Back to working out

Finally got my mojo back as since about xmas eve I was losing a little of my motivation and drive. Think it was all the sweets and great Christmas dinner and wanting to just hang out with family and not do much of anything. So...forced myself to get to the gym yesterday and did a long, fast walk and a little of the elliptical machine. I need to get back into doing my yoga and more weight training and I will this week. We are back to the usual schedule next Tuesday when school starts up again for my son and then I will have more free time to work out!

Christmas time was great to see my family including my mom and dad, 2 sisters and all their families. One of the nephews got the new Wii game systems that lets you do active games while holding the console. It was kinda fun to try the bowling, tennis and baseball games. You feel like you actually are burning a few calories. We came home a couple of days ago and now are thinking of going up to one of the mountains and go sledding in the next few days. We've been a little lazy though and haven't gotten too motivated to get up early and go. Today, we may go to Seattle to the big IMAX theater and watch 'night at the museum on the big screen' or will just go around here to the regular theater. Also, will go get my haircut tomorrow as I'm hating it lately!

Good news was that I did get some comments on my weight loss so that's always nice. But, sometimes, my mother tells everyone and that gets me a little embarrassed at times with people I don't know well or don't want to talk about the wt loss. No big plans for new year's eve but we will do the party poppers and toast at midnight with our son as he enjoys that! Said it before but Happy New Year's to all of you, I can feel it's going to be a good one!

Early happy new year to you all!

Hope everyone is having a happy holidays. I sure have and have been out of town at my mom and dad's. I did indulge on xmas and feel slightly guilty about it but I deserve to let go once in a while and not think about food and the scale for one day. May have done some damage but nothing that can't be reversed! I did get in one day of exercise and will go again tomorrow. I did not weigh in this week due to my wi day being on Mondays and so it hits both holidays! Lucky or unlucky not sure. But I will try to wi on next Tuesday I suppose. I should to stay accountable and not rebound back up!

I finally got my high speed internet working and it's marvelous! Like night and day, I can finally watch a email clip/video in real time. Waaaaahoooo!!! Now I'm trying to figure out how to copy all my favorite places such as all your blogs and all my email addresses but I don't seem to be getting anywhere. Oh well, I'll figure it all out or retype all my favorites into the new system. It's a drag but I'll survive!

Wishing you all a very happy new year!!!

Visit to Seattle

Here are some photos from our day out in Seattle. It was sunny on the way up there and soon as we got out of the car the wind was blowing and it starting raining after we were at this Gasworks park. This is the view of Seattle facing South from Lake Union not from the ocean. We went up to the triathalon store that was nearby and we were having fun at the park until chase fell in the grass and got mud all over him! We tried to wash what we could off in the bathroom but there are a lot of homeless people hanging around and sleeping in the park and I felt a little uneasy as they were pandhandling. I notice that Seattle does have a lot of homeless people, and it's sad. I don't give them money anymore since once or twice I did and I saw them go to the store and buy some booze. Once in a while I will give them some food though as I feel for their plight.

Anyways, we had a good day and then we went to the Pacific Science Center (by the space needle) which has lots or stuff for kids to do. They have a dinosaur exhibit and butterfly house and lots of science type experiments and toys. They have the Dead Sea scrolls exhibit but that was extra so we didn't go as I know he would be bored. I would love to go to that and to the 'Bodies' exhibit downtown after just taking that Anatomy course. Well, we'll see if we get there or not. Sometimes I love Seattle and sometimes I hate it. My hubby wants to live there someday, like in dowtown Seattle but at heart I'm still a small town girl or at least the suburbs! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

article about eliminating your trigger foods

I'm a posting fool lately now that I have some free time! I came across this article called 'beat the bad habits that are beating your diet' http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/cmi_2423445/cid_7/code_24429/ and was kinda surprised that this lady recommends eliminating trigger foods from your diet, and I think she means forever! Most people just say eat in moderation and don't eliminate your trouble foods cause then you just want them more. I kinda believe in that, I mean not totally eliminating trigger foods but I just eat them occassionally as things like pizza or pasta or sweets sometimes make me just want more of the food. What do you think of this article? Give me your thoughts. I like at the end how she says the tortoise not the hare will win the race in the end. Sometimes it is a slow and long journey to get healthy.

Ready for Christmas?

I am just about ready for Christmas, exept for some baking and maybe getting one more present. I bought a lot of my presents early as I hate the crowds at this time of the year. We did go to the mall though for a while on Monday as I was meeting my mom there to pick up my boy. We went to this restaurant called Macaroni Grill. It looks like it had a lot of high fat italian items on the menu so I had a 1/2 sandwich and a salad so that wasn't too bad. I always have trouble deciding how many points for meals when I eat out if I don't research it first. I have really been trying to eat most of my meals at home because then I really know how many calories I'm consuming. The one present I have left to get is for my husband. He wants triathlon type wear which is hard to find. He says the regular sports stores or REI don't have what he's looking for so I may have to go up to Seattle tomorrow to this tri store to get a gift certificate. It's so out the way though. But since my son is out of school for vacation maybe we'll make a day out of it. I'll take him to the Seattle aquarium or the Seattle Science Center. I'll try to take some pics if I see anything interesting or just pics of Seattle in general.

We just had the hdtv and digital cable hooked up. He said he couldn't hook up my high speed internet to the guest room cause it has no cable. Of course, it can be done but for another $100 or so and by someone else. That sucks! I really like having the computer room away from the tv area but may have to move it back down there as the only other cable outlet is in my room and I don't want the computer in there. They really went bare bones when they built this house, just 2 cable outlets and 2 phone outlets! The cable guy was complaining about his leg and sick and coughing everywhere. He didn't seem to be able to answer all the questions I asked him or didn't understand them. He hooked up the tv and then went to espn2 and I swear he was just vegging out watching tv!!! I was thinking, like "hello, you are working here". I actually had to prompt him by saying something to get him out of his football trance. Ahhhh, men....

I want to say THANK YOU to all my blogger friends for your kind comments. It's really cool to connect with other people that are fighting the fat war too. A special thank you to Marshmallow for you cute fireworks pictures she put up for me for onederland. I don't know why 200 to 199 is such a big deal but it is, it's a milestone for me.

Not much else happening so I will go and I hope everyone is having a good week!!!

It's all good!!!

Today is a good day for 2 reasons, 1 is that:

Onderland, you are finally mine!!!! That brings me to 198.2 pounds. I worked hard this week and ate on target and worked out a lot as I wanted to see a loss this week. So maybe last week's gain was water weight, not sure. But I am dang happy! I'm going to try my best to not go back into the 200lb category....I hope forever if I can!

The second reason that it is a good day is that I got an A in my Anatomy/physiology class!!! Woooohooo! I wasn't sure I could pull out an A but finals went real well so I'm pleased. I have to wait for spring to apply to my 2 yr school and am pretty sure I will get in for the fall start. Heck, I figured, if I retook my anatomy (2 quarters) which I had a B in and got A's then they have to accept me if I'm close to a 4.0! This school is taking a long time though (about 4-5 years) because it's taken me 2 yrs just to do the 8 prerequisites due to only taking one class or two at a time. It's seems like a long haul but I know I can do it. Hope everyone is having a good week!!!

Getting some perspective

A few days ago, I was at the gym as my usual routine and going around the indoor track. I was obsessing over the number over the scale and how the numbers aren't going my way and can't seem to break the 200 barrier. I came around the track and saw a lady hobbling back and forth and using a walker and had a peculiar gait. I instantly got a new perspective. God, I felt so self absorbed. Here she was, barely getting around the track while I worried about a silly thing such as a number on a scale. I stopped to say hi to her and we had a little conversation. She was so happy and smiling and wanted to know how I was. I felt like crying as I went around the rest of the track. Maybe having a emotional day, but I realized how lucky I am just to have my health and be able to move freely. I've noticed quite a few people at the Y that have some disabilities or just some physical challenges they must face every day. I stop now and say hi to them and offer to help if they look like they need it on a weight machine or one fellow needed help to get his cup off the back of his wheelchair and to get some water. Talk about getting some perspective!! Sometimes I think, I could do so much more and help people out and I do it in little ways for now. Sometimes, I think God or some other force gets me to stop and realize, life is about so much more than ourselves. So, think I need a gratitude list.

Things I'm thankful for:

my health

the love of my family

my friends

my freedom

the ability to go to school again

the beauty of washington, the sea, the mountains

honesty, with myself and from others

the kindness of strangers

the holiday season and being with family and remembering the reason for the season!

my blogger buddies!

Of course, there are many, many more but gotta get going!!! What are you thankful for?? We have to do xmas cards and then will go to the gym and my mom is babysitting today so we will have some time for some fun too if we get all are work done today. Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

Progress photos

These are my progress photos so far! The one where I'm in the white shirt is around my starting weight of 246 and the black sweater is me about 2 weeks ago at 201. It's kind of hard to see the outline of my body on the after/progress photo but at least I got a start here! I notice some change in my waist, chest, and face and actually starting to have collarbones again! Thanks Christie for the hint about flickr and how to get it to post here. For my next progress shot maybe in another 20 lbs, I will try to get better quality photos to see the difference. I really wish I had taken photos right when I started this journey in May so I could have cool comparison photos but I hated cameras so I found a photos from about 2 yrs ago. I was able to find some of me at Easter last April but they weren't close up shots so they didn't really work well. Oh well!

I didn't get my high speed internet or get to have my weekend without our child due to a big wind storm we had hit our area last night! We lost power for 20 hours and just got it back a few hours ago! It sucked but it seems the storm has moved on. We were a little bummed out but what can you do. My mom's was going to babysit but she lives on a island and they got hit hard! Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

exercise, exercise, exercise

Concentrating on exercising this week and of course, counting my points. I'm trying for exercise 5 or 6 times this week, starting with Monday. so far, today will be 4. I'm jogging again and still finding it very hard. My back has been bothering me and not sure why. Maybe it had to do with sitting on my butt by the computer last weekend. Yesterday I jogged 1 mile and walked 2 miles, then did a 30 minutes on the elliptical. I was a sweaty mess. I'm trying to increase my cardio and see what I can do but without hurting myself. I've been exercising since May consistently so I'm gonna push it to the next level and see if it jump starts my weight loss.

The scale was showing progress yesterday and jumped down 2 pounds but it seems that as soon as I eat out (did the ww entree at Applebee's) then it's back up 2 pounds. Oh well, hopefully if I watch it this weekend I'll see it go down by Monday. I really was thinking of moving my weigh in day to later in the week as it seems that my Wednesdays I recover from the weekend but I like my leader so I'll stick with Monday's. Too bad the holidays fall on that day so I'll have to figure what to do about that.

Here's a cute white christmas song at http://badaboo.free.fr/merryxmas.swf and if you need a wt loss succes story, here is one at http://www.weightwatchers.com/success/art/index.aspx?sc=17&SuccessStoryID=9301. I'm finally gonna get high speed internet tomorrow. I had been putting it off due to not wanting to pay more but the slow connection is driving me crazy and I caved in. We will also get digital tv and the hdtv box due to an early xmas gift of a bigger tv and the reception is a little fuzzy!!! I wish I had time to watch tv but the 5 year old wants to watch cartoons!! I would have like to see that biggest loser finale but I haven't been watching it from the beginning due to night school so I'll check out their web site. Well, I hope the faster internet connection will help me with my photo posting problem. I've tried everything from different web sites to clearning the cache from the computer but no luck!

We are looking forward to the weekend as Grandma will babysit our boy and we will have date night!!! Woooooohoooooo!!! Actually we are going to this new higher tech bowling alley and they cater more to adults on Friday nights and we will have some cocktails and we will meet up w/ 5 of my ladies groups and their husbands. I'm looking forward to it but my hubby isn't. He's not a drinker anymore and I think he doesn't like some of my friends. But oh well, I've gone out w/ his friends on occassion so it's payback time! And it will be fun, I tell him. Then maybe saturday we will do some alone time and go to a movie or something so looking forward to it! You know what I mean if you are parents! Have a great day. I'm gonna try to get some more xmas shopping done today!

Weight watchers changes

Still haven't read through all the ww book of all the changes that are happening but the biggest one seems to be how many points you get each day. There is a new formula (more personalized by person) that includes your age, your weight and your daily activity at your job, and your gender. It boils down to that men will quite a few more points and women can go up or down. I got one more point but will lose that when I get below 200. It seems every 10 lb category you get to you lose 1 point. Before, for instance, if I went to the 175-200 range I would have to go from 26 points at the 200-225 range and then down to 24 points at 199. Now I have 27 pts and will go down to 26 pts at 199 and then 25 pts for 189. I guess I like the system. It all works the same though as they are just playing with the points. You still get the extra 35 weekly points if want them anyhow. (Now that I've really confused you about points and you prob. don't care if you aren't on ww!) It's funny cause it seems every few years they change the points system but basically it's just another way of looking at it. It seems the core program had a few more changes like limiting what snacks you can have each day. The weight goal ranges seem to pretty much stay the same, they maybe added like 1 pound per height. It didn't seem like that big of a deal to me like I thought it would be. They say if it's working now, what your doing, why fix what isn't broken!

They also changed the starter kit. They used to have one that looks kinda like a small purse but now it will look like blue lunchbag. Our leader says it's because a man (for the 1st time) is running wt watchers and says more men are joining and that they will feel more comfortable with a lunch bag looking kit. We all thought it was kinda dumb and looked around the room of 50 people and there is 1 man! ha! I think more men would come but maybe they don't like talking about their feelings or they think there will be a room full of women, which there is. I think it's great when you see a couple there together. It seems they lose faster when they are both on the program.

I'm still trying to solve my photo problem and not getting them to post to my blogger. I will attempt it later when I have more time. Have a great day!

Switching to the beta blogger!

I was in the old blogger since last summer when I started this blog. It kept prompting me to go to the new beta blogger and I didn't. I decided to today (create a google account) as I'm having trouble posting to any blogs outside the US. It had been giving me the "not a secure site" when I posted to blogs in Australia, New Zealand and Netherlands. So thought maybe it was because I wasn't in the new beta blogger yet! So, if you have trouble making a comments to my blog I found it still works if you click on the 'anonymous' tab to make the comments. Not sure why there's issue w/ this!

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Good news and bad news

First the bad news, for some reason I was up 1.6 at weigh in yesterday. And today I seem down back to where I was last week. I'm not sure what's happening but I know I just can't wing the program. I had a extremely stressful week this past week with finals and it didn't help I had to sit my butt in front the computer for 3 days. So, not enough exercise, eating out (though I made good choices) and not really tracking my points made me not successful. I went and had a hard workout yesterday and got over my negative feelings and felt a lot better. Exercise is a mood booster for me.

The other bad news is that I can't get imageshack or my blogger to upload pictures yesterday and today. I have a slow connection speed but I can usually upload some pics. Any advice on another site or way I could try? I have the pics on my desktop but have to get them converted somehow. Or it could be an imageshack site problem but prob. more on my end. I want to post some xmas type stuff and maybe to get motivated again, some progress shots that I have ready.

The good news is that I got an A+ on my lab final and have to wait till this weekend to see what my physiology final will be. There was a buttload of essay questions and she will have to grade that by hand. It took me 3 nasty days to finish that and I wasn't a happy camper!! I'm kind of teetering between a B+ and a A- so we'll see what happens.

Try out this snowglobe xmas site http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm, it's kind of funny. And this http://www.asilentnightmovie.com/ which is pretty xmas movie about silence and peace. Hope everyone is having a good week.

Procrastination!

I'm being the queen of procrastination today! I need to finish my final online but finding everything else I would rather be doing! We went and got our Christmas tree. It was at this ranch/farm place which we thought it was the kind where you cut them down yourself. It ended up being already cut trees that were a good price and they had all kind or animals on their farm, like rabbits, cats, shetland ponies, emu's, goats, sheep, exotic birds, and dogs. Look like they also have a fish farm in the summer with a small lake. My son really enjoyed it there as we don't have any pets yet. We will some day and he says he wants a turtle or bunny but we'll see.

Being the queen of procrastination, I went to a Christmas play up in Seattle called 'White Christmas' which was good and then out to dinner at this place called 'Elephant & Castle'. It was an english pub/restaurant and everyone had fish and chips except for me! I was trying real hard to stay away from fried foods and the french fries so I had a chicken sandwich and salad. The guy wasn't listening when I place my order (which he read back to me) and brought the fries and not salad!! I hate that! He brought me the salad later but of course I had to have a few fries cause they were staring at me!! I don't want them on my plate or I'll eat some. Hhhhmmppphh. Anyway, real bad and slow service but it was busy night as seems all the restaurants are busy in Seattle before xmas as everyone is out shopping and going to parties so we couldn't get into some places we wanted to even though we called ahead. But the company was good and also got to see some 1st cousins at the play who live quite a few hours away who we hardly ever see these days!

It is nice see some people I haven't seen in quite a while and get comments on my weight loss. The problem is I have never been good at taking compliments so I have my standard answer, "well, I'm working on it". How is everyone holding up during the xmas and holiday party season? I'm back to my test now and fear that I will have no wt loss this week due to sitting on my butt in front of the computer the last few days! I did get in some exercise this week but not as much as I wanted to. I am looking forward to the ww meeting so I can hear what big changes they are announcing about the ww program. Have a great week!

seduction style quiz

This site is kind of funny, check it out, got it off Chunky to spunky's site and saw it on others. I'm the midas touch, ha ha. It is geared more to single people but it's fun for us old married folks too!

Christmas questions

I'm doing my final on the computer but it will take me like 12 hours! Just what I want to do on a Friday night and all weekend, blah!!! So I'm procrasting and taking a blog break. Here is a Christmas questionnaire. Please do one if you want to! Hope everyone is having a good week and I'll visit blogs soon!

Merry Christmas to you all!Getting to know you this Christmas!Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! You know the drill. Don't be a scrooge!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? hot chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? wraps them

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? white outside, colored on tree

4. Do you hang mistletoe? no, sometime my mom will though or my grandma used to when she was alive and we would try to get people to get under it by mistake and kiss em!

5. When do you put your decorations up? early to mid December

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? mashed potatoes or special cheesy potatoes that my sister/mom make!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? getting and rec. gifts and seeing joy it brings, spending the day with my family

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? grade school, think my older sisters spilled the beans

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No, Christmas Day

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With ornaments, lights, sometimes tinsel type rope, (not the tinsel that gets everywhere!)

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it except when I need to get somewhere that day!

12. Can you ice skate? yes, but it's been ages

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? diamond pendant necklace, or when I was younger ski's or a vacation

14. What's your favorite thing about the Holidays for you? getting together with family and having time off from work/school and no stress on xmas day

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? pumpkin pie or chocolate pie/or choc. lush/cheesecake!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? seeing the xmas light show and going to xmas eve church service with my mom and other family

17. What tops your tree? An angel

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Both equally

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? "chestnuts roasting on an open fire, jack frost nipping at your nose", what is the name of that song?

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? yum, like the berry flavored ones.

Have fun with this... Now that you know your blogger friends a little better, copy and past this but change all the answers to your own. Then post it on your blog for all of us to see. Happy Holidays, a little early!!!

Trying not to let stress get the better of me this week!

Looks like Santa has his own weight struggles too!!

I'm trying not to let stress get the better of me this week. I have two finals and not enough time to study for them it seems! Of course, it might help if I would get away from this computer as it seems to distract me.

I saw this article about using prayer to lose weight. Hey can't hurt http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2423485&cid=7&code=24293 maybe I'll try it! We ate out last night, mexican, as I've been craving it! I can tell when I go out to eat now that I don't feel as good after a higher fat meal as compared to the regular low cal dinner I usually have now! I can't seem to find enough time to exercise this week to to a field trip yesterday for my son and my mom visiting but I'll attempt to get in a walk today! Hope everyone is having a good week!

so close I could cry!!

Only lost -.6 this week and this brings me to 200.2. Darn, I thought I'd make it to 199.9 at least! I exercised 6 times last week and was in the points range though at the higher end. I really want to get to 199 and leave the 200's forever! I know it will be next week, it's gotta be. The wt loss has really slowed for November compared to all the other months for some reason. Ok, no whining! So what I will do to get at least a pound loss a week, if I can is: 1) exercise as higher intensity at least 4 out of 6 times this week (at at least 70% max heart rate), 2) Journal my points/food every day, no exceptions! 3) Throw out any crap in the house that I may eat!4) increase wt lifting to 3 times per week at least!

I'm hoping this will get me back to losing a lb a week w/ out these little losses!!! It seems the quicker I want the wt loss to happen and the harder I work, the slower the losses go. Back to turtle pace. Patience I know! I hope I can get all I want to get done this week but it's a busy week w/ field trips, 2 finals in school and my mom coming for 2 days and a play on the weekend and a party. Think I'll have to opt out of the party as I school has to take priority right now. Xmas shopping will have to wait till next week! How's everyone else handling their stress this week!!!

(P.S. A lady at weight watchers was outside in her car on the side of the ww building and put on the gas instead of the brake and crashed into the building and made a 3' by 3' hole in the brick!! She is ok though but it happened right before the meeting! Maybe she really didn't want to weigh in!)

The Good and the Bad

Thought I'd talk about the good and the bad that has happened to me recently. Saw an old friend/boyfriend around Thanksgiving and he saw I had running shoes on and said, 'are you running?' and I said 'yeah, just a little' and he says 'you've lost weight haven't you?!' and I say 'yeah, I am working on it'! So that made my day! He is big into triathalons and doing a marathon this weekend and did the 1/2 marathon that my hubby did. They are friends and once in a while will do a tri together. He knows him through when they worked for my dad fishing in Alaska. It's not weird though and I like his wife too.

The bad was that I was going through photos from before the weight loss to some different months since and was thinking, 'man, you are still really fat!' And it just bummed me out I took another one last night and I do see quite a bit of improvement but I still have a ways to go. I just needed to get a reality check and know this is going to take a quite a while to get to goal. But do you know what I mean, you think, 'hey, I'm doing good and feeling good and looking better' and then you see a photo and it shows how far you still have to go! I will post the photos in a few weeks when I get down to -50. My before picture is not on digital so I'm still figuring out how to get my scanner to work so I can post the comparison shot. I wish I had done something like 'half my size/pastaqueen'. She has some great before and after's. She has the same pose and you can rotate her photos in 360 view. I'm afraid I'm just not that teckie and will have to do just regular shots. She also has the one where you can overlap your previous photo with a new one. Cool. Since I didn't start really with a posed before photo, I just found a candid photo my mom took. I sure tried to stay out of photos when I was heavier. The camera was like the plaque! But once in a while a photo got through. I should try to also scan this photo of when we went to Hawaii a few years ago. We all (my family and sister's family and parents) went to a luau and they take your group photo and when I saw it I was mortified by how I looked and knew I had to do something! I didn't recognize who that fat woman was in the picture. That couldn't be me?? Evil twin, ha! Of course, that turned in to a few years of losing 20 and then gaining 20 and the yo yo dieting again! A good thing it is different this time. There is no quitting this time and no skipping wt watchers meeting cause of a possible gain. That would be my downfall, it was in the past. I had a terrible pattern of dieting in spring and fall and then falling off the wagon during the holidays until spring again. It's no way to live and I think they say that yo yoing in weight just maked you fatter, I mean fat tissue vs. lean tissue and screws up your metabolism.

We had a good time last night going to my old high school state playoffs. The Oak Harbor Wildcats won the state championships in the AAAA. Awesome!!! And it was like old home week, as we were walking around looking for a my mom and dad and to find a seat, I saw like 6 or 7 classmates from the past. What a blast from the past!! Too bad there wasn't more time to visit but it was so crowded, I think the whole town came to the game plus alumni!!

Today, my hubby is putting up the xmas lights outside and maybe we will go find a tree. He wants to go cut one down somewhere and prob. will go to an xmas tree farm. And, I am attempting to study as have a big lab test on the brain, nerves, ear and eye on Wednesday that I'm not ready for yet. I keep on finding better things to do! Hope everyone is having a good week and I'm hoping for some kind of loss tomorrow at ww!!

I've been tagged! 4 things about me

I've been tagged by Feisty Roo,

Four Things About Me

4 Jobs I've Had

Administrative Assistant, Hotel sales manager, scuba dive instructor, airline resv agent

4 Movies I watch over and over

(seems I never have time lately) Wedding crashers, matrix, point break, american beauty (I'm a big Keanu Reeves fan and like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaugh too!) These aren't my all time favorite movies but didn't want to think too hard this morning!

4 places I have lived

Washington state, California, Maui, Cayman Islands (among others! I had a terrible habit of moving a lot when I was younger but it was fun too!)

4 Tv Shows I watch

(I can't find time to watch any shows due to my 5 yr old controlling the tv!) So arggggghhh, cartoon network, funniest home videos, grey's anatomy

4 Places I've been on Vacation

Hawaii, Bonaire, Cayman Islands, Sweden/Austria(but since having a kid just get to vegas or other states)

4 Websites I visit Everyday

sometimes blogger friends, aol news, horoscopes, my school website/online portal

4 Favorite Food

pizza, mexican food, thai food, choc. ice cream (no wonder I'm dreaming about these foods as I'm not eating them!)

4 Places I'd rather be right now

Maui!, Mexico, Caribbean, Galapagos (never been but want to go someday!)

4 Favorite Band/ Singers

right now kinda like, Jack Johnson, Howie Day, Hinder, Black Eyed Peas/Fergie

4 Bloggers I'll tag

Christie, Fat Bitch, Marshmallow, Living to Feel Good

Maintain during the holidays? I've heard it twice now

My w. watcher leader was telling us a while back to just maintain during the holiday season. But it seemed a week later she was wanting us to make a small wt loss goal to be accomplished by the end of the year. (Seemed like a double standard) This was before Turkey day and I just wanted to get to 199 by the end of the year so I should be able to get there. I saw this article about comfort food and to just maintain throughout the holidays and how stress of the holidays can make you eat. http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2423262&cid=1&code=24422. I guess I just don't want to just maintain, I want to lose a little more. I guess I have it in my mind that I want to lose so much per month, I have it all charted out till next August when I may be close to goal. I know I prob. won't meet my goal then as the wt loss will slow at certain times and especially when I get closer to goal which won't be for quite a while.

Here is another article about 5 Holiday weight gain myths http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2423260&cid=33&code=24423. I have never done ediets but somehow I got on their newsletter lists. Some of this info we all already know but doesn't hurt to read it again I suppose.

I found this afternoon and evening I was just ravenous and wanted to eat everything. I think I need to change what I eat and start eating more often and more veggies. How's everyone doing out there this week? I'm doing a lot of walking, elliptical, and some weights. I will swim tomorrow as it's a pretty slow day at the gym. God, how I hate getting on the swimsuit but I am enjoying swimming again and it keeps me from becoming bored at the gym.

weight related articles and finally the picture is up and SNOW!

Wow, finally got this picture to work. It wouldn't work when I tried to edit the other post. Strange. This is Ron (hubby) and Chase last summer after a 200+ mile bike ride. He has done a few triathalons too and now the 1/2 marathon. I'm proud of him and likes that he's found a hobby he enjoys. Though, it does take a lot of time to train!

We got quite a bit of snow, which is unusual for our area. We had no school and swimming so we went sledding and tried to build a snowman. It seems the roads are better so we will venture out as I'm getting bored.

Here is a link to a few weight loss related articles. One from Pamela Peeke about stress can cause tummy fat http://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/weight_loss/ten_tips.html and the other about how ridiculing fat people doesn't help http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/01/AR2006110102969.html?referrer=email. It makes me sad when I hear stories of people being made fun of just because of weight but I've had my own issues with this too. I hope everyone is having a good week out there!

Wow! Got a loss after turkey day!

I'm happy today cause got a loss of -2.4 today!!! WoooooHooooo!! I'm not sure how that happened, the body is a weird thing. I showed really little wt loss the last few weeks and I'm sure it had to do with water retention last week but then I don't try this week as turkey day and hurting my leg so I didn't exercise much and just ate in moderation and now a bigger loss. Ok, got my star today for getting to -45.8!! I can't wait for 50 pds and only need a loss bigger than .8 next week or 2 to get to that elusive 199!! I'm psyched. I knew if I just kept at it there's no way this fat can outlast me.

Sorry, I couldn't get the picture of my hubby and son to go on the last post! I will try tomorrow as I will have more time as school is tonight! Can't wait, 2 more weeks and I'm done for the quarter. Then, I plan on spending more time on the blog and trying to get it to look better. Can't figure the photo thing out as I have been using 'imageshack' that Christie told me about and it was working and now nothing. It seems to work and then I try to put it on the blog and it won't show up. I'm not too teckie so can't figure out why. Hope everyone is doing ok this week! And I'll check on your blog soon if I haven't already.

nice holiday and seeing family and friends

(Picture is of my hubby, Ron and Chase last summer after a bike race, (guess I should ask him if I should share it but oh well!)

We had a nice holiday at my mom's and it was low-key this year with just a few people. My sister's were at their in-laws but I did see one of them later in the day as she lives in the same town as my mom. It is on Whidbey Island, up near the San Juan Islands. I grew up there and when I was young, I couldn't wait to get away. But now, I appreciate the beauty of the island and the little bit slower pace of life there (though it is growing). Saw an old friend from high school that I don't see much so that was nice and then went xmas shopping and got a good start on getting some gifts. I hate the crowds though! Then we went to Seattle, wished I took some pictures to show you! We stayed at a nice hotel so my son could go swimming and then went to dinner and took my son to Gameworks (a big video game place). On Sunday (today) my hubby did the 1/2 marathon. It was raining and just real yucky out today for the race and he wasn't walking too well when he was done. But he's happy that he went a lot faster than he had last summer running the 13 miles. I'm just hoping he didn't pull something as he really didn't prepare and run as much as he should have for this race. I saw a lot people staying at the hotel that I could tell ran the race too. I saw one lady that my hubby had met and she was totally fit w/ a hard body and she's 46! She ran with her daughter and I thought that was cool. Then, I thought, I'm younger than her, and maybe I should get into this!! I can't image thought what it would take. I don't think I've ever run more than 2 miles. I haven't really reached that stage where I enjoy running yet. I do like how you feel after, that kinda runner's high.

I took it easy with eating this week but I didn't count points and didn't exercise too much. I wanted a little break from writing down points and my leg was hurting. So, not sure what the scale will say. Of course, I got on the scale a little while ago and it looks ok, no gain yet, so a little surprised by that. So maybe I'll get a maintain this week and hoping for no gain. Hope everyone had a great week!

slight loss this week and have a breather from school

Sometimes I feel like doing this to my scale at home!!! Just because sometimes I get tired of being accountable to it and wish I could just toss it out the window! No, it is going slow but did show a small loss of -.4 this week. So, baby steps, I guess at this point and at least it is going in the right direction. I did see my scale dip down to 199.5 this week! But I know it is a few pounds difference from the weight watchers scale so I'll probably have to wait a few weeks before I see that number on their scales. Anyone ever weigh in nude at the meeting? Ha ha. Then I could be at onederland!. Then no one would ever go to meetings if they had to face that kind of torture.

Well, at least I am done with my back to back tests and lab wasn't as good as I wanted but other test was good. They were brutal and it felt like mid terms though we only have about 3 more weeks to go. Hurray! The stress was getting to me. I did exercise 4 x this week and didn't journal my food every day so I will be better this week. I don't know what happenned but a new yoga teacher was filling in for the usual one and it was like yoga on speed! She moved so fast through the moves I really didn't like it. I felt a little sore the next day. And then ran earlier in the week and no problem but then ran yesterday and today I have major hip, upper or outside leg pain. I didn't push it more than usual so not sure what is going on. I've decided to take a hiatus from jogging until I drop more weight cause this is painful. Anyone out there took up jogging and been bothered by aches and pains?

We are off to go look at larger screen tv's as we might get one for xmas. Hope everyone has a great turkey day and I hope to at least maintain this week.

Getting to know you, do this on your blog too!

I saw this getting to know you questionnaire thing on 'whataboutyourhips' blog (amanda) so thought I'd borrow it. Put it on your blog too so we can learn a little about each other!

DO YOU SNORE? No, not usually. Can’t stand it when my husband snores, have to poke him to get him to roll on his side or go sleep in another room.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? I am a lover. Don’t fight too good but have a memory like an elephant and can use that in my arsenal, ha! It takes me a whole lot to get me mad. Rarely has anyone seen me mad.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? Anything happening to my family.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? No

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV? I like some of it.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? Yes, sometimes.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? kinda cute but too bald.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? Used to be a long time ago. Enjoyed my freedom and just drinking and having fun with my friends. Married life is good too; wouldn’t trade it .

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Sometimes.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No, but I want to learn to sky diving when I get to my weight goal. I love to scuba dive, if that counts for doing something more extreme.

ANY SECRET TALENTS? Well, can play the piano. Told I am good at putting out fires (work related) and staying calm in the eye of the storm and mediating problems between others.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Love to go to a warm tropical location with crystal blue water and go out to scuba dive and then come back to lay on the beach and have a tropical drink with someone special while watching the sun go down.

CAN YOU SWIM? Yes, I am swimming ½ mile once a week in the pool. Hate getting on the swimsuit though! Want to train for a mini triathalon for next summer.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? No.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? Yes, try to use ozone friendly products, etc.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? 300? Don’t know! That’s an old joke.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? No, but I swear when I was pulled over once when I was 19 and at college a cop pulled me over late at night w/ my friends and asked me to recite it backward. I’m like ‘who could even do that?’. He was looking for drunk college kids and thankfully I was the designated driver and sober.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER? Electric.

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? For sport, I’m not in favor of it.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? Been married 15 years!

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? So, so.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? nothing really but did get a reaction from a certain med. that was precribed to me.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”? Last night to my child.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? Not usually but sometimes, if I’m close to the person I'll tear up a little.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Scrambled or over easy.

ARE BLONDES DUMB? No!

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? I don't know, in the space time continuum?

WHAT TIME IS IT? 9:27pm

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? Depends on the person, sometimes babycakes to my sister, sometimes poker (to old friends). Used to be a rhyme, 'Pitty, Patty, Poke, Shoe a wild colt'(grandma used to sing).

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING? No not usually, but have really limited my eating there after that Supersize Me movie. I do eat there fruit/walnut salads. My son loves to get the toys in the happy meals there but kinda hate they cater to kids with the meals and toys and the food is mostly crap.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? About 8pm, went to the grocery store.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Showers usually but do like a nice hot bubble bath once in a while. Better if it is for two!!

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? In our house it is this year!

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? Yes, usually.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No, not really. Unless I am in a big city and feeling uneasy in a cruddy part of town.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? Lately – exercise.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? creamy.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? No.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? No.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? Yes, now. Not to say I didn’t party a little in my younger years. I hardly drink anymore either, as my husband doesn’t anymore.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? No, I wake up at the slightest peep.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? Yes, most days.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC? No, but I have good intuition that once in a while I listen to and it steers me in the right direction.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE? No, but heard of it.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? I can play piano a little.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? No.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? No, but I can ski pretty good!

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? Sometimes if it’s not too cold.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? Not usually.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? No.

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND? No, people are though I like dogs too.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? I wouldn’t want it for myself, but I do see some that don’t divorce and they should - they making themselves miserable and their children. Or some just settle in old age and live in separate bedrooms and lives. It's sad and I'm determined that won't happen to me.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? No.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? Not usually, but once in a while.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? Mild, probably 50 fahrenheit. But I feel we are going to have a bad winter.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Oriental chicken salad.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? Once in a while. For a reward, I will soon get a pedicure!

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW? Like my family and friends, and most people I meet.

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? Just that there are too many on all the time!

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT? Think it’s called ‘lips of an angel’ by Hinder.

stress and feeling like I'm in slow mo and why I chose angelfish!

Have been getting real stressed out this week with my anatomy/phys. class. We dissected cat muscles for 2 weeks and finally had the test on the cats and human cadaver and it was damn hard! I'm pissed I wasn't as prepared as much as I though I was. We had to know the origin of the muscle the insertion onto the bone and the action that it makes. It seemed she showed things in different orientations, (front, back, side) and I got confused sometimes what she was pointing at! I'm just glad we are moving on the the nervous system and brain. Anyway, another long test on Saturday that takes me like 12-14 hours or more but at least it's a take home test but I hate the essays! Hope I didn't gross anyone out!

It feels like I'm in slow motion for my wt loss lately. The scale will go down 2 pounds and then a few days later it's up two pounds though I am still on the ww program and eating within my points range and exercising, cardio/weights/yoga. Only thing that has changed is the stress level I'm feeling. I am trying to practice patience, patience, patience. Just need to keep that as my mantra. I would really like a loss come Monday but we'll see.

In case you were wondering why I chose Angelfish as my blogger name, it is because I used to be a scuba instructor and just like those angelfish! Also, my dad is an Alaska fisherman and so fish and the ocean has always been in my blood. Last, but not least, I'm a pisces sign and feel I have to be near and live in driving distance to the ocean! I really enjoyed my time in Hawaii and the Cayman Islands when my hubby and I used to teach. Seems like a lifetime ago. When I need to go to my happy place, like we do when in yoga to de-stress and relax, I always find my thoughts returning to the ocean and beach on a sunny day! What I wouldn't do to go on a warm vacation at this time of year. It's funny though, when I first started blogging this summer I was just replying to Fat B's site and though I was just signing in to comment actually on a post of hers about patience and now that's the name of my blog. Ha, don't want to change it now though! It's a good quality for me to have now that the wt loss is slowing. (Though it would be funny to have a nice blog name like 'thin girl within' or 'fat buster' or something!) Hope everyone is doing well this week!!!

What's your plan for the holidays?

What is everyone's plan for the holidays? Will you continue on the wt loss journey, go for a maintain, or a gain? I choose, a little wt loss this season. A week ago at ww, we were asked to pick a goal to achieve by the end of the year (called storyboarding). I chose to get to wonderland, I mean onederland and never return to 200 (ha, I hope)!! Need to lose about 4 to get to 199. I'll settle for 199 point whatever. I don't want to go off and gain and that would just put me a month or two behind. Not going to happen this time! You can kick me in the butt if I don't heed my own advice! Also, what is your plan on Turkey day? I will bring a veggie/fruit tray and I will make the lowfat ww pumpkin cheesecake or some other dessert. I will eat that dessert and no other and if no one likes it then so be it! Most of the sister's are going to their in laws anyway so we won't have a huge crowd at my mom's this year. I asked her to tone down the menu and not make as much food as she always does but I can only ask. Tell me what you will do these next 6 weeks? We can do this, we just need to keep exercising and choose to do this! I am in control of what goes in my mouth, not the food!!! (Off do do my studying of the darn cat and human muscles for my big lab test tomorrow! Why the heck am I procrastinating on the web!!arrgghh!!)

very slight loss this week

Well, I was a little disappointed that my weight only changed -.2 this week. I didn't journal all my points food every day though I'm pretty sure I was still in my points range as I only ate a little more on one day. I did increase my weight workout and had sore muscles over the weekend so I could be gaining some slight muscle mass. I looked back over my excel weight track that I have made and for the past couple of months, I would have 3 weeks of loss and then no loss or slight gain/loss (usually a week before time of month). So could be bloating and just the way my weight loss is going to happen. It's funny though, when I got on the scale at home today and could tell I was about the same if not more (I was down a few a few days ago), I thought, we should just go out to breakfast and have anything I want. Then, I thought, no!! That wouldn't be progress. It's these little baby steps and eating right and going to gym, it will pay off, it has paid off and there is no throwing in the towel this time! I will get to my goal in due time and to onderland in December probably as the holidays will be tough as I will be out of town and out of my element. Gotta run off to night school. Hope everyone is having a good week!

assumptions and observations

As I mentioned, I have turned into a gym rat and go to the Y at least 5 or more times per week. As I started jogging and doing yoga I noticed a young hard bodied lady who seems real fit. I see her jogging effortlessly, doing yoga like a pretzel and see her quite often at the gym. I assumed she was young and single and has all the time in the world to keep her hard body. I assumed wrong when I went I saw her get her 6-7 yr old daughter out of the daycare and think I saw her with a school aged son the other day too. Why do I assumed that someone doesn't have kids cause they have a fit body? I tell myself that I shouldn't make assumptions about people but we all seem too. Why do I think that when some people have kids (like myself) that it is the beginning of at least 20lb extra on your body that is hard to be rid of? At the gym, I see a lot of mom's that are either a little overweight or look pretty darn good! Some of my friends who are mommies are in that category, they have an extra 20 lbs or they are fit and looking good. Why did I fall into that thinking like 'I used to be fit, when I was young and before kids'. I'm not buying it anymore! We all can have a fitter and thinner version of ourselves if we put in the hard work and change our eating habits for good. That's my plan anyway! (I can't seem to make this blog do paragraphs, help anyone?) On another note, my ww leader confessed that when she is at a party or out and about, she will mentally look around the room or area and figure out the percentage of overweight people! I was like, arrrggghhh! She said it is from being in the wt loss profession. Usually she will see a great many overweight people, say 60% or more. At a recent ww leaders meeting she went to of 400 or more people, there was only like 4 that had a little weight on them. It makes sense, they have to look good and fit to lead meetings. We need an incentive that they can be successful in their wt loss and maintain it. I was reading another blogger site, 'half my size' a while back where she says that she will compare herself to others and think 'am I fatter or skinnier than that person'. I was like, I try not to do that! But I think we all do to some degree. I do it more like this. I will see a person jogging around the indoor track and I'm like, 'she's a good runner, why can't I be then?' Or 'she looks damn good for her age, why can't I to?' Or if you see a really heavy person, you think, I never want to be like that. I can't let my weight affect my mobility as I get older. I don't want to slow down like I have been for a long time. I want to be active and a part of everything in life again. Not be on the sidelines watching. What are your thoughts out there on these topics? Hope everyone is having a good week!

emotional fitness (article and other thoughts)

Here's an article that I got on my email. It is asking, "are you emotionally fit"? Having to do with not dealing with emotions and how that relates to being overweight. Here's the link http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/1/cmi_2422446/cid_33/code_24289/. I've never seen it put quite like that. As I reflect on what they are saying, yeah, I know I have used food to stuff down some emotions. Especially stress! Just eat and the stress will go away! Ha, well it worked sometimes but then I felt guilty for over indulging. Also, I think I wasn't really ready to go on this weight loss journey until I or (we, me and hubby) dealt with some simmering marital issues about a year and 1/2 ago. We decided finally to go to therapy and that helped immensely. Not sure why I am sharing that, it's just that was one of the reason that I was stalling and yo yo ing on my weight. Unresolved feelings that needed to be dealt with. Sometimes, you get problems and you sweep them under the rug and think you can deal with it. Before you know it you have a huge pile of crud and man, it really stinks and you have to deal with it or it will get the best of you. Anyway, on other topics, I'm more dedicated than ever to get to onderland! It has been like 6 or more years since I've been there and it will feel good. And then around the corner at around -50 will be the 1/2 way point. Can't wait! I am a little worried about the holidays but do have a plan of action. I will bring fruit or veggie trays to snack on at holiday get togethers. I will remember that it is a holi-day, not holi-week or holi-season!! (in the words of w. watchers). How will all you out there in blogland deal with the holidays?

Had a loss this week!

Had a loss of -1.4lb this week! Woohoo. I've decided to be happy with whatever loss the scale will show as I know it will get harder to lose more as it already has this past month. I will be happy w/ at least a 1lb loss each week (if not more) as I know weeks are coming next year that I will wish for a pound loss. Closing in on the elusive 199 but it will take me longer than I thought it would. Probably just in time for Thanksgiving and then I will really have to watch it over the holidays as that is always a really hard time for me to stay on program. Our leader said just to maintain over the holidays. I would like to continue losing a little over the holidays if I can. Gotta rush today to get to night school tonight, so bye. Hope everyone is doing ok this week!

Ever have one of those days?

That's what's been wrong on certain weeks! I've been weighing myself all wrong! Well, have you ever had one of those days? It's started out good, we fiddled around at home, it was a no school day so took my son to the gym. I worked out for an hour and promised him we would go swimming after. So, we swam and I knew it was getting late as I was supposed to go to meet his Dad after work to drop off my son as I was going to meet my ladies group for a lesson on salsa dancing in Seattle. It's about hour or hour 1/2 to Seattle from where I live. First, I was running late after I figured out what to wear for salsa. Then, it was raining cats and dogs for like 24 hours and traffic was horrendous. So, we missed meeting my husband at the train station and so drove around for like 1 1/2 hrs and then had to backtrack to meet him on the other end of the train. We stopped to go to the bathroom and while I was trying to hurry, I bonked my food good on a door stopper attached to the door and bruised my foot real good. By that time I was crying from the pain and picked up my hubby and just said Fu*k it! I wasn't meant to go to Seattle tonight and just went out to dinner w/ the family. Some days, I would like to just stay under the covers but I know can't. And I'm bummed that I missed the salsa lesson and dance and girls night out! Oh well, mama said we would have days like these...Now, off to do my all day take home test. At least it's a takehome but it's darn hard and going to take me all day and night. And sick w/ a major cold! Ok, miss negative, let's find some postive from these experiences. Hope everyone is having a better weekend than me!

Had fun on Halloween

We had a fun time taking our son out trick or treating with our friends and their daughter. They got lots of candy and that was prob. cause one guy basically dumped all of his candy in their buckets as he wanted to be done giving out treats. We got a but*load of snickers, want any? I'm having a little trouble staying away from the candy but just trying to limit myself to 2 pieces for 2-3 days. Guess I was feeling a little deprived due to being pretty strict with my diet. Here's some pics of me and my son and him and his girlfriend. They were Anakin Skywalker and a good witch. It was nice to see their parents too as the girls dad has been working on the east coast for like 1 1/2 years or more so it's always nice for them to have him visit. Well, I've been messing around with my points on ww and kind of tried eating high points one day (and exercised a lot on that day) and then low points and take it easy on the exercise. So far seems to be working as the scale seemed to jump up after high day and jump way down after the low day. So, maybe there is something to this wendie plan. I'll see what happens come Monday and hope to have a good weekend. How is everyone doing out there? Staying away from the candy if you have any left? Maybe my son can hide it from me. ha ha. A big thanks to Christie for helping to get my photos posted! I'm having trouble w/ the blogger and have a lot to learn! Have a good week!

Lost one pound this week

Lost one pound this week!!! While I am happy the scale is going in the right direction and no plateau's, I have been experimenting with exercising 6 times per week and eating to my points range (26) and not using much flex pts but using some exercise points on w. watchers. It doesn't seem to be making me lose any more than 1 or 1 1/2 per week. I guess I thought, burning more calories, and really journaling carefully what I eat would reward me with at least a 2 lbs loss. My scale showed down 2 lbs. but gotta go with the ww scale at the meetings. They have 3 different scales and I bet if I weighed on each of them it would be a different result. It seems if I go on a certain one, then I don't lose as much as my scale at home says. I know, why am I bitchin. I guess it's cause it's been 6 months on the program as of today and down 41 lbs. I know that is good and hope to lose that much in the next 6 months. I lost 9 lbs. the first month and then was on track for 7 lbs a months till the last 2 months and prob. just 6 lbs a month. I'm not sure why it is slowing. Think that these next 60 lbs that I want off will be slower than I want. It seems to be getting harder to get off. Gone are the occassional loss of 2 or 3 lbs. Just not happening anymore! Maybe I'm eating to little? I'm not sure. I guess I'll fiddle with my points range a bit to see if I can get bigger results. Why else would it be I'm working harder than ever and my body is fighting to hang on to the fat? It must be that note I wrote to my fat about giving up 1lb a week! My fat is not giving me more than that! ha ha I can't wait till I get under 200 but it may be a little longer than I had hoped! Hope everyone is doing well this week. Looking forward to Halloween tomorrow and have a rare night off of school due to the instructor being ill. Woooohooo!!!!

Good athletic support is hard to find

Been out looking for sport bras this weekend. It's a hard job, as some of you women that are well endowed like me can attest. It takes a while to find a good one. Finally decided on the Moving Comfort bra. It seems to work fine as we went jogging today and it's better than my champion one. I tried on the one that Oprah recommends called the Enell. It is more like a bustier in size and style and you button it up the front w/ about 10 hooks. It does support you better than any other bra I've seen but it's seems thicker and heavy duty. It has a big seam right across the front and I didn't like that much. My hubby thinks I'm being picky but if you have a shirt over it, all I see is this big horizontal line. It is also the pricest sports bra I've see at like $50-60. So, I will think about this one but it prob. would be best if I really do this triathalon next summer. Anyway, enough about bras, if there are any men reading this I'm sure you are bored stiff! We had a good weekend as we went to Seattle to shop for me and for my hubby to check out a triathalon store. We went to an area called Lake Union and to Greenlake and had a good day. There were so many people walking and running around the lake, it brought back old memories for me when I was young and single and living in Seattle. We then went to the Seattle Center later that has the space needle and went to the kiddie rides and games and putt putt golf. My son had a good time and he deserved it after our day of looking around sport shops. Today, we went to a pumpkin farm and did the big corn maze and hay maze and picked out a pumpkin. My son is excited for Halloween and will be Anakin Skywalker. My friend will have us over for dinner and she will make spooky food like mummy dogs and spider deviled eggs and I'll bring some halloween type dessert. Our children (ages 4 and 5) will go trick or treating, so should be fun. I'm not really looking forward to all the candy he will get as I will want to have some. As far as weight loss, it's going well and expect a loss tomorrow so will post the results. Gotta go study my anatomy. Hope everyone had a good weekend!

doing well and on program but my class is grossing me out!

I'm doing well on my eating and exercising a lot. The running is going about the same, can go for 1 mile but it's still hard and I'm always thinking 'when am I gonna be done?'. I figure I will take it slow and be able to run 3 miles by next summer. I did get some nice asics running shoes so enjoying that and my toe pain has gone away!! We went out to eat tonight at this Zao Noodle bar and it was real good. All kinds of asian noodle style dishes and also chinese food. Had a dan dan noodles which are big noodles with veggies and chicken in kind of a peanut type sauce. I haven't over indulged this week so it will be fine and in my points range for the week but it's always hard to judge the calories at a new restaurant. As for my night class in Anatomy/physiology it is going well. Got an A on 2 tests and not sure about the lab test yet. I've never had a teacher take so long to grade tests. Sometimes it's a week with her! OK, gross alert! Gross Alert! If you don't want to hear about dissection don't read!!!! But was is grossing me out is that we had to do a cat dissection! The smell and the skinning, etc. aaarrrggghhh, wanted to barf but I must do this to pass the class. Thank god one of my lab partners used to work on a farm and seems perfectly at ease with this project. We have to use it the next 2 weeks to look at muscle, etc. I got off easy before when we didn't have to do this in another class. Next, is the human body! Holy heck! No, I have seen a cadaver before and just have to look and don't have to touch hopefully! I just have to have the right attitude and know there is an end to the means. But, I can't help but not have much of an appetite this week due to this so that's one positive point. Maybe I'll help some of you not to have an appetite either! Bluck!!! Anyway, not sure why I shared that with you. Hope everyone is having a awesome week and have a great weekend!

Do we choose to be fat?

A while back I was reading a book and I can't remember which one as I have read a ton of wt loss book, motivational books, online resources, etc. One was saying that we 'choose to be fat'. I was like 'what!?!'. Most of us would never choose to be fat if we were given the simple choice. We would choose thin in a heartbeat in this wt conscious world. What they were saying was that by continuing your same behaviors such as not exercising or eating fattening foods we are choosing to stay fat. I guess that's true to some degree but it doesn't go deep enough. They are not considering the emotional issues that some people have that make them turn to food. Food is their drug of choice. I suppose it's better than alcohol or drugs or other but it can be harmful and cause a variety of illnesses as we age. Well, you hear the saying, 'do or do not, there is no try' (by yoda) and there is truth to that. If we 1/2 assed do the program we will get 1/2 assed results. If we don't look at the deeper issues within ourselves why we're overweight, then we won't lose the weight. We will keep on yo yo ing down in weight and then back up. I know, I've done it for years! It's because I never gotten to the heart of the matter, why I've used food as a solace instead of sustenance. This time, I've been digging deep and it's been hard but worth it. I want to live a healthy life and decrease my chances for these dreaded diseases like diabetes and heart disease which I'm surely could have hit me due to my fast food habits and stress. When people say they are stuck in a rut I do kinda think they choose to do that. Doesn't mean they can't get out of it. But, we all know, we all have to do it ourselves. We have to look deep. Doesn't mean we can't get outside help. My ww meetings help me somewhat to deal with emotional type issues but it might not be enough for others. I do feel that the leader would be there for me is I really had something I needed help with or encouragement. But, they are not a therapist. I am all for therapy if people need help! It's not a weakness it's just a hand up. Anyway, I came across a small article called 'why you aren't losing weight'. It's not the how to lose it's the why. Here it is http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=1076941&cid=7&code=24429 . Food is not our enemy. It can seem to control us if we let it. Who is the boss anyway? We control what we put in our mouths and why.

What I look forward to when I'm thin

What I look forward to when I’m thin:

1)Not having to shop at the chubby ladies stores like Lane Bryant or any plus sized section of a store.
2)Feeling comfortable in airline seats and movie theater seats or any chair (this is already happening!)
3)Seeing my reflection in the mirror or window and not noticing all my lumps and bumps. Not wondering ‘who is that?’ and not recognizing myself when I see a reflection is a store window.
4)Being energetic and able to keep pace with my son and play (starting to happen!)
5)Be able to do a mini triathalon next summer and feel good about it
6)Feel more comfortable when being intimate w/ hubby and not thinking of my flaws.
7)Getting a new wardrobe as it will be a whole new size that I’ll be in and I’ve long since threw out my skinny clothes!
8)Getting my cholesterol under 200 and just feeling real good about eating nutritious foods and not the crap that the food industry is trying to push on us (starting to happen!)
9)Actually be satisfied with less food, smaller portions (starting to happen!)
10)To not feel deprived when I see someone eat something that I would like to have but don’t.
11)To finally feel like one of my friends, not the biggest one in the room and feeling self conscious about it!
12)To take pride in my appearance and what my body can do physically

This is just a beginning list, I have more! What do you look forward to when thinner?

Yes! Scale going down again

Lost 1.6 this week. Woo hoo! Made it to 40.4 lost! While I am happy with this I was a little surprised that it wasn't more. What? Someone complaining that the loss wasn't big enough? I know, I know. But I exercised 6 times this week at least an hour and a few of those days it was 2 hours. At at my point range every day and used only 5 of the flex points but did use some of my exercise points. I really thought that pushing it hard this week would get me a loss of 2 lbs or more. But it could be water retention as t.o.m. is soon. I know just get over it! I'm just surprised that on other weeks back in september I didn't try nearly as hard and saw bigger losses. My leader says that you can't lose more than 1.5-2lbs of fat a week. Any extra loss is just water. I know, my blog is named patience and that's what it's going to take a lot of for the next 10 months or more till goal. I have it charted out, believe it or not, but I know it may take me longer to get to goal than I think. Sometimes, I want it off now and fast! But we know it really doesn't stay off if I lose faster. Hope everyone is having a good week and I'll quit my bitchin as I have no right. ha. Got a big anatomy test tonight that I'm not ready for so I'm off.

Note to fat: you're not wanted, pack your bags and get out!

Note to fat, you're not wanted and get the heck off my body! Why would you want to stay on a body that is feeding you low fat foods and exercising everyday? I'm not asking that all you fat cells go at the same time, just asking that 1lb a week you vacate the area. A new home will be waiting for you somewhere, like at the all you can eat buffet's participants. This is a war, fat, and I'm taking no prisoners. You are probably thinking, "well just wait, she will give in and go back to her old ways and then we can invite more of our fat buddies back". I'm telling you now, fat, that it's been almost 6 months and there is no going back. I've become a different person, a more active person. So, if you want to live in these measly conditions, you are in for a long hard fight!!! I'm not giving up....can you say 'freedom'!!!! I'm tired of you weighing me down, slowing me down, bouncing up and down while I run. There's no choice but to find residence elsewhere!!! Just being goofy today, and looks like the scale is cooperating a little and going down a pound, so just need to have a good weekend and wi should be good for Monday. I'm really tired of seeing the fat in the mirror, especially my stomach bothers me. You see your reflection in the mirror at yoga class and you have to look. I see fit bodies (well some of the women) but of course, a lot are young and haven't been through the trials and tribulations of life and kids but I can't help but want a fit body like they have. It is something that will happen. Well, at least a slimmer version of me, I'm not going for perfection. Hope everyone out there is winning the battle of the buldge!!

running.....it's literally a pain in the arrrrssss

I took up running, well really jogging, about a week 1/2 ago. First, I ran 1/2 mile but alternating walking a lap then running a lap. Then Wednesday, I ran 1 mile but the same walking, then running ratio. Damn it's hard!!! What's really bothering me is needing some more support up top. I really need to make the time to get to the mall and get a new sports bra!! And I have pain in my hamstring and especially my quads!! It's hard to haul this body around the track. But after than I was feeling pretty energetic so went on the bike and the elliptical! Yeah, 1 and 1/2 hours. I'm determined to see a dip in the scale this week come heck or high water!! School is stressful but it's going well so far, got an A on one of the tests and the others not graded yet. I need to make more time to study so trying to figure out how to do that without getting little sleep. I did yoga again today and really liking it. I will do this yoga workshop next month where I can spend more time doing pilates and learning new yoga moves. On another topic, I'm really worried about my sister. She's had problems with her thyroid for years and been on meds. Now they found these nodules in her throat or near thyroid and just biopsied them. We will see next week if it's something serious. She won't talk much about it so I don't have all the info I need but thank goodness for Mom. She's always update us on what the others (sisters) are doing that's for sure. Now Mom will have to have an operation w/ in six months to fuse her ankle. (she has a screw in there for when she was young and broke her ankle.) She is scared about it though but I suppose it's better than limping around like she does when she walks around too much now. It's hard for her cause she's a real active lady and doesn't like to stand still for long. The other option would be to totally rebuild the ankle but the surgeon doesn't recommend that at this time. Anyway, praying for their health. Hope you all are having a good week.

Weight lifting and making time for myself

Not sure what I'm doing up in the middle of the night. Woke up and can't sleep so decided to surf around and check out others web sites. Lot's of good inspiration and lots of people having a hard time too. It sucks when I hear someone else beating themselves up due to addiction to food. Makes me sad. Anyway, wanted to talk about another topic, weight lifting. I've gotten into it lately and do about 2 times a week but want to increase that but I seem to gravitate toward cardio if I have extra time. I can really start to see a difference in my arms. Getting some muscle under the fat! Someday it will show. I've decided to up the weights. Quit doing the light wts and high repetitions. I saw a few fit ladies working out and they were using heavy wts for arms like 25 and 35 dumbells and I was like, "hey, they are looking great, why can't I work my way up". And so I shall. The other topic is making time for myself. One way I make time for myself is working out. I used to be too busy meeting my husband needs, my child's needs, my family and friends needs that I quit meeting my own needs. I can find an hour a day on most days to make a committment to health and get in some exercise. Some weeks are busier than others but now I look at it like an appointment I can't cancel. I'm making my health a priority and this will in turn help me out and make me a better wife, mother, daughter, friend. No more putting myself last. I actually have been doing this for 5 1/2 months and am changing my ways! Let me know how you are all doing out there and how you make time for yourself!!

Plan to step it up this week and an article

I have a plan to step up my exercise routine and to make sure I write down all my ww pts and all that I'm eating this week. First, I will fill out my daily tracker each day - either the paper form or the online etools one as it's included in membership now. Second, increasing my exercise to 6 days this week. Will do a variety of jogging, walking, elliptical, swimming, yoga and weights. No excuses, and at least 1 hour or more per day. Third, find other things to do when I feel like snacking. Get to my studying, read something inpirational about weight loss, or play outside with my son. I'm hoping these steps will make me move off of this plateau though I suppose it's not a real plateau until you've been on one for several weeks. I receive this newsletter called "lean plate club" that is interesting sometimes and is about eating healthy, recipes, and exercise. Here's an article about keeping the weight off http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/16/AR2006101600942.html?referrer=email&referrer=email&referrer=email. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

slight gain, arrrrgggghhh

Well was right on not getting a loss this week. :[ Had a .2 gain. So I guess it could be worse. I did exercise a lot but I didn't count my ww points everyday. And went out to eat too much, even last night, which is a no no before my weigh in day! Oh well, I'll just have to wait another week or so to hopefully get to the -40. I'll try harder this week. I did take up jogging this past friday and today but only can jog 1/2 mile and walk the other 2. Sometimes I add on the elliptical machine or weights so I think I'm burning lots of calories. So will watch the calories and if wt doesn't go down must be water retention. I won't throw in the towel, it just makes me want to do more and lose some next week. I don't want this journey to take longer than next August so I need to keep with the program! It's hard some weeks as you all know. Wish it were easy! Like today at the grocery store I kept to my list but darn I wanted those donut holes! Guess I'm craving some fat but I don't want to buy big packages of fat stuff as I'll eat too much of it. Gotta get going to my night class. Have a good week everyone!

long and hard weekend due to school

It was a biatch this weekend doing a very long take home test with a lot of hard essay questions and also a 2nd online test. I can't believe it took me like a day 1/2 to do them. First of all, I haven't been studying enough so it took a lot of time before I could even attempt them. I think it will turn out ok in the end, we'll see what the results are soon. But the hubby is getting a little perterbed with me as he has to watch our son all this time. I understand where he is coming from and we tried to fit in some time to do a matinee w/ our son. But I know he needs some time to do something he likes and get a break. I feel a little guilty but then I remember the 2 plus years he went to school and I worked and he didn't. Of course, that was before our son, but it was a hard time too. And we would like a break to just be a couple. It's hard when you really don't have a babysitter that you trust. sucks. sucks. Anyway on Friday night I did the ladies nt out and we had a nice light dinner and played some Texas hold em. It wasn't too hard to learn but we are still novices. Heck, no one had the rules and roughly knew what cards beat other hands. We had to call one ladies husband if we got stuck. We mostly just talked about funny stuff and old times so it was good. I had a good week doing a lot of exercising but not seeing the scale go down. I have eaten out a few times and not really counting my ww points though other days I've been going real light on the food. So, maybe weigh in won't be great or just stay the same but I can hope for no gain. I haven't been good about drinking my water so that could be one reason why. Hope everyone had a good weekend!!

Oh no, it's Friday the 13th!!

I'm not really superstitious, but it's Friday, the 13th..... Things are going ok on the exercise front this week but eating has been so so at best. I've eaten a little too much this week but trying to have a good weekend to make up for it. Well, maybe not too much just maybe some wrong food choices. Here's an article on why it's so hard for overweight people to lose weight.
http://health.discovery.com/news/healthscout/article.html?article=528483&category=29&year=2005
It just reinforced me to keep on exercising!!! And how important that will be in getting this weight off!
Going to learn how to play poker tonight with the ladies. Maybe it's texas hold em or something, should be fun. We always have a good time together at our monthly get togethers. We usually do something active like walking or kayaking but when it turns colder we do stuff inside. Hope everyone is having a good week!

60 healthy tips

Here is an article on 60 tips for diets. It has some useful info but some is just for fun.
http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=2376163&cid=1&code=24422

Feeling better today! Amazing what a good night sleep can do and ready to go exercise later when my son's at preschool. I really should use it as study time as I'm behind but I can't give up my exercise either! So, that means a lot of late nights studying but what can I do, got a big test this weekend and not looking forward to it as it means no fun for me!
It's funny but I was working out next to some real thin women the other day and she was obsessing over her body saying things like, "I can't have an fat in my milk, I don't need the extra fat". This woman was rail thin, no fat whatsoever and if she loses anymore she will be borderline anorexic. Then she was going on about her fat on her stomach. I couldn't see any fat, it was flat as a board! Seems we all obsess with our bodies, well most of us. I was hoping when I was thin, I won't obsess like her but who knows. Have a good day and thanks for posting comments to my blog! I'll try to visit yours today.

ups and downs of wt loss

It's funny and maybe some of you have experienced this but I can be so upbeat and feeling good about my progress and then didn't get much sleep last night and then I feel like crud today and down about myself. I get tired of this cycle. I know it has a lot to do with being tired and not wanting to do the right thing. I wanted Phad Thai dish real bad!! But resisted as it's the tired brain talking, the "I need comfort food now" talking. I don't want to listen to that voice anymore. I instead listend to the "workout today for you health, just do what you can even if your a little tired" and that voice won out for today. I want so much to get to the next goal of 1 more lb of as I really like the nice round numbers (40) but then I'll have a bad day and think "maybe your really don't want it that bad". The fat mentality or something. The fat body fighting with the thin innner body that wants out!! Anyway, school is stressing me out also and it's getting really hard and I'm falling behind so must go. I will try to post my haircut picture here. I don't love it as it's been a long time since I've had bangs. I was going to get a bob and cut the hair but wasn't ready quite yet. Hope everyone is having a good week!

lost! and comment about cheat meals

Yes, lost 1.2! I wasn't sure if I was going to as my scale at home was fluctuated a lot from yesterday and today. I'll take it. That makes it -39....one more to a 40 to keep pace w/ Fat B...! I was wondering what you think of cheat meals. Meaning a meal or 2 every week that's higher in fat and not what you would necessarily called healthy food. I know some of you go out to eat once a week and do this and sometimes I do to. But, on the other hand, when I had that high sodium chinese food this week by wt just jumped up a few pounds. I didn't like that a bit! So, I'm going to try and stay on the straight and narrow this week. I do have one challenge coming up friday night as my friend wants to start a girl poker night for this month. I know they will have some high fat snacks so I've decided that 'you plan to fail if you fail to plan' and will bring my cooler w/ some fruit or veggie tray or eat something low fat beforehand. I know, that we will probably have a cocktail and I've decided to have the low cal beck's beer, it's only 64 cals or something! Probably just watered down beer but hey it's something and better than high fat mixers that she will most likely provide as I know what the host likes. I know on ww we have our flex points that we can use the 35 extra a week if we want but if I use these all I usually will not lose so I'm staying at the low end this week and earning my exercise points! Hope everyone is having a good week!

article about hunger chemical

Here's an article about a chemical that can repress or cause hunger that was on aol news today. Not sure if anything will come of it, but makes me wonder if this has something to do with some people just being hungry all the time and not really satisfied with their food.
http://diets.aol.com/newsandtrends/interim_chrome/_a/scientists-identify-agent-that-regulates/20061002171409990001

Going to weigh in later today, don't expect much change at this point hoping for a maintain.

undoing my hard work

After doing really well during the week, and doing some sort of exercise most days, I feel like I blew it yesterday with eating out twice. The scale is showing up 2lbs. and I know that's physically impossible to gain 7000 calories in one day! And weigh in is tomorrow, yikes! It must be the sodium from chinese food and eating late! I'm pissed at myself though as I didn't make the healthy choice, not that there was many there. Well okay, today is a new day and I am starting again. I'm taking my son to go swimming today or a matinee or something, of course, he says 'let's go to Toys R Us'. He loves that place! I got my haircut yesterday. Got bangs again, it's been awhile. I'm not used to them and keep pushing them to the side. Hope everyone is doing well, gotta go.

try to post a pic and foot issues!

I will attempt to post a picture today of my son. I'm still learning about using this digital camera so we'll see how I do. He is a great boy and the light of our lives. He has a good sense of humor and is real caring and sensistive to others. We are doing preschool again as he just turned 5 and seems to go well. We decided to try a christian school to give him exposure and he said "make sure and tell Dad that I know who Jesus is now!" Cute. They say such funny things sometimes. On the workout front, I've slowed a little due to having foot issues. I had that ankle injury a while back (twisted) and still sore but now I have this weird pain in my toes and hamstring. So, decided to slow down a bit and listen to my body. Did get in a small walk and did yoga again yesterday. It felt a little more calm in the yoga yesterday. Liked the Indian type music. She always says, "like Ghandi says, be the change you want to see" or something like that. I think that would apply to our wt loss journey too, don't you? Hope everyone is having a good week.

comparing myself to others

How do you not compare yourself to others? Being in wt watchers as I see people get to goal an they will say "I lost 37 lbs. to get to goal" and I'm thinking either, 'man I have so much more weight to lose than she had to lose' or I think 'why did I let this get so out of hand'. Like first it was 30 then 40 then 50 then 60 and up up up after the baby was born. I know, I shouldn't beat myself up about it and am just glad that I'm getting a handle on it now. But why couldn't I when I was younger? Sometimes I would and get down to a reasonable wt and then go back up. I guess a lot was emotional eating and just not being able to figure out how or really want to live a healthy lifestyle. It was easy to just forget about it and not think about the weight and avoid the scale. This time I'm really looking at the why and trying I mean going to change it for good as I'm tired of this yo yo up and down and I want off!!! Also, been going to the gym a lot and can't help comparing myself to all those thin women jogging around the track! I look at everyone though and there are some mommies out there that need to lose a few but it's amazing that the majority are fit but I suppose that is they are long time regulars at the gym. I decided to change my goal wt from 150 down to 145. That's the max for wt watchers goal as I'm 5'4". But that is the goal for 45 yrs plus and I'm not that old yet. So, I may have to change to 140 but I won't till I get closer to that number which is a ways away. You can set a wt. goal higher if your doctor writes you a note or something. I thought 150 was doable cause I was there for quite a while way back when. So, in total, I need to lose 101 at this point to get to 145! arrrggghhh. I know I can do it so I better just get busy and get real about it!

Fast food restaurants

I get this newsletter called the worst foods. Sometimes, I don't read it and other times there is something interesting. There is an article called "Are Restaurant Nutritional Numbers Believable?" and it's here http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/cmi_2363929/cid_1/code_24423/ It is a little long but it's scary to think that when you figure your points from their nutritional web sites that maybe the data isn't accurate depending on what size your entry is compared to the one they say you get. I know the best say is to eat at home always, but we know that's not always doable. Most days I can eat at home but once in a while we will go out. Another thing I have been thinking about (maybe cause my old friend had all that plastic surgery due to excess skin), is will my legs and tummy and buns really shrink back to the way they were. I know they won't be exactly the same due to being older and having a baby and stretch marks!! yuck! Maybe I was talking about this earlier but they say if you've been overweight a long time it won't go back like before. I think I could put up with a little tummy but I hope the legs and butt lose the flab!! I'm doing the exercise, cardio and wts and now yoga, so I'm hoping I'm doing all that I can. I know, it seems I shouldn't get concerned now with such superficial things. One lady on the ww board who lost like over 150 pds said something like "I didn't look good naked when I was fat, and I don't look good naked thin". She showed some photos and just some excess skin. Maybe I would be vain and get in taken off. I can't remember how it felt to feel good in my own skin, I mean naked. It would feel good to not feel self conscious about it. Especially in front of my hubby. I can wish. Ok, what are your thoughts out there? Is your body image getting better as you lose weight? Can you stop the negative comments some of us make to ourselves? Most days I can but not all days.

How do you handle compliments?

Seems lately I have been getting a few compliments on how much thinner I'm looking. Two of my mom's friends and one of mine have made comments and while I do appreciate it I wonder if she has been talking a lot about my weight loss progress and they feel they need to comment. Here's some I've received: "your looking good", "your wasting away" (ha ha don't think 209 is wasting away, maybe for a tall man!), and "keep going" "I notice your wt loss, especially in your face and neck". I don't know about you but sometimes people will rub me the wrong way, of course, I don't let on but sometimes I think they are going overboard or they are telling me not to quit and go back to the larger chub that I was. I don't know why I'm thinking of this, maybe I'm too sensitive about body wt right now! I guess they want to give me encouragement or acknowledge my progress but I feel that I have a long way to go and wish they'd comment when I was further along in this journey. Being nitpicky today I guess! I never am good at taking compliments in general or at least in person. I always seem to say something like "I have a long way to go" or some self effacing comment. I need to have more patience with myself and others and quit thinking "I want this wt off now!" Well, in other news, we had a good day today and I took my son to the zoo in Seattle for a while as we were passing through there and he enjoyed himself. I'll try to post a cute picture of him later, got to do an assignment now for school. Hope everyone is having a good week!!

doing good

A short post today as I'm running off to school as I have an open lab I want to attend as she has given us too much to do in our anatomy/phys. class that I can get done in 2 labs. So it sucks as it will be a long day and night! But the good news today is that I'm down -2.6 today. WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! I really feel stepping up the exercise to 5 or more times a week has done the trick to get me losing consistantly again. It's nice to be able to have two meals out this week and not blow the diet. I'll post more tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well this week.

Get Real

I'm re-reading a book I got a few years ago called "Get Real" by Daniel Kosich. I took a class at the YMCA that was about healthy eating a losing weight and this was the book they used. I didn't pay that much attention back then as I guess I wasn't really ready to live the healthy lifestyle but now I am. Here's what he says to why why America isn't winning the diet war. "1. We want to believe in magic" such as the latest diet, a diet pill or powders. or a pill to burn fat while you sleep. "2. We want a one-size-fits-all answer" such as that we will all lose weight on one diet or that we will all lose at the same rate. That won't happen due to the number of fat cells in each of our bodies and our base metabolism. He said that if you yo yo diet for years and you are 40 to 50 lbs. overweight you could have made billions of more fat cells that other people who haven't been overweight. Yikes! I never knew if that was true or not. No wonder it is so hard to get off now! "3. We thought the answer was all-or-nothing" like when you go all out and exercise a lot and get sore, follow a real strict diet and just gave up cause the program was too hard. I definitely know that to be true! If you can't follow the program for life or don't look forward to the meals or exercise, you'll revert to your old ways. At least, that's what I did in the past. I know that moderation is the key. Anyway, now I'm reading about self acceptance at your current weight and to try not to get down on yourself because of your weight as it will make the journey so much easier. This is a hard one! I have good days and bad days on the self image. It seems to be a pretty good book so if you see one at the library, check it out. As for the weekend, we had a chance to go out without our son last night and went to see the movie The Black Dahlia. It was pretty good, it was kind of a 1940's murder mystery. Now, I'm doing assignments for my anatomy/phys. class and it's yucky! Not liking the style of this teacher but I will persevere!! Me and my husband had a chance to go to the gym together today (a rare occasion as he works a lot and I go during the week days) and it was nice. We went into the hot tub after which was pretty cold for some weird reason and he said "you really are gonna do it this time, aren't you?". I guess he's seeing changes in my eating and my behavior and of course my weight. Think he's surprised I haven't quit this time and I won't either. It may get hard at times and it will be a long journey but there's no stopping this time. I'm changing for good this time. It is finally the right time and I can do this. Hope everyone is doing well this week.