know you, do this on your blog too!

I saw this getting to know you questionnaire thing on 'whataboutyourhips' blog (amanda) so thought I'd borrow it. Put it on your blog too so we can learn a little about each other!

DO YOU SNORE? No, not usually. Can’t stand it when my husband snores, have to poke him to get him to roll on his side or go sleep in another room.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? I am a lover. Don’t fight too good but have a memory like an elephant and can use that in my arsenal, ha! It takes me a whole lot to get me mad. Rarely has anyone seen me mad.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? Anything happening to my family.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? No

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV? I like some of it.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? Yes, sometimes.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? kinda cute but too bald.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? Used to be a long time ago. Enjoyed my freedom and just drinking and having fun with my friends. Married life is good too; wouldn’t trade it .

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Sometimes.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No, but I want to learn to sky diving when I get to my weight goal. I love to scuba dive, if that counts for doing something more extreme.

ANY SECRET TALENTS? Well, can play the piano. Told I am good at putting out fires (work related) and staying calm in the eye of the storm and mediating problems between others.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Love to go to a warm tropical location with crystal blue water and go out to scuba dive and then come back to lay on the beach and have a tropical drink with someone special while watching the sun go down.

CAN YOU SWIM? Yes, I am swimming ½ mile once a week in the pool. Hate getting on the swimsuit though! Want to train for a mini triathalon for next summer.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? No.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? Yes, try to use ozone friendly products, etc.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? 300? Don’t know! That’s an old joke.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? No, but I swear when I was pulled over once when I was 19 and at college a cop pulled me over late at night w/ my friends and asked me to recite it backward. I’m like ‘who could even do that?’. He was looking for drunk college kids and thankfully I was the designated driver and sober.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER? Electric.

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? For sport, I’m not in favor of it.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? Been married 15 years!

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? So, so.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? nothing really but did get a reaction from a certain med. that was precribed to me.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”? Last night to my child.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? Not usually but sometimes, if I’m close to the person I'll tear up a little.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Scrambled or over easy.

ARE BLONDES DUMB? No!

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? I don't know, in the space time continuum?

WHAT TIME IS IT? 9:27pm

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? Depends on the person, sometimes babycakes to my sister, sometimes poker (to old friends). Used to be a rhyme, 'Pitty, Patty, Poke, Shoe a wild colt'(grandma used to sing).

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING? No not usually, but have really limited my eating there after that Supersize Me movie. I do eat there fruit/walnut salads. My son loves to get the toys in the happy meals there but kinda hate they cater to kids with the meals and toys and the food is mostly crap.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? About 8pm, went to the grocery store.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Showers usually but do like a nice hot bubble bath once in a while. Better if it is for two!!

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? In our house it is this year!

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? Yes, usually.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No, not really. Unless I am in a big city and feeling uneasy in a cruddy part of town.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? Lately – exercise.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? creamy.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? No.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? No.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? Yes, now. Not to say I didn’t party a little in my younger years. I hardly drink anymore either, as my husband doesn’t anymore.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? No, I wake up at the slightest peep.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? Yes, most days.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC? No, but I have good intuition that once in a while I listen to and it steers me in the right direction.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE? No, but heard of it.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? I can play piano a little.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? No.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? No, but I can ski pretty good!

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? Sometimes if it’s not too cold.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? Not usually.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? No.

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND? No, people are though I like dogs too.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? I wouldn’t want it for myself, but I do see some that don’t divorce and they should - they making themselves miserable and their children. Or some just settle in old age and live in separate bedrooms and lives. It's sad and I'm determined that won't happen to me.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? No.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? Not usually, but once in a while.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? Mild, probably 50 fahrenheit. But I feel we are going to have a bad winter.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Oriental chicken salad.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? Once in a while. For a reward, I will soon get a pedicure!

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW? Like my family and friends, and most people I meet.

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? Just that there are too many on all the time!

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT? Think it’s called ‘lips of an angel’ by Hinder.

stress and feeling like I'm in slow mo and why I chose angelfish!

Have been getting real stressed out this week with my anatomy/phys. class. We dissected cat muscles for 2 weeks and finally had the test on the cats and human cadaver and it was damn hard! I'm pissed I wasn't as prepared as much as I though I was. We had to know the origin of the muscle the insertion onto the bone and the action that it makes. It seemed she showed things in different orientations, (front, back, side) and I got confused sometimes what she was pointing at! I'm just glad we are moving on the the nervous system and brain. Anyway, another long test on Saturday that takes me like 12-14 hours or more but at least it's a take home test but I hate the essays! Hope I didn't gross anyone out!

It feels like I'm in slow motion for my wt loss lately. The scale will go down 2 pounds and then a few days later it's up two pounds though I am still on the ww program and eating within my points range and exercising, cardio/weights/yoga. Only thing that has changed is the stress level I'm feeling. I am trying to practice patience, patience, patience. Just need to keep that as my mantra. I would really like a loss come Monday but we'll see.

In case you were wondering why I chose Angelfish as my blogger name, it is because I used to be a scuba instructor and just like those angelfish! Also, my dad is an Alaska fisherman and so fish and the ocean has always been in my blood. Last, but not least, I'm a pisces sign and feel I have to be near and live in driving distance to the ocean! I really enjoyed my time in Hawaii and the Cayman Islands when my hubby and I used to teach. Seems like a lifetime ago. When I need to go to my happy place, like we do when in yoga to de-stress and relax, I always find my thoughts returning to the ocean and beach on a sunny day! What I wouldn't do to go on a warm vacation at this time of year. It's funny though, when I first started blogging this summer I was just replying to Fat B's site and though I was just signing in to comment actually on a post of hers about patience and now that's the name of my blog. Ha, don't want to change it now though! It's a good quality for me to have now that the wt loss is slowing. (Though it would be funny to have a nice blog name like 'thin girl within' or 'fat buster' or something!) Hope everyone is doing well this week!!!

What's your plan for the holidays?

What is everyone's plan for the holidays? Will you continue on the wt loss journey, go for a maintain, or a gain? I choose, a little wt loss this season. A week ago at ww, we were asked to pick a goal to achieve by the end of the year (called storyboarding). I chose to get to wonderland, I mean onederland and never return to 200 (ha, I hope)!! Need to lose about 4 to get to 199. I'll settle for 199 point whatever. I don't want to go off and gain and that would just put me a month or two behind. Not going to happen this time! You can kick me in the butt if I don't heed my own advice! Also, what is your plan on Turkey day? I will bring a veggie/fruit tray and I will make the lowfat ww pumpkin cheesecake or some other dessert. I will eat that dessert and no other and if no one likes it then so be it! Most of the sister's are going to their in laws anyway so we won't have a huge crowd at my mom's this year. I asked her to tone down the menu and not make as much food as she always does but I can only ask. Tell me what you will do these next 6 weeks? We can do this, we just need to keep exercising and choose to do this! I am in control of what goes in my mouth, not the food!!! (Off do do my studying of the darn cat and human muscles for my big lab test tomorrow! Why the heck am I procrastinating on the web!!arrgghh!!)

very slight loss this week

Well, I was a little disappointed that my weight only changed -.2 this week. I didn't journal all my points food every day though I'm pretty sure I was still in my points range as I only ate a little more on one day. I did increase my weight workout and had sore muscles over the weekend so I could be gaining some slight muscle mass. I looked back over my excel weight track that I have made and for the past couple of months, I would have 3 weeks of loss and then no loss or slight gain/loss (usually a week before time of month). So could be bloating and just the way my weight loss is going to happen. It's funny though, when I got on the scale at home today and could tell I was about the same if not more (I was down a few a few days ago), I thought, we should just go out to breakfast and have anything I want. Then, I thought, no!! That wouldn't be progress. It's these little baby steps and eating right and going to gym, it will pay off, it has paid off and there is no throwing in the towel this time! I will get to my goal in due time and to onderland in December probably as the holidays will be tough as I will be out of town and out of my element. Gotta run off to night school. Hope everyone is having a good week!

assumptions and observations

As I mentioned, I have turned into a gym rat and go to the Y at least 5 or more times per week. As I started jogging and doing yoga I noticed a young hard bodied lady who seems real fit. I see her jogging effortlessly, doing yoga like a pretzel and see her quite often at the gym. I assumed she was young and single and has all the time in the world to keep her hard body. I assumed wrong when I went I saw her get her 6-7 yr old daughter out of the daycare and think I saw her with a school aged son the other day too. Why do I assumed that someone doesn't have kids cause they have a fit body? I tell myself that I shouldn't make assumptions about people but we all seem too. Why do I think that when some people have kids (like myself) that it is the beginning of at least 20lb extra on your body that is hard to be rid of? At the gym, I see a lot of mom's that are either a little overweight or look pretty darn good! Some of my friends who are mommies are in that category, they have an extra 20 lbs or they are fit and looking good. Why did I fall into that thinking like 'I used to be fit, when I was young and before kids'. I'm not buying it anymore! We all can have a fitter and thinner version of ourselves if we put in the hard work and change our eating habits for good. That's my plan anyway! (I can't seem to make this blog do paragraphs, help anyone?) On another note, my ww leader confessed that when she is at a party or out and about, she will mentally look around the room or area and figure out the percentage of overweight people! I was like, arrrggghhh! She said it is from being in the wt loss profession. Usually she will see a great many overweight people, say 60% or more. At a recent ww leaders meeting she went to of 400 or more people, there was only like 4 that had a little weight on them. It makes sense, they have to look good and fit to lead meetings. We need an incentive that they can be successful in their wt loss and maintain it. I was reading another blogger site, 'half my size' a while back where she says that she will compare herself to others and think 'am I fatter or skinnier than that person'. I was like, I try not to do that! But I think we all do to some degree. I do it more like this. I will see a person jogging around the indoor track and I'm like, 'she's a good runner, why can't I be then?' Or 'she looks damn good for her age, why can't I to?' Or if you see a really heavy person, you think, I never want to be like that. I can't let my weight affect my mobility as I get older. I don't want to slow down like I have been for a long time. I want to be active and a part of everything in life again. Not be on the sidelines watching. What are your thoughts out there on these topics? Hope everyone is having a good week!

emotional fitness (article and other thoughts)

Here's an article that I got on my email. It is asking, "are you emotionally fit"? Having to do with not dealing with emotions and how that relates to being overweight. Here's the link http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/1/cmi_2422446/cid_33/code_24289/. I've never seen it put quite like that. As I reflect on what they are saying, yeah, I know I have used food to stuff down some emotions. Especially stress! Just eat and the stress will go away! Ha, well it worked sometimes but then I felt guilty for over indulging. Also, I think I wasn't really ready to go on this weight loss journey until I or (we, me and hubby) dealt with some simmering marital issues about a year and 1/2 ago. We decided finally to go to therapy and that helped immensely. Not sure why I am sharing that, it's just that was one of the reason that I was stalling and yo yo ing on my weight. Unresolved feelings that needed to be dealt with. Sometimes, you get problems and you sweep them under the rug and think you can deal with it. Before you know it you have a huge pile of crud and man, it really stinks and you have to deal with it or it will get the best of you. Anyway, on other topics, I'm more dedicated than ever to get to onderland! It has been like 6 or more years since I've been there and it will feel good. And then around the corner at around -50 will be the 1/2 way point. Can't wait! I am a little worried about the holidays but do have a plan of action. I will bring fruit or veggie trays to snack on at holiday get togethers. I will remember that it is a holi-day, not holi-week or holi-season!! (in the words of w. watchers). How will all you out there in blogland deal with the holidays?

Had a loss this week!

Had a loss of -1.4lb this week! Woohoo. I've decided to be happy with whatever loss the scale will show as I know it will get harder to lose more as it already has this past month. I will be happy w/ at least a 1lb loss each week (if not more) as I know weeks are coming next year that I will wish for a pound loss. Closing in on the elusive 199 but it will take me longer than I thought it would. Probably just in time for Thanksgiving and then I will really have to watch it over the holidays as that is always a really hard time for me to stay on program. Our leader said just to maintain over the holidays. I would like to continue losing a little over the holidays if I can. Gotta rush today to get to night school tonight, so bye. Hope everyone is doing ok this week!

Ever have one of those days?

That's what's been wrong on certain weeks! I've been weighing myself all wrong! Well, have you ever had one of those days? It's started out good, we fiddled around at home, it was a no school day so took my son to the gym. I worked out for an hour and promised him we would go swimming after. So, we swam and I knew it was getting late as I was supposed to go to meet his Dad after work to drop off my son as I was going to meet my ladies group for a lesson on salsa dancing in Seattle. It's about hour or hour 1/2 to Seattle from where I live. First, I was running late after I figured out what to wear for salsa. Then, it was raining cats and dogs for like 24 hours and traffic was horrendous. So, we missed meeting my husband at the train station and so drove around for like 1 1/2 hrs and then had to backtrack to meet him on the other end of the train. We stopped to go to the bathroom and while I was trying to hurry, I bonked my food good on a door stopper attached to the door and bruised my foot real good. By that time I was crying from the pain and picked up my hubby and just said Fu*k it! I wasn't meant to go to Seattle tonight and just went out to dinner w/ the family. Some days, I would like to just stay under the covers but I know can't. And I'm bummed that I missed the salsa lesson and dance and girls night out! Oh well, mama said we would have days like these...Now, off to do my all day take home test. At least it's a takehome but it's darn hard and going to take me all day and night. And sick w/ a major cold! Ok, miss negative, let's find some postive from these experiences. Hope everyone is having a better weekend than me!

Had fun on Halloween

We had a fun time taking our son out trick or treating with our friends and their daughter. They got lots of candy and that was prob. cause one guy basically dumped all of his candy in their buckets as he wanted to be done giving out treats. We got a but*load of snickers, want any? I'm having a little trouble staying away from the candy but just trying to limit myself to 2 pieces for 2-3 days. Guess I was feeling a little deprived due to being pretty strict with my diet. Here's some pics of me and my son and him and his girlfriend. They were Anakin Skywalker and a good witch. It was nice to see their parents too as the girls dad has been working on the east coast for like 1 1/2 years or more so it's always nice for them to have him visit. Well, I've been messing around with my points on ww and kind of tried eating high points one day (and exercised a lot on that day) and then low points and take it easy on the exercise. So far seems to be working as the scale seemed to jump up after high day and jump way down after the low day. So, maybe there is something to this wendie plan. I'll see what happens come Monday and hope to have a good weekend. How is everyone doing out there? Staying away from the candy if you have any left? Maybe my son can hide it from me. ha ha. A big thanks to Christie for helping to get my photos posted! I'm having trouble w/ the blogger and have a lot to learn! Have a good week!

Lost one pound this week

Lost one pound this week!!! While I am happy the scale is going in the right direction and no plateau's, I have been experimenting with exercising 6 times per week and eating to my points range (26) and not using much flex pts but using some exercise points on w. watchers. It doesn't seem to be making me lose any more than 1 or 1 1/2 per week. I guess I thought, burning more calories, and really journaling carefully what I eat would reward me with at least a 2 lbs loss. My scale showed down 2 lbs. but gotta go with the ww scale at the meetings. They have 3 different scales and I bet if I weighed on each of them it would be a different result. It seems if I go on a certain one, then I don't lose as much as my scale at home says. I know, why am I bitchin. I guess it's cause it's been 6 months on the program as of today and down 41 lbs. I know that is good and hope to lose that much in the next 6 months. I lost 9 lbs. the first month and then was on track for 7 lbs a months till the last 2 months and prob. just 6 lbs a month. I'm not sure why it is slowing. Think that these next 60 lbs that I want off will be slower than I want. It seems to be getting harder to get off. Gone are the occassional loss of 2 or 3 lbs. Just not happening anymore! Maybe I'm eating to little? I'm not sure. I guess I'll fiddle with my points range a bit to see if I can get bigger results. Why else would it be I'm working harder than ever and my body is fighting to hang on to the fat? It must be that note I wrote to my fat about giving up 1lb a week! My fat is not giving me more than that! ha ha I can't wait till I get under 200 but it may be a little longer than I had hoped! Hope everyone is doing well this week. Looking forward to Halloween tomorrow and have a rare night off of school due to the instructor being ill. Woooohooo!!!!

Good athletic support is hard to find

Been out looking for sport bras this weekend. It's a hard job, as some of you women that are well endowed like me can attest. It takes a while to find a good one. Finally decided on the Moving Comfort bra. It seems to work fine as we went jogging today and it's better than my champion one. I tried on the one that Oprah recommends called the Enell. It is more like a bustier in size and style and you button it up the front w/ about 10 hooks. It does support you better than any other bra I've seen but it's seems thicker and heavy duty. It has a big seam right across the front and I didn't like that much. My hubby thinks I'm being picky but if you have a shirt over it, all I see is this big horizontal line. It is also the pricest sports bra I've see at like $50-60. So, I will think about this one but it prob. would be best if I really do this triathalon next summer. Anyway, enough about bras, if there are any men reading this I'm sure you are bored stiff! We had a good weekend as we went to Seattle to shop for me and for my hubby to check out a triathalon store. We went to an area called Lake Union and to Greenlake and had a good day. There were so many people walking and running around the lake, it brought back old memories for me when I was young and single and living in Seattle. We then went to the Seattle Center later that has the space needle and went to the kiddie rides and games and putt putt golf. My son had a good time and he deserved it after our day of looking around sport shops. Today, we went to a pumpkin farm and did the big corn maze and hay maze and picked out a pumpkin. My son is excited for Halloween and will be Anakin Skywalker. My friend will have us over for dinner and she will make spooky food like mummy dogs and spider deviled eggs and I'll bring some halloween type dessert. Our children (ages 4 and 5) will go trick or treating, so should be fun. I'm not really looking forward to all the candy he will get as I will want to have some. As far as weight loss, it's going well and expect a loss tomorrow so will post the results. Gotta go study my anatomy. Hope everyone had a good weekend!

doing well and on program but my class is grossing me out!

I'm doing well on my eating and exercising a lot. The running is going about the same, can go for 1 mile but it's still hard and I'm always thinking 'when am I gonna be done?'. I figure I will take it slow and be able to run 3 miles by next summer. I did get some nice asics running shoes so enjoying that and my toe pain has gone away!! We went out to eat tonight at this Zao Noodle bar and it was real good. All kinds of asian noodle style dishes and also chinese food. Had a dan dan noodles which are big noodles with veggies and chicken in kind of a peanut type sauce. I haven't over indulged this week so it will be fine and in my points range for the week but it's always hard to judge the calories at a new restaurant. As for my night class in Anatomy/physiology it is going well. Got an A on 2 tests and not sure about the lab test yet. I've never had a teacher take so long to grade tests. Sometimes it's a week with her! OK, gross alert! Gross Alert! If you don't want to hear about dissection don't read!!!! But was is grossing me out is that we had to do a cat dissection! The smell and the skinning, etc. aaarrrggghhh, wanted to barf but I must do this to pass the class. Thank god one of my lab partners used to work on a farm and seems perfectly at ease with this project. We have to use it the next 2 weeks to look at muscle, etc. I got off easy before when we didn't have to do this in another class. Next, is the human body! Holy heck! No, I have seen a cadaver before and just have to look and don't have to touch hopefully! I just have to have the right attitude and know there is an end to the means. But, I can't help but not have much of an appetite this week due to this so that's one positive point. Maybe I'll help some of you not to have an appetite either! Bluck!!! Anyway, not sure why I shared that with you. Hope everyone is having a awesome week and have a great weekend!

Do we choose to be fat?

A while back I was reading a book and I can't remember which one as I have read a ton of wt loss book, motivational books, online resources, etc. One was saying that we 'choose to be fat'. I was like 'what!?!'. Most of us would never choose to be fat if we were given the simple choice. We would choose thin in a heartbeat in this wt conscious world. What they were saying was that by continuing your same behaviors such as not exercising or eating fattening foods we are choosing to stay fat. I guess that's true to some degree but it doesn't go deep enough. They are not considering the emotional issues that some people have that make them turn to food. Food is their drug of choice. I suppose it's better than alcohol or drugs or other but it can be harmful and cause a variety of illnesses as we age. Well, you hear the saying, 'do or do not, there is no try' (by yoda) and there is truth to that. If we 1/2 assed do the program we will get 1/2 assed results. If we don't look at the deeper issues within ourselves why we're overweight, then we won't lose the weight. We will keep on yo yo ing down in weight and then back up. I know, I've done it for years! It's because I never gotten to the heart of the matter, why I've used food as a solace instead of sustenance. This time, I've been digging deep and it's been hard but worth it. I want to live a healthy life and decrease my chances for these dreaded diseases like diabetes and heart disease which I'm surely could have hit me due to my fast food habits and stress. When people say they are stuck in a rut I do kinda think they choose to do that. Doesn't mean they can't get out of it. But, we all know, we all have to do it ourselves. We have to look deep. Doesn't mean we can't get outside help. My ww meetings help me somewhat to deal with emotional type issues but it might not be enough for others. I do feel that the leader would be there for me is I really had something I needed help with or encouragement. But, they are not a therapist. I am all for therapy if people need help! It's not a weakness it's just a hand up. Anyway, I came across a small article called 'why you aren't losing weight'. It's not the how to lose it's the why. Here it is http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=1076941&cid=7&code=24429 . Food is not our enemy. It can seem to control us if we let it. Who is the boss anyway? We control what we put in our mouths and why.

What I look forward to when I'm thin

What I look forward to when I’m thin:

1)Not having to shop at the chubby ladies stores like Lane Bryant or any plus sized section of a store.
2)Feeling comfortable in airline seats and movie theater seats or any chair (this is already happening!)
3)Seeing my reflection in the mirror or window and not noticing all my lumps and bumps. Not wondering ‘who is that?’ and not recognizing myself when I see a reflection is a store window.
4)Being energetic and able to keep pace with my son and play (starting to happen!)
5)Be able to do a mini triathalon next summer and feel good about it
6)Feel more comfortable when being intimate w/ hubby and not thinking of my flaws.
7)Getting a new wardrobe as it will be a whole new size that I’ll be in and I’ve long since threw out my skinny clothes!
8)Getting my cholesterol under 200 and just feeling real good about eating nutritious foods and not the crap that the food industry is trying to push on us (starting to happen!)
9)Actually be satisfied with less food, smaller portions (starting to happen!)
10)To not feel deprived when I see someone eat something that I would like to have but don’t.
11)To finally feel like one of my friends, not the biggest one in the room and feeling self conscious about it!
12)To take pride in my appearance and what my body can do physically

This is just a beginning list, I have more! What do you look forward to when thinner?

Yes! Scale going down again

Lost 1.6 this week. Woo hoo! Made it to 40.4 lost! While I am happy with this I was a little surprised that it wasn't more. What? Someone complaining that the loss wasn't big enough? I know, I know. But I exercised 6 times this week at least an hour and a few of those days it was 2 hours. At at my point range every day and used only 5 of the flex points but did use some of my exercise points. I really thought that pushing it hard this week would get me a loss of 2 lbs or more. But it could be water retention as t.o.m. is soon. I know just get over it! I'm just surprised that on other weeks back in september I didn't try nearly as hard and saw bigger losses. My leader says that you can't lose more than 1.5-2lbs of fat a week. Any extra loss is just water. I know, my blog is named patience and that's what it's going to take a lot of for the next 10 months or more till goal. I have it charted out, believe it or not, but I know it may take me longer to get to goal than I think. Sometimes, I want it off now and fast! But we know it really doesn't stay off if I lose faster. Hope everyone is having a good week and I'll quit my bitchin as I have no right. ha. Got a big anatomy test tonight that I'm not ready for so I'm off.

Note to fat: you're not wanted, pack your bags and get out!

Note to fat, you're not wanted and get the heck off my body! Why would you want to stay on a body that is feeding you low fat foods and exercising everyday? I'm not asking that all you fat cells go at the same time, just asking that 1lb a week you vacate the area. A new home will be waiting for you somewhere, like at the all you can eat buffet's participants. This is a war, fat, and I'm taking no prisoners. You are probably thinking, "well just wait, she will give in and go back to her old ways and then we can invite more of our fat buddies back". I'm telling you now, fat, that it's been almost 6 months and there is no going back. I've become a different person, a more active person. So, if you want to live in these measly conditions, you are in for a long hard fight!!! I'm not giving up....can you say 'freedom'!!!! I'm tired of you weighing me down, slowing me down, bouncing up and down while I run. There's no choice but to find residence elsewhere!!! Just being goofy today, and looks like the scale is cooperating a little and going down a pound, so just need to have a good weekend and wi should be good for Monday. I'm really tired of seeing the fat in the mirror, especially my stomach bothers me. You see your reflection in the mirror at yoga class and you have to look. I see fit bodies (well some of the women) but of course, a lot are young and haven't been through the trials and tribulations of life and kids but I can't help but want a fit body like they have. It is something that will happen. Well, at least a slimmer version of me, I'm not going for perfection. Hope everyone out there is winning the battle of the buldge!!

running.....it's literally a pain in the arrrrssss

I took up running, well really jogging, about a week 1/2 ago. First, I ran 1/2 mile but alternating walking a lap then running a lap. Then Wednesday, I ran 1 mile but the same walking, then running ratio. Damn it's hard!!! What's really bothering me is needing some more support up top. I really need to make the time to get to the mall and get a new sports bra!! And I have pain in my hamstring and especially my quads!! It's hard to haul this body around the track. But after than I was feeling pretty energetic so went on the bike and the elliptical! Yeah, 1 and 1/2 hours. I'm determined to see a dip in the scale this week come heck or high water!! School is stressful but it's going well so far, got an A on one of the tests and the others not graded yet. I need to make more time to study so trying to figure out how to do that without getting little sleep. I did yoga again today and really liking it. I will do this yoga workshop next month where I can spend more time doing pilates and learning new yoga moves. On another topic, I'm really worried about my sister. She's had problems with her thyroid for years and been on meds. Now they found these nodules in her throat or near thyroid and just biopsied them. We will see next week if it's something serious. She won't talk much about it so I don't have all the info I need but thank goodness for Mom. She's always update us on what the others (sisters) are doing that's for sure. Now Mom will have to have an operation w/ in six months to fuse her ankle. (she has a screw in there for when she was young and broke her ankle.) She is scared about it though but I suppose it's better than limping around like she does when she walks around too much now. It's hard for her cause she's a real active lady and doesn't like to stand still for long. The other option would be to totally rebuild the ankle but the surgeon doesn't recommend that at this time. Anyway, praying for their health. Hope you all are having a good week.

Weight lifting and making time for myself

Not sure what I'm doing up in the middle of the night. Woke up and can't sleep so decided to surf around and check out others web sites. Lot's of good inspiration and lots of people having a hard time too. It sucks when I hear someone else beating themselves up due to addiction to food. Makes me sad. Anyway, wanted to talk about another topic, weight lifting. I've gotten into it lately and do about 2 times a week but want to increase that but I seem to gravitate toward cardio if I have extra time. I can really start to see a difference in my arms. Getting some muscle under the fat! Someday it will show. I've decided to up the weights. Quit doing the light wts and high repetitions. I saw a few fit ladies working out and they were using heavy wts for arms like 25 and 35 dumbells and I was like, "hey, they are looking great, why can't I work my way up". And so I shall. The other topic is making time for myself. One way I make time for myself is working out. I used to be too busy meeting my husband needs, my child's needs, my family and friends needs that I quit meeting my own needs. I can find an hour a day on most days to make a committment to health and get in some exercise. Some weeks are busier than others but now I look at it like an appointment I can't cancel. I'm making my health a priority and this will in turn help me out and make me a better wife, mother, daughter, friend. No more putting myself last. I actually have been doing this for 5 1/2 months and am changing my ways! Let me know how you are all doing out there and how you make time for yourself!!

Plan to step it up this week and an article

I have a plan to step up my exercise routine and to make sure I write down all my ww pts and all that I'm eating this week. First, I will fill out my daily tracker each day - either the paper form or the online etools one as it's included in membership now. Second, increasing my exercise to 6 days this week. Will do a variety of jogging, walking, elliptical, swimming, yoga and weights. No excuses, and at least 1 hour or more per day. Third, find other things to do when I feel like snacking. Get to my studying, read something inpirational about weight loss, or play outside with my son. I'm hoping these steps will make me move off of this plateau though I suppose it's not a real plateau until you've been on one for several weeks. I receive this newsletter called "lean plate club" that is interesting sometimes and is about eating healthy, recipes, and exercise. Here's an article about keeping the weight off http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/16/AR2006101600942.html?referrer=email&referrer=email&referrer=email. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

slight gain, arrrrgggghhh

Well was right on not getting a loss this week. :[ Had a .2 gain. So I guess it could be worse. I did exercise a lot but I didn't count my ww points everyday. And went out to eat too much, even last night, which is a no no before my weigh in day! Oh well, I'll just have to wait another week or so to hopefully get to the -40. I'll try harder this week. I did take up jogging this past friday and today but only can jog 1/2 mile and walk the other 2. Sometimes I add on the elliptical machine or weights so I think I'm burning lots of calories. So will watch the calories and if wt doesn't go down must be water retention. I won't throw in the towel, it just makes me want to do more and lose some next week. I don't want this journey to take longer than next August so I need to keep with the program! It's hard some weeks as you all know. Wish it were easy! Like today at the grocery store I kept to my list but darn I wanted those donut holes! Guess I'm craving some fat but I don't want to buy big packages of fat stuff as I'll eat too much of it. Gotta get going to my night class. Have a good week everyone!

long and hard weekend due to school

It was a biatch this weekend doing a very long take home test with a lot of hard essay questions and also a 2nd online test. I can't believe it took me like a day 1/2 to do them. First of all, I haven't been studying enough so it took a lot of time before I could even attempt them. I think it will turn out ok in the end, we'll see what the results are soon. But the hubby is getting a little perterbed with me as he has to watch our son all this time. I understand where he is coming from and we tried to fit in some time to do a matinee w/ our son. But I know he needs some time to do something he likes and get a break. I feel a little guilty but then I remember the 2 plus years he went to school and I worked and he didn't. Of course, that was before our son, but it was a hard time too. And we would like a break to just be a couple. It's hard when you really don't have a babysitter that you trust. sucks. sucks. Anyway on Friday night I did the ladies nt out and we had a nice light dinner and played some Texas hold em. It wasn't too hard to learn but we are still novices. Heck, no one had the rules and roughly knew what cards beat other hands. We had to call one ladies husband if we got stuck. We mostly just talked about funny stuff and old times so it was good. I had a good week doing a lot of exercising but not seeing the scale go down. I have eaten out a few times and not really counting my ww points though other days I've been going real light on the food. So, maybe weigh in won't be great or just stay the same but I can hope for no gain. I haven't been good about drinking my water so that could be one reason why. Hope everyone had a good weekend!!

Oh no, it's Friday the 13th!!

I'm not really superstitious, but it's Friday, the 13th..... Things are going ok on the exercise front this week but eating has been so so at best. I've eaten a little too much this week but trying to have a good weekend to make up for it. Well, maybe not too much just maybe some wrong food choices. Here's an article on why it's so hard for overweight people to lose weight.
http://health.discovery.com/news/healthscout/article.html?article=528483&category=29&year=2005
It just reinforced me to keep on exercising!!! And how important that will be in getting this weight off!
Going to learn how to play poker tonight with the ladies. Maybe it's texas hold em or something, should be fun. We always have a good time together at our monthly get togethers. We usually do something active like walking or kayaking but when it turns colder we do stuff inside. Hope everyone is having a good week!

60 healthy tips

Here is an article on 60 tips for diets. It has some useful info but some is just for fun.
http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2376163&cid=1&code=24422

Feeling better today! Amazing what a good night sleep can do and ready to go exercise later when my son's at preschool. I really should use it as study time as I'm behind but I can't give up my exercise either! So, that means a lot of late nights studying but what can I do, got a big test this weekend and not looking forward to it as it means no fun for me!
It's funny but I was working out next to some real thin women the other day and she was obsessing over her body saying things like, "I can't have an fat in my milk, I don't need the extra fat". This woman was rail thin, no fat whatsoever and if she loses anymore she will be borderline anorexic. Then she was going on about her fat on her stomach. I couldn't see any fat, it was flat as a board! Seems we all obsess with our bodies, well most of us. I was hoping when I was thin, I won't obsess like her but who knows. Have a good day and thanks for posting comments to my blog! I'll try to visit yours today.

ups and downs of wt loss

It's funny and maybe some of you have experienced this but I can be so upbeat and feeling good about my progress and then didn't get much sleep last night and then I feel like crud today and down about myself. I get tired of this cycle. I know it has a lot to do with being tired and not wanting to do the right thing. I wanted Phad Thai dish real bad!! But resisted as it's the tired brain talking, the "I need comfort food now" talking. I don't want to listen to that voice anymore. I instead listend to the "workout today for you health, just do what you can even if your a little tired" and that voice won out for today. I want so much to get to the next goal of 1 more lb of as I really like the nice round numbers (40) but then I'll have a bad day and think "maybe your really don't want it that bad". The fat mentality or something. The fat body fighting with the thin innner body that wants out!! Anyway, school is stressing me out also and it's getting really hard and I'm falling behind so must go. I will try to post my haircut picture here. I don't love it as it's been a long time since I've had bangs. I was going to get a bob and cut the hair but wasn't ready quite yet. Hope everyone is having a good week!

lost! and comment about cheat meals

Yes, lost 1.2! I wasn't sure if I was going to as my scale at home was fluctuated a lot from yesterday and today. I'll take it. That makes it -39....one more to a 40 to keep pace w/ Fat B...! I was wondering what you think of cheat meals. Meaning a meal or 2 every week that's higher in fat and not what you would necessarily called healthy food. I know some of you go out to eat once a week and do this and sometimes I do to. But, on the other hand, when I had that high sodium chinese food this week by wt just jumped up a few pounds. I didn't like that a bit! So, I'm going to try and stay on the straight and narrow this week. I do have one challenge coming up friday night as my friend wants to start a girl poker night for this month. I know they will have some high fat snacks so I've decided that 'you plan to fail if you fail to plan' and will bring my cooler w/ some fruit or veggie tray or eat something low fat beforehand. I know, that we will probably have a cocktail and I've decided to have the low cal beck's beer, it's only 64 cals or something! Probably just watered down beer but hey it's something and better than high fat mixers that she will most likely provide as I know what the host likes. I know on ww we have our flex points that we can use the 35 extra a week if we want but if I use these all I usually will not lose so I'm staying at the low end this week and earning my exercise points! Hope everyone is having a good week!

article about hunger chemical

Here's an article about a chemical that can repress or cause hunger that was on aol news today. Not sure if anything will come of it, but makes me wonder if this has something to do with some people just being hungry all the time and not really satisfied with their food.
http://diets.aol.com/newsandtrends/interim_chrome/_a/scientists-identify-agent-that-regulates/20061002171409990001

Going to weigh in later today, don't expect much change at this point hoping for a maintain.

undoing my hard work

After doing really well during the week, and doing some sort of exercise most days, I feel like I blew it yesterday with eating out twice. The scale is showing up 2lbs. and I know that's physically impossible to gain 7000 calories in one day! And weigh in is tomorrow, yikes! It must be the sodium from chinese food and eating late! I'm pissed at myself though as I didn't make the healthy choice, not that there was many there. Well okay, today is a new day and I am starting again. I'm taking my son to go swimming today or a matinee or something, of course, he says 'let's go to Toys R Us'. He loves that place! I got my haircut yesterday. Got bangs again, it's been awhile. I'm not used to them and keep pushing them to the side. Hope everyone is doing well, gotta go.

try to post a pic and foot issues!

I will attempt to post a picture today of my son. I'm still learning about using this digital camera so we'll see how I do. He is a great boy and the light of our lives. He has a good sense of humor and is real caring and sensistive to others. We are doing preschool again as he just turned 5 and seems to go well. We decided to try a christian school to give him exposure and he said "make sure and tell Dad that I know who Jesus is now!" Cute. They say such funny things sometimes. On the workout front, I've slowed a little due to having foot issues. I had that ankle injury a while back (twisted) and still sore but now I have this weird pain in my toes and hamstring. So, decided to slow down a bit and listen to my body. Did get in a small walk and did yoga again yesterday. It felt a little more calm in the yoga yesterday. Liked the Indian type music. She always says, "like Ghandi says, be the change you want to see" or something like that. I think that would apply to our wt loss journey too, don't you? Hope everyone is having a good week.

comparing myself to others

How do you not compare yourself to others? Being in wt watchers as I see people get to goal an they will say "I lost 37 lbs. to get to goal" and I'm thinking either, 'man I have so much more weight to lose than she had to lose' or I think 'why did I let this get so out of hand'. Like first it was 30 then 40 then 50 then 60 and up up up after the baby was born. I know, I shouldn't beat myself up about it and am just glad that I'm getting a handle on it now. But why couldn't I when I was younger? Sometimes I would and get down to a reasonable wt and then go back up. I guess a lot was emotional eating and just not being able to figure out how or really want to live a healthy lifestyle. It was easy to just forget about it and not think about the weight and avoid the scale. This time I'm really looking at the why and trying I mean going to change it for good as I'm tired of this yo yo up and down and I want off!!! Also, been going to the gym a lot and can't help comparing myself to all those thin women jogging around the track! I look at everyone though and there are some mommies out there that need to lose a few but it's amazing that the majority are fit but I suppose that is they are long time regulars at the gym. I decided to change my goal wt from 150 down to 145. That's the max for wt watchers goal as I'm 5'4". But that is the goal for 45 yrs plus and I'm not that old yet. So, I may have to change to 140 but I won't till I get closer to that number which is a ways away. You can set a wt. goal higher if your doctor writes you a note or something. I thought 150 was doable cause I was there for quite a while way back when. So, in total, I need to lose 101 at this point to get to 145! arrrggghhh. I know I can do it so I better just get busy and get real about it!

Fast food restaurants

I get this newsletter called the worst foods. Sometimes, I don't read it and other times there is something interesting. There is an article called "Are Restaurant Nutritional Numbers Believable?" and it's here http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/cmi_2363929/cid_1/code_24423/ It is a little long but it's scary to think that when you figure your points from their nutritional web sites that maybe the data isn't accurate depending on what size your entry is compared to the one they say you get. I know the best say is to eat at home always, but we know that's not always doable. Most days I can eat at home but once in a while we will go out. Another thing I have been thinking about (maybe cause my old friend had all that plastic surgery due to excess skin), is will my legs and tummy and buns really shrink back to the way they were. I know they won't be exactly the same due to being older and having a baby and stretch marks!! yuck! Maybe I was talking about this earlier but they say if you've been overweight a long time it won't go back like before. I think I could put up with a little tummy but I hope the legs and butt lose the flab!! I'm doing the exercise, cardio and wts and now yoga, so I'm hoping I'm doing all that I can. I know, it seems I shouldn't get concerned now with such superficial things. One lady on the ww board who lost like over 150 pds said something like "I didn't look good naked when I was fat, and I don't look good naked thin". She showed some photos and just some excess skin. Maybe I would be vain and get in taken off. I can't remember how it felt to feel good in my own skin, I mean naked. It would feel good to not feel self conscious about it. Especially in front of my hubby. I can wish. Ok, what are your thoughts out there? Is your body image getting better as you lose weight? Can you stop the negative comments some of us make to ourselves? Most days I can but not all days.

How do you handle compliments?

Seems lately I have been getting a few compliments on how much thinner I'm looking. Two of my mom's friends and one of mine have made comments and while I do appreciate it I wonder if she has been talking a lot about my weight loss progress and they feel they need to comment. Here's some I've received: "your looking good", "your wasting away" (ha ha don't think 209 is wasting away, maybe for a tall man!), and "keep going" "I notice your wt loss, especially in your face and neck". I don't know about you but sometimes people will rub me the wrong way, of course, I don't let on but sometimes I think they are going overboard or they are telling me not to quit and go back to the larger chub that I was. I don't know why I'm thinking of this, maybe I'm too sensitive about body wt right now! I guess they want to give me encouragement or acknowledge my progress but I feel that I have a long way to go and wish they'd comment when I was further along in this journey. Being nitpicky today I guess! I never am good at taking compliments in general or at least in person. I always seem to say something like "I have a long way to go" or some self effacing comment. I need to have more patience with myself and others and quit thinking "I want this wt off now!" Well, in other news, we had a good day today and I took my son to the zoo in Seattle for a while as we were passing through there and he enjoyed himself. I'll try to post a cute picture of him later, got to do an assignment now for school. Hope everyone is having a good week!!

doing good

A short post today as I'm running off to school as I have an open lab I want to attend as she has given us too much to do in our anatomy/phys. class that I can get done in 2 labs. So it sucks as it will be a long day and night! But the good news today is that I'm down -2.6 today. WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! I really feel stepping up the exercise to 5 or more times a week has done the trick to get me losing consistantly again. It's nice to be able to have two meals out this week and not blow the diet. I'll post more tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

Get Real

I'm re-reading a book I got a few years ago called "Get Real" by Daniel Kosich. I took a class at the YMCA that was about healthy eating a losing weight and this was the book they used. I didn't pay that much attention back then as I guess I wasn't really ready to live the healthy lifestyle but now I am. Here's what he says to why why America isn't winning the diet war. "1. We want to believe in magic" such as the latest diet, a diet pill or powders. or a pill to burn fat while you sleep. "2. We want a one-size-fits-all answer" such as that we will all lose weight on one diet or that we will all lose at the same rate. That won't happen due to the number of fat cells in each of our bodies and our base metabolism. He said that if you yo yo diet for years and you are 40 to 50 lbs. overweight you could have made billions of more fat cells that other people who haven't been overweight. Yikes! I never knew if that was true or not. No wonder it is so hard to get off now! "3. We thought the answer was all-or-nothing" like when you go all out and exercise a lot and get sore, follow a real strict diet and just gave up cause the program was too hard. I definitely know that to be true! If you can't follow the program for life or don't look forward to the meals or exercise, you'll revert to your old ways. At least, that's what I did in the past. I know that moderation is the key. Anyway, now I'm reading about self acceptance at your current weight and to try not to get down on yourself because of your weight as it will make the journey so much easier. This is a hard one! I have good days and bad days on the self image. It seems to be a pretty good book so if you see one at the library, check it out. As for the weekend, we had a chance to go out without our son last night and went to see the movie The Black Dahlia. It was pretty good, it was kind of a 1940's murder mystery. Now, I'm doing assignments for my anatomy/phys. class and it's yucky! Not liking the style of this teacher but I will persevere!! Me and my husband had a chance to go to the gym together today (a rare occasion as he works a lot and I go during the week days) and it was nice. We went into the hot tub after which was pretty cold for some weird reason and he said "you really are gonna do it this time, aren't you?". I guess he's seeing changes in my eating and my behavior and of course my weight. Think he's surprised I haven't quit this time and I won't either. It may get hard at times and it will be a long journey but there's no stopping this time. I'm changing for good this time. It is finally the right time and I can do this. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

When you don't want to exercise...

This was taken from an email I got from a guy named Jon Benson who wrote, 'Fit over 40' but probably good for any age I would think. I tend to do what he did, just say to myself "just do 10 minutes" and then I will always due more cause I'm feeling good, it's just a matter of getting to the gym in the first place. "When You Don't Feel Like GoingTo The Gym...Do This ---A lot of people probably think I go to the gymon auto-pilot. This is not always the case.In fact, tonight was a prime example of...(see if you can relate)-- Had every intention of working out in the early afternoon (when I usually train)-- Got caught up in work mode-- Ended up not eating my meal on time... and workout time turned into chow time-- The hours crept on by until it was...you guessed it...dinner time-- "Can't train this late" ran through my mindIt was almost a workout aborted. One ofthese is no big deal...but one turns into two,which can turn into dozens.That's a big deal.So, here's what I did -- despite the fact thatI really do 'not' like to workout at night...especially legs. I used "secret weapon number 1" -- I toldmyself, "Okay, Jon...just do a 'sissy workout'.Just enough to say you did something. Don't even TRY to train hard!"All of a sudden, the gym became...shallwe say..."easier to find."At first, I did just what I told myself -- keptit really light. Then, sure enough, after theinitial warm-ups and so-forth, the iron bugbit me. I wanted more.I ended up breaking a personal best in a new movement I'm using.I then did used the same trick for my post-workout walk. "Just up to the end of thestreet and back...enough to say I did it."I walked much further...gladly.The secret is two-fold. First, use your mind to your advantage. In a way, this is typical 'reverse psychology.' Once you tell yourself, "I'm only going todo X", then "XX" becomes a bonus. "X"is still acceptable, so either way you come out ahead.Second, the majority of the time when you do not 'feel' like workout out, you'rereally feeling something else.Distracted, busy, lethargic...it really doesnot have much to do with your actual workout session.Go with it -- tell yourself you'll do a "busyperson's workout"...and watch whathappens.Chances are you'll find your groove, andthen do the "human" thing -- rebel againstyour own plan. "I'll show ME!" It's kinda funny, but believe it -- this willsave you dozens and dozens of missedworkouts in the year.You may even get a personal best or two."

ladies night out

Went for my monthly ladies night out with a bunch of my old high school friends from years ago. We had started this group about a year a 1/2 ago or so. It is just 4 of us but we are starting to invite more that we are coming into contact with again. One lady that we haven't seen in a couple of years came last night to meet us in Seattle. We went on a 3 plus mile around greenlake and boy, those ladies are getting fast! We did dinner afterward and got to talking to my old friend about her lap band procedure she had a few years ago. We talked further and I knew she had been on television about it and she said it was Inside Edition and that it was actually about reconstructive surgeries she had about 2 yrs ago. Guess she did that procedure where after you lose a lot of wt (she lost over 100lb.) that they give you various procedures all at once. Think since it was relatively new idea, that's why the news was interested. She told me she had boob life, chin implant, tummy tuck or lipo, butt lift, thigh lift, and upper arm skin taken off. I can't imagine the recoup time. She said she was in so much pain she asked God to just take her now. I don't know, I am pretty open to people getting plastic surgery if they want but this seemed like total overkill to me. I think I would personally think of tummy tuck or boob reduction if my body isn't what I want it to be when the wt comes off. I mean if there is just a mass of skin still there though you are thin, would you do something about it? Of course, the cost and the fear of it, might deter me but I'd be open to it. But, I wouldn't do lap band or gastric bypass surgery. I mean, I saw her eat like 4 bites of soup and that's all she could have! I know that eating less and more often would of course make you thin but I wouldn't want to live like that. I guess there is an option to ease off the lap band and you can eat more if you feel like you would like to do that. Funny thing though, I was talking about emotional eating and how I used to eat due to stress not hunger and she said she gained her wt just due to loving food. Well, my issue is more that just loving food it's using it when I'm stressed, mad, sad, happy, you name it. And she said she dreams of eating chocolate and can't stop thinking about it. I don't know what to say to that. I think, we can change the stomach but we can't always change the mind or it's longings. What do you all think of these kind of surgeries out there in blog land?? Have a great week. I'm doing well on the exercise and eating plan and except to see some loss come Monday. Just need to get through the weekend and concentrate on healthy eating.

Starting to feel the pressure and other thoughts

Starting to feel the pressure of all I need to do to get an A in this Anatomy and Physiology class. It is a teacher I've never had before and she seems pretty demanding. Have lots of assignments due already and mega reading to do! I think they expect 2 hrs of studying a night and that is hard w/ raising a family and other obligations. So, I will burn the midnight oil most nights. I'm a night owl anyway but it will make it hard to get up early some days. If I don't visit your blogs as much or post as much that is because of limiting myself on the internet so I can get some studying in. On another note, the hubby is trying to push me. I mean, I guess, help me by encouraging me to do more exercise. Like when we did the 16 mi. bike ride, he says 'soon now you'll be ready for longer rides' and 'what is your next weight goal'. (I know he wants to help but I just want to share thoughts, not have him find a solution to my wt issues, I think it's going fine and I'm making progress) Sometimes, I share with him what weight milestone I have made as I don't share it with too many people besides mom and sister and you blogger friends out there. He wants to push me to work harder and faster. He wants me to do triathalons cause he's into it big time. I told him that is not my dream right now, getting weight off and becoming healthy is. Heck, that may never be my dream. But on the other hand, I actually had entertained the thought of doing the danskin women's mini tri next August in Seattle to help raise money for breast cancer (a close friend is fighting it). It would be I think a 1/2 mi. swim, 12 mi. bike or more, and 2 1/2 mile run. I think it could be doable but I'm totally not a runner. Never have been and never really liked it. I can do the swim and bike but I'm not speedy. Anyway, I'm toying w/ the idea of buying the book 'couch to 5k' that I've heard about that gets you jogging. I feel it's hard when I tried once a few months back; just the extra weight I still have on and have always hated the bounce (in the chest). If any of you ladies out there are amply gifted in the chest region as I am you know what I'm talking about. Of course, when I was young and in jr. high/high school we had to run as part of phys. ed so I know it's not impossible. I see some websites of women that have lost a lot of wt and have become runners or are doing tri's. One you may want to check out for success story is 'MsTeecher.com'. I'm not sure I can make the giant leap it would take. I'm nervous just thinking about it. Anyway, just venting a little tonight, post is all scrambled...thoughts everywhere but too tired to fix it! Hope everyone is having a good week.

Yoga

Had a chance to try yoga again today. I did it a while back in NM and it was good. This class at the gym is called power yoga. It was an all level class but a lot harder than the one I took before. I like the low lights, the candle, but some of the calming or meditating talk is kinda funny if you are not used to it. You try to do a lot of breathing to calm you and your supposed to let all your stresses and thoughts go. That wasn't too hard but I wasn't calm, I was thinking 'I am doing this pose right?' and 'gee, that lady can stretch like a pretzel'. But all in all it was a good stretching routine and a little abs and lt weights so think I'll try that once a week. At the end she was like 'we welcome the newcomers and hope they will return'. Another lady and I were new to her class and it felt a little weird like we were in a commune or something. Probably just the new-agey talk. It does make you feel pretty good after, like you've accomplished something. Anybody else tried it and do you like it? How often do you do yoga, once a week?

Yes!!! Numbers on scale going down!!!

Yes!!! Lost -2.6 this week.....takes me to the elusive 35.2 lost so far!!! The 35lb. mark is the most I've ever lost on ww before, once in 1998 and then never went back after a vacation. Of course it was a lot smaller then (think got down to 173 or something) but this time I'm not quitting!! I think what did it was being stricter about my food choices and counting points every day and the 6 days of exercise I did. I wasn't going to have no loss again as I really look forward to seeing those number go down. We did get out and bike yesterday and got in 16 miles. That was hard for me but not for my husband who was also pulling our child on the 1/2 bike. He's a very strong cyclist but they went slower for me. It is a nice ride up by a river in a town called Orting and it is 8 miles with a slight uphill grade in places but then the 8 miles back seems like mostly downhill with a few level spots. We've done this ride before but it had been quite a while. Well, the lady at ww was talking about evaluating your week. Like if you had no loss what you could have done better or is it just wt fluctuation; and if you lost more than 2lbs. she waid that the max fat loss is 2 lbs and the rest is water wt. I suppose that's true. Then what about in the first few weeks when you lose like 4 or 5 a week, I guess some of it is water. My Bio. teacher was saying we had like a lot of water wt that could be lost in our bodies if we had a hard workout or cut our food intake down dramatically so I guess they are saying the same thing. Yeah, it's a bummer that we can't lose 3 plus pds every week but slower is better I know. The wt loss has really slowed down to like a pound or pound 1/2 a week when I really do the program. I think when I push it like this week with exercise then I'll see a little bigger losses. I'm going to try it again this week but I do have a busier week due to starting night school tonight but I'll try my best. Hope everyone is having a good week!

concert

Went to a play yesterday, 'bombay dreams', and it was ok and then a concert - John Mayer/Sheryl Crow. The concert was great - I especially liked Sheryl Crow, she put on an awesome show. Just a little political stuff in there but such as why our military presence is in some countries but not others, such as african ones that have had genocide and starvation issues. We all know the answer to that....oil!!! If we could all just go to electric cars (maybe someday) then we can quit depending on the oil countries! She had a lot of quotes up for peace and quotes from various past presidents and famous people but has peace really got a chance in this world? It my view, I think not really. There will always be conflict. I just hope we don't all kill each other or kill the planet in the next 100 years! Ok, maybe that's a little pessimistic but it's how i'm feeling at the moment on the subject. Anyways, the music was great and she ended it with 'been a long time since I rock n rolled'. Is that an old Zepplin tune? Anyway, on the diet front, I mean healthy eating front, it is going well. Had a salad and a lowfast taco yesterday and had to have a bit of my friend's kettle corn, but not too much so I'm hoping wi will be good. Today, I will try to go out for a bike ride later as it's going to be in the 70's today and rain is nowhere to be seen! Have a good week.

exercise and mood

I have exercised 5 times this week, Monday-Friday, so happy about that. I will not tomorrow as I have a busy day with a play and a concert. Hopefully on Sunday we will all go for a bike ride as it's been a while since we have. My bike needs a little work but maybe my hubby can fix it as he's into bikes. We have a 1/2 bike that by dh (dear husband) can hook to his and we can take our 5 yr old and actually get in a long ride. My son can pedal too or just coast along. I was in a cruddy mood this morning cause I slipped down the stairs a little and caught myself so not sure why the bad mood. But got out to exercise later and my mood was better again. So really enjoying the mood boost exercise can give me. I'm going to stay on the ww program this weekend even though I will be eating out a little. I want that Monday weigh in to be good after busting my butt this week! I was going to go swimming today but forgot the suit so I did the track/walking and elliptical. Maybe I'll try aqua aerobics next week and definitely will try yoga as I liked it. They call it power yoga and said all levels welcome so I'll see what that is all about. Here's a little joke....hope everyone is doing well this week...one day at a time.

Looks like scale going down...

I don't weigh in till Monday but got on the scale today and down like 3. The scale has never gone down to 209 in years (fun to see) and that would be like 211 on the ww scale. That would be so cool though I know better than to count now as by Monday it could be pre-menstrual and then the wt goes up again. I have been exercising like mad as I have more free time this week as my son has started up preschool so decided since home was 25 min. away then I will go to the gym every single day during the week. We did splurge and go the county fair again but we concentrated on the rides and sights to see and not on the food and I am proud to say no dessert and hardly any junk food. That's a feat for me. I was thinking about this, I remember in years past, it seemed I couldn't wait to eat this and that fattening food at the fair. Food was all consuming. Now, it seems at this moment it is not. I can take it or leave it on most days. Being healthy is winning out. I hope I can keep that state of mind. Going on the rides, yikes, most make me sick now! Especially the spinning bear ride! I remember I used to go on any and all rides when I was young and loved them. Now I feel like like up-chucking but wanted to have some fun w/ my son. On another note....exercise.....Question for you all....what exercise do you do and how often to you change your workout routine to keep it from becoming boring? Have a good weekend everyone.

More Santa fe pics

Had trouble posting photos so I'll try a few here. These are of the usual NM architecture and the St. Asissi Church. The photos on the previous post are of an Taos Indian Pueblo and La posita spa where we had the yoga and massage.

quote and also some pics of New Mexico

What do you think of this quote 'living an unfulfilled life is a big part of maintaining the destructive habits that hold obese people back'. Mmmmm. I saw it on the fatmanwalking website. I've read his web/blog for quite a while now since he walked across american to lose some weight and to find some happiness. Look like he is on the verge of another journey and this time around the world. So, hope he finds what he is looking for but I couldn't leave my family for that amount of time. And what do they always say, something like, 'when you go looking for happiness elsewhere, it was always right at home' or something like that. Well, the unfulfilled part, maybe that could be true for me. It seems I put some things on hold while taking care of family or letting my hubby go after his dreams. It's something I've thought about and continue to think about. Maybe this could have been what caused me to keep gaining wt every year. Anyway, I have a few pics of New Mexico so I'll attempt to post them here. Some didn't turn out too well because of the crappy camera (my hubby had the digital) and all the sunny/shady areas. Have a good week.

forgot to mention...saw Shirley MacLaine

Hey, I forgot to mention my big star siting in Santa Fe! We were at the movie last Thursday and saw Shirley MacLaine. I like her alright, loved her in Terms of Endearment but my mom was star struck and there was like no one else at the theatre and we just kinda stared at her and then we she and a blond haired lady (maybe a daughter?) went into 'little miss sunshine' movie. We were going to another movie (scoop) but mom wanted to switch to that movie. And I was like "what are you gonna do, stare at the back of her head"? They were the tiniest 30-40 seat theatre's. Weird but did know she was into the new age/spiritual lifestyle so that makes sense. Just surfed the net and she does live there part time! We just left her alone, I mean what are you gonna say anyway, they deserve their privacy.

maintaining

Maintaining my weight this week. I pretty much figured I wouldn't lose cause I was on vacation and didn't watch what I ate as much and drank a little. I'm happy with the maintain cause it's what I expected. This week I'll try to kick it up a notch and get in some weight loss. I'm having trouble with my ankle at times though. I can walk and exercise some but if I hit it the wrong way like today getting out of the car, it feels just like a sprain again. So still doing baby steps, I guess, until it heals all the way. I do want to start seeing consistant losses again on the scale. I just haven't been that motivated lately. I'm not quitting, I'm just slowing down I guess. I'm starting to feel some stress from a few things going on in my life and one of them college starting up but I will do my best this week. I will post some pics of Santa Fe when I get them back if anything turns out good. Also, get to go to a concert this weekend....Sheryl Crow and John Mayer. I've like Sheryl Crow for a long time so it will be nice to go to that with some of my old high school girlfriends. We are way back in the lawn section (it's an outdoor theatre) so I'm hoping for no rain like we have been having up here in the Seattle area. Hope everyone is doing well this week on their healthy lifestyle.

Santa Fe was awesome

I haven't posted in a while cause I've been out of town since Wednesday. Had a great time down in Santa Fe, NM! Weather was in the 70's. I've never been to NM but been to Arizona quite a bit. It seems similar in landscape to Phoenix and Tucson area but a lot higher elevation. We did a lot of looking around the plaza and looking at all the shops. Got quite a bit of silver and turquoise jewelry, went a little crazy w/ getting the earrings, cool bracelet, ring, necklace but it was really good prices. The local indians sell a lot of the jewelry for really great prices and we'll see if it tarnished or if it's real silver! There are lot of great art galleries and they have this one street called Canyon that has an art walk and it goes on forever. I do like some art and I loved the old stucco type houses and great gardens and the architecture. Another day we did a private yoga class and a great massage! My first massage and I don't know why I've waited so many years to try it, it was awesome! And then we went to the Taos Indian Pueblo's and learned a little bit of the Indian history and went to Chimayo. Chimayo is a little church where thousands of people have visited near and far and some (they say) have been cured of their illnesses. Here's a link if your interested in it http://chimayo.org/history.html. Anyway, the trip was good, and we did walk a lot but sadly ate too much mexican/southern food cause couldn't resist the local cuisine. So back to the ww wagon tomorrow and looking like a maintain if not a gain. It's so much easier to be on program at home and I will do better this week. I just didn't want to count points when I was on vacation and feeling ok with that decision cause I know I can do this! Hope everyone is having a good week.

my picture

Finally figured out how to put my picture up on the blog. Now maybe someday I'll figure out how to do a web page and some progress photos. Baby steps I guess!

Nice quote

'It's not what you did, it's what you do from here'. I like this quote, it is from Shana on the ww boards and she got it from a ww leader. I'll try to keep that mantra in my mind. It seems to apply to me today. We left early today to go to my son's annual doctor's appt. and we didn't have time to eat so afterwards we went out to eat breakfast (a rare thing) as he has his 5 yr old shots and wasn't feeling his best. I didn't study the menu beforehand and I made a lousy choice w/ the ham n cheese omelette, w/ hashbrowns and toast! I didn't eat the whole thing but prob. 3/4 and immediately felt guilty about it. I hate that. Cause I really didn't know how many calories or points it was and I will just have to guess high. We then went to the gym and I worked out hard for an hour so feel like I did some damage control. I just get bummed that sometimes this healthy lifestyle change seems like it is coming natural to me and then other times it's like my old self of eat anything I want, who cares about the fat content. Arrrggghhhh. I know this will be an ongoing challenge for me. It can fit the program if I know how many pts. the meal is and how many flex points I need to use and treat myself to something real good once in a while. I wish I could just be that person who loves to eat carrots and celery and lean chicken but I still crave the regular restaurant food once in a while. I'm a little worried about my 5 days I'll be out of town. I will pack my pria's bars and anything else I can to have so low pt snack foods. I really want to keep on the program and keep losing. I love to chart my weight and see a loss for the week but I'm noticing myself slip a little and just go down a little on some weeks. I hope I can get my motivation back because it isn't nearly as strong as before. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

Off the plateau

I'm off the plateau and down -1.4 today so I'm happy w/ that! Guess it really wasn't a plateau at all but maybe a bad few days around labor day. I really tried to exercise the last few days to make up some ground even though I was a slow walker due to the ankle. It must have made a difference. It's amazing how no loss or a setback can really mess with my head and make me wonder if I can do this wt loss journey. Of course I can, I just have to keep on going and it will come off! It sure comes off faster if I'm totally on program and don't use all my flex points. I'm going out of town this week for 5 days to Santa Fe, NM so I'm going to try to be vigilant and not go off the program. I'm saving my flex points for one nice meal out. The other days, I'll just eat lowfat though I know it's hard to track the pts values on vacation and in restaurants in general. Think I will try to look up some that are close my the area if I can. I wish we stayed w/ the original idea which was go to a diet spa. Then I wouldn't have any problem losing! My mom is not a big eater and she is going with so I will follow her lead and not finish my food like she always does. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

trying to practice patience and interesting tv show

I'm up surfing around the net at wt loss blogs. But now I'm addicted and have like 30 on my favorites list and it takes so much time to visit them all! I'm always on the lookout for some interesting reading and some motivation and hearing what works for others and how they are doing on their wt loss journeys. Like I've said this week, seems I'm in a maintaining state which isn't so bad given the alternative of gaining. I wi tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. I walked like 3 plus miles today even though my ankle is giving me some trouble but I'm tired of waiting on it and want to get this flab off! Was looking at the public tv station here, think it's ktbs and they had a guy on there w/ a book called 'kiss the fat goodbye' or something like that. I only caught a few minutes of it and one thing he said that struck me was that he believes (not sure if he has research on this) that artificial sweeteners and caffeine both cause depression and if he had his way they would be outlawed in the US. Wow, it just kind of got to me. Could this be true? Is my diet coke habit a cause for my periods of unhappiness. God, I have been drinking the stuff for 20 plus years. I always thought they'd find some research that will say, this stuff will kill you. I really have tapered off and went to caffeine free diet coke and have been drinking lots of water on ww diet but I haven't kicked the habit. Of course, when I'm out at a restaurant and order a diet coke I'm sure it's got all the caffeine in it. I'm not a coffee drinker so at least I'm not getting an overload of caffeine. I remember a long time ago (when I drank caff. diet coke) I would get headaches when I tried to limit my consumption of the stuff and I was just thinking, this is not good! I really have been trying to eat healthy and cut out any trans fat cause I know they are bad for you and in just about anything prepackaged. Trying to stay w/ the fruits and vegetables and lean protein and whole grains and brown rice, etc. Trying to stay away from the white breads and rice but I do love potatoes once in a while. I don't want to cut out potatoes cause I figure if you love them, why live w/out them. I will just limit them and have them just once in a while and at home where I can control how much fat they have in them. I really have given up french fries in the restaurants, I know how bad they are for you and I'm not craving them. I still have the cravings for pizza once in a while but try a lean cuisine or other and it seems to keep the craving at bay. Goodnight all.

Did well at the fair

I was determined to stay on program at the state fair today. I knew all the scones, huge burgers, fries, ice cream, candy, etc. would be there to tempt me. I had a Krusty pup (corn dog) and later for dinner a bbq sandwich so all in all that wasn't a bad day for me. Usually, in past years I'd hit the elephant ears stand or ice cream plus scone or other treats. The ww leader actually said the corn dog was 6 pts so not too bad. We did do a lot of walking but my ankle is still bothering me and swelled up. It pissing me off that this ankle just won't behave and go back to normal! I've gotten so used to walking or working out 4x per week that I feel bad now that I'm not doing as much. I couldn't even go the Y, my gym, as they had it closed as the pool and gym are being redone. What am I paying them for, the gym has closed all week! I did get over to a different Y in a nearby city and got in a little elliptical the other day and walking but I'm not up to par. My hubby is doing his last mini triathalon tomorrow. We will attempt to get up and go and watch him. Those darn races are always at like 7 or 8am and of course not close by. It's hard to get my son up and out the door that early but we will try. Well, we'll see what Monday brings as far as any weight loss but I feel I'm just in the maintaining zone right now due to not being able to exercise very much for very long. It's just a small blip in the long road ahead.

maintaining, went to meeting

Decided I really needed a ww meeting due to being off track this past weekend. Was down only -.2 lb and was surprised I hadn't gained. I have been on track the last 2 days so that may have helped in damage control. The meeting was about getting back to basics and what tools do you need to succeed, so that was good. I need to go back to tracking the points consistantly and start to make ww meals from the recipe books to add more variety. Seems if I eat the same food over and over I get bored. And when I get bored, there's a tendency not to do the program as well as I can. I did really good over the summer so not sure why I'm losing focus now. We tracked from 5/31 to present (for a summertime challenge) and I have lost 22 lbs since then and that's not too shabby. I wasn't trying to lose a certain # of pounds, just tried to stay on the program week to week. I've decided if I miss a week or if it's closed on a Monday, I will just go a different day matter what. If I gain, so what? It's better than missing and then gaining, and then being ashamed of gaining and then eventually quitting after missing a few meetings. Well, that has been a pattern in my past that I'm determined to change this time. Goodnight all.

article about weight loss and other thoughts

Check out this article called 'A crash course on weight loss: 6 steps at http://www.ediets.com/news/printArticle.cfm?cid=1&cmi=2307118. It is interesting to see this spin on why people can't or don't lose weight. They say we are 'first: You are often afraid of life. The second: You often think and feel that you are inadequate to deal with life.' Well, I'm not sure I agree totally with that but I do agree with the part in the story about using food to deal with stresses in life. I like to surf the net and find info about weight loss or healthy eating and I get these newsletters about these subjects. I guess I feel if I read everything I can it will make me succeed this time and it also gives me motivation to keep going. Well, I'm back on the eating healthy wagon and it's going fine. Didn't make it to ww yet but may today but now afraid not that I've gotten mostly over my chest cold, now my son is coming down with it so may not be getting out much. One piece of good news, I'm getting to go to Santa Fe, NM next week with my mom. We were supposed to go to a diet spa or something last year when I hit my milestone bday (40) yikes! So we are finally off and though it was booked kinda last minute and not staying at a spa we will get a massage somewhere. Do you believe I've never had a professional massage! I think it has to do with my weight and body image and just being a modest person in general. Neither of us has been to NM so this will be fun. I keep having dreams of Hawaii and going there....(think it's calling me cause I haven't been in a long time!) but NM will have to do. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

Off the wagon

Disappointed in myself for this past weekend. Too much crap food, didn't track my points and ate too much. It didn't help that I knew I wouldn't weigh in on Monday due to the holiday. 3 days off track. So I am back on track today and hopefully I can get with the program again. I did do some long walks so I'm hoping the damage won't be much next week. The bad thing is though we were walking on uneven surfaces and I twisted my ankle. So no I am out of commission for a few days for walking. Maybe I'll try some swimming this week as that would be easier on it. It is stupid to try to maintain my usual pace with a swollen ankle. So I will slow down and work on the diet this week. Ok, not the four letter word, diet, I will work at eating healthfully this week. I had a feeling my bad mood last week would end up with me not caring what and how much I ate over the last 3-4 days but oh well. I decided to forgive myself and move on. No more quitting and saying I can't do this lifestyle change because I can I have been the last 4 months. I'm giving myself a pep talk here to get back on track. I'm going to make mistakes on the this journey but you have to get right back on the horse or is it the wagon. I think I will go to ww meeting today or tomorrow just for the meeting and maybe need to hear some positive reinforcement as it might help. Hope everyone survived the weekend, why does our family turn it into a eating weekend?